Give girl another chance ?

[jockdisvdude]

did she turn out to be a good person ? this girl seems to be a good person, but I don't even know anymore.

 

[chuckieland]

pic?
at least get lay first
then make your decision

 

[fatalbert]

no, herb doesn't make a difference.

herb is also addicting, not necessarily in the same way, but some people can't stop because of addiction. believe me I know some people who are addicted it isn't good

but that isn't a terrible lie, certainly not one worth dumping her for

 

[pulse8]

<< did she turn out to be a good person ? this girl seems to be a good person, but I don't even know anymore. >>



I think you first need to realise that NO ONE will EVER be able to keep that promise.

Everyone will eventually let you down in some way. Smoking is hard to stop doing and if she lied to you it's because she felt that she let you down. Did you ever think of that?

 

[Anghang]

give her another chance...smoking is a hard habit to break...she knows she's weak and let you down...a promise to not let you down is a pretty huge commitment for someone that you've only known a month....the more you two get to know each other, the more committed she may become to not letting you down and maybe more effort put forth to quit smoking....just don't expect her to quit cold turkey...

EDIT: just read that it was herb...my answer to that is pretty much the same...if she's been smoking for quite some time, it'll be hard for her to quit...for some its like asking a person to give up alcohol...

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

<< okay it wasn't cigs, it was HERB. does that make a difference ? >>

i would have said no the first time around, her ass is grass (pun intended)

 

[Sir Fredrick]

No way man. A) she lied like a pro B) she smokes. It's my policy to not date people from either category.

 

[busmaster11]

Oh. Then its not that bad. There's no indication that she lied to protect herself or so she can cheat or she can claim something to make you happy - like being a virgin or something.

On the contgrary, she lied perhaps unintentionally because she knew what was right and wants to head in that direction for herself and for you. Give her credit for that. But like being an alcholic, somethings you can't help, and even if you can, you may very well relapse. I'd just worry about whether she can keep clean with drugs and other nasty stuff.

If she can, she sounds like she has good intentions.

 

[DaLeroy]

<< did she turn out to be a good person ? this girl seems to be a good person, but I don't even know anymore. >>



Um, she cheated on me for two months, lied about it, and then moved out of her home with him....would have to take the cake of all my ex's as being the biggest/worst bitch!!!

If she can't tell the truth, because she is afraid she has let you down, she shouldn't be making promises saying she isn't smoking. Rather should sit down and work it out, instead of damn lying about it.....Honesty in a relationship is one of the biggest things!!!!

And if she is hot.....trust me....you won't last long....some guy will fall for her charms and you will be left.... lying, pretty women are dangerous and evil, trust me!!! And if she promises that she won't lie again.....don't be too quick to believe it...I did....and boy, what a mistake that was...

But hey, YMMV with this girl..

 

[DarkLight]

Smoking ehh why don't you get her a bong and join in the fun.

 

[busmaster11]

I'd like to add that personally, I think there's nothing uglier in this world than an attractive girl who smokes...

 

[imported_vr6]

She lied so u wouldn't get mad at her, give her a break.

 

[jockdisvdude]

well i mean if she cheated on me, and lied so i wouldn't get mad at her!! that wouldn't work for me.

 

[rahvin]

<<<< All women lie. Get over it. >>



Yep. Unless you're into the puritain/super-religious type chicks, there's almost none that don't lie constantly. What you want to make sure of is that they don't lie to you about the BIG things. (I've never been with a guy, I'm a virgin, I'm not an axe murderer, etc.) >>

You two need to find other women, try to find some with integrity. They probably wont' be supermodels but they won't be high maintenance either. I think you draw and are attracted to women that are like you. Personally I can't stand liars and would have nothing to with one.

 

[ku]

smoking is a hard thing to stop. I know from experience. Give her another chance, but make it hard for her so it'll encourage her to quit smoking.

 

[p0ntif]

<< All women lie. Get over it. >>



word.

 

[DaLeroy]

<< She lied so u wouldn't get mad at her, give her a break. >>



Great reason to lie....what would make him more annoyed? The truth or a lie?

 

[Cybermastif]

I think there is more to this, that you are over looking something. From the way you put it, you don't like her smoking the dope in the first place, and are putting your expectations on her. Sounds like she wants to please you and quit, but when she fails, she lies to you so as to not a) hurt your feelings, or b) drive you away.

My opinion, if you have problems with her smoking dope, even if she quits and never lies to you again, it will still be there in the back of your mind, and there will be doubts that will interfear with your relationship for a long time. Best to simply end it where it stands now, use the fact she lied as your out. Maybe in time you can get over her smoking and she can get over her addiction. If not you will have a long road ahead putting both her smoking and her lie behind you. I speak from exerience.

 

[StageLeft]

<< The lie was so she wouldn't let me down. She made a promise to me that she wouldn't smoke anymore, and she had a smoke and she lied to me about it. She didn't tell me and when I asked her she was very convincing that she didn't smoke, but I know she did. The motive of the lie was to not let me down. So what do you think ? >>

HAHAHAHAHAH

OK first of all she should NOT have made that promise. It was virtually impossible to keep; an addict saying right there they'll stop (this is assuming that she smokes enough for addiction), thus there was no way she could do anything but either break that promise or lie in the future, so it's not a big deal. Just tell her you appreciate honesty.

 

[RudeBoie]

Everyone deserves a second chance........within reason (murderer, rapist, pedofile, etc)

 

[Atlantean]

personally I wouldn't date her because she is a smoker, but that is just my own personal opinion, I just don't like that smell, and I wouldn't want to have to deal with it, I am an anti-smoker I guess.

 

[mchammer187]

depend on your feelings toward her

and if you believe her

 

[Mani]

<< You two need to find other women, try to find some with integrity. They probably wont' be supermodels but they won't be high maintenance either. I think you draw and are attracted to women that are like you. Personally I can't stand liars and would have nothing to with one. >>



Then you've ruled out about 98% of the dating pool. Some of the most loving, caring, and loyal people I have ever known also happen to have lied in their lifetimes. For you to rule out having anything to do with someone on the basis that they may have lied is denying yourself a lot of meaningful relationships.

 

[Napta]

if the lie involved her cheating on you...get rid of that bi@ch

 

[Yo Ma Ma]

<< I met this girl about a month ago, and she's been really nice. I like her alot, and I thought everything was perfect about her until I found out she made a lie to me. She lied to me about something stupid, but I still am angry because she lied to me. And she seemed so sincere when she insisted that it wasn't a lie. I really like her alot, and want to start a serious relationship with her, but do u think I should give her another chance after this ? >>

You say she lied about something stupid (which in this case was she promised to not smoke pot but did, then lied about it afterward).

If you think it was about 'something stupid' then ask yourself why did you have her make the promise to begin with? Also, by promising not to smoke, then smoking, then saying she didn't smoke was actually more than one break in trust.

Unless you have a lot of spare time to play "I spy", or decide that truthfulness isn't all that important, I'd say move on.