Going to meet my father for the first time since I can remember tommorrow UPDATED: Just got back..

[brxndxn]

I have a friend who was in a situation like that..

He lived with his mom after his parents got divorced since his dad cheated on her mom. He only really knew his mom. So, of course, he hated his dad and loved his mom. I grew to know his mom.. and their story.

He cheated on her once and she hated him so much for it (maybe because she went from being decently hot to a total fat slob). She was so bent on revenge, that she decided to liquidate his dad and her company (assets mostly of intellectual property) in order to hurt him. So, their multi-million dollar company liquidated on the open market for about $600k. BTW, the dad was the one that started the company and he was the one with the PHD. His mom just owned half the company through marriage. So, the family went from being upper class to lower middle class.

However, his father went out to work again and made himself wealthy again. His mother worked some mediocre job and my friend never saw a lavish lifestyle since.

When he turned 18, he elected to get a restraining order removed (his mom got restraining orders on both herself and my friend) and he visited his dad. He started to realize his mom was a total and utter psycho b1tch after that. Apparently his father tried multiple times to get back together, never wanted the divorce, and even went to counseling for his problem.

So, IMO, this is a story where the dad was right and the mom was wrong. Ya, he cheated on her.. But because of that, the mother decided to break up the family, destroy their wealth, and never allow my friend to have a father growing up - all in the name of revenge.

Ya, she raised him herself.. But she didn't have to do that..

 

[suse920]

About to punch him in the face? Damn if there ever is a time to punch somone that would have been it. Even if the grandson was ten i would have beat him untill i couldnt move my arm.

 

[OffTopic1]

Originally posted by: jumpr
Why would you go to his mother's funeral? For all intents and purposes you really have no father, so why even give him the satisfaction of seeing his son's face?

Exactly what I was thinking. And it sound like you are not close to your grandma to be going to the funeral. Another thing is why the heck should your mother be there?

Sorry to say but it sound like both side of the family need to seek professional helps or at the very least not contact each others.

On the positive note. Don't you think it is better that you have no contact because it won't be pretty to see your mom & dad have it out very time he contacted you.

Also see Ronstang post because I have personally seen and heard many negative things the way he described after a marriage went sour, and mostly it is the women that are the bitter ones.

 

[z0mb13]

whoa this is like straight from a movie script!

 

[yepmetoo]

ooohhhh the drama.............

I would have beat your mom fvcking senseless if she showed up at a family funeral to remind someone "that he still has two kids that he hasn?t met in 17 years".

Her arguement is that he could have paid? Why hasn't he. There are laws in place to get money from deadbeat dads.

Maybe its cause your mom is the trailer park whore she portrays herself as through her actions and you should be out looking for your real dad instead of causing scenes at funerals.

Also why are you so quick to dismiss your dad's words as BS?

If she just wanted to remind him he has two kids this was not the place to do it..............

 

[Platypus]

Originally posted by: yepmetoo
ooohhhh the drama.............

I would have beat your mom fvcking senseless if she showed up at a family funeral to "that he still has two kids that he hasn?t met in 17 years".

Her arguement is that he could have paid? Why hasn't he. There are laws in place to get money from deadbeat dads.

Maybe its cause your mom is the trailer park whore she portrays herself as through her actions and you should be out looking for your real dad instead of causing scenes at funerals.

Also why are you so quick to dismiss your dad's words as BS?

If she just wanted to remind him he has two kids this was not the place to do it..............

Haha, I like how you took the time to register a new name because you didn't want to use your current one to post such a hilarious troll.

 

[yepmetoo]

Originally posted by: CorporateRecreation

Originally posted by: yepmetoo
ooohhhh the drama.............

I would have beat your mom fvcking senseless if she showed up at a family funeral to "that he still has two kids that he hasn?t met in 17 years".

Her arguement is that he could have paid? Why hasn't he. There are laws in place to get money from deadbeat dads.

Maybe its cause your mom is the trailer park whore she portrays herself as through her actions and you should be out looking for your real dad instead of causing scenes at funerals.

Also why are you so quick to dismiss your dad's words as BS?

If she just wanted to remind him he has two kids this was not the place to do it..............

Haha, I like how you took the time to register a new name because you didn't want to use your current one to post such a hilarious troll.

Troll or not....its true...........

 

[aidanjm]

seems sad you can't work out some way to have him in your life. And your little half-brother. he's obviously a deeply flawed guy, if you can accept and get past that, maybe you could have some kind of contact with him.

 

[OffTopic1]

[Addition] I have a half sister that I never met, and my dad weren't allow to meet her or help her in anyway by my mother. Because my mother can be extremely stubborn and foul. However, I would like to meet her one day.

My dad had a child that he never known with his ex gf prior to the marriage to my mother. His ex never told him about their love child to anyone or her daughter till a few months before her death. And, my sister was extremely poor who contacted my dad and asked for help with the funeral. My dad sent her $10,000 to a cousin to pass it on to her, and my evil mother found out and went global on him because she went though his personal mails. My mom demanded a devoice and went over sea to stay with her mom for 3 months, because in her ?goody/God loving daily church going Catholic eyes? my father had deceived her.

To the contrary. My father is not a perfect father because he can be violent at times (he rarely attend church, and got baptized to get my mother to marry him, and my mother is a self convert), but he make sure that his family are cloth/fed and he never cheated on my mom. And, my ?perfect mother? in her 71 years of life had only held a job for 4 years of her life, who ?never sin? or do any work at home (no cooking or cleaning) and devoted her life to the church 7 days a week averaging from 2-4 hours per day, and more hours at special occasions.

My mother reason for attending church is that my father & the rest of us are siners who need to be save, therefore she has to do good deeds at the church & church funtions including praying for us that why she doesn't need to do any of the lowly house chores.

PS. The drama unfolded 15 years ago in November and my dad died 7 months later in June partly from the stress. My dad asked me to do him a big favor by take care of his family because his work is not done and is being taking away early. And, that was the only time I ever saw tears/emotion from my dad.

 

[aidanjm]

anyone pasted this yet?

Papa Was A Rolling Stone

It was the third of September
That day I'll always remember, yes I will
'Cause that was the day that my daddy died
I never got a chance to see him
Never heard nothing but bad things about him
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the tuth

And Mama just hung her head and said
"Son, Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died) All he left us was alone"
"Papa was a rolling stone, my son
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died) All he left us was alone"

Well, well

Hey Mama, is it true what they say
that Papa never worked a day in his life
And Mama, some bad talk going around town
saying that Papa had three outside children and another wife
And that ain't right
Hey, talk about Papa doing some store front preaching
Talked about saving souls and all the time leaching
Dealing in debt and stealing in the name of the Lord

Mama just hung her head and said
"Papa was a rolling stone, my son
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died) All he left us was alone"
"Hey, Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died) All he left us was alone"

Ugh

Hey Mama, I heard Papa called himself a jack of all trades
Tell me is that what sent Papa to an early grave
Folks say Papa would beg, borrow, steal to pay his bills
Hey Mama, folks say that Papa was never much on thinking
Spent most of his life chasing women and drinking
Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth

And Mama looked up with a tear in her eye and said
"Son, Papa was a rolling stone
(Well, well, well, well)
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died)
All he left us was alone, lone, lone, lone, alone"
"Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died) All he left us was alone"

"I said, Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
(And when he died) All he left us was alone"




(the best version is by Sly And The Family Stone!)

 

[Suspicious-Teach8788]

Originally posted by: virtualgames0
Yeah his mom just died and their funeral is tommorrow.
I'm going to the funeral, which he'll most likely be there.

It's going to be a very awkward moment, and I can't think of anything to say to him yet..

UPDATE:
Here's a long regurgitation of everything I remembered there.

I went to the funeral, and he was there. Before seeing him, I was pretty emotionless about it. But once I saw him.. all my emotions came in, and I just thought about how it would have been like to have a dad. Tears streamed down my face for a few minutes.

Afterwards, when he went up to his mom's casket, I noticed that he was carrying a little boy in front of him(around 7). At this point, my heart began pounding fast and heavy at the thought of having a little brother and from the anticipation of his reaction when I tell him that I'm his son.

Later he walks out to talk to relatives/friends. I see the boy alone, so I asked him if that guy he was with is his dad. And he says yes. It was a bit of a shock to know that I still have a younger sibling. I kinda wanted a little brother, and I wanted to be his friend.

My sister walked out to talk to our "DNA donor", and I followed her. My aunt that I met 5 years ago came out and introduced my sis and I to him, since he obviously doesn't recognize us. His first reaction was to his arms around my mom and my sister. My sister quickly dodged away with disgust. Then my sister said to him, I'm just here to remind you that you still have a daughter, and a son. She briefly walked away afterwards.

He approached me next while we were by the door about to leave, and my mind just went blank. He came off with an apologetic tone. He said owes my sister and I more than he could ever repay. He tells me that he cannot explain the reason why he left us, and it's the past anyways so he doesn't want to discuss it.

Then he starts bullsh!tting to cover himself. He says that he misses us, and he even has pictures of us by his bed. Then he says that it was my mom's fault that she took the kids without his consent and that there's nothing he could have done for us.

While he says all of this, my mom is standing next to me. So you can probably imagine that she goes into a rage, a pandemonium. She starts rebutting the BS that he said. She refutes that he could have at least paid child support(he is pretty wealthy considering his occupation).

Upon hearing this, he raises his voice and says.. oh so you came here to ask for money huh? My mom and my sister comes to defend, and says that we just came to show that he still has two kids that he hasn?t met in 17 years. We tell him that we are leaving, and we walk out.

He follows us out while we walk to the car. By now, everyone has heard my mom screaming and follows us out also. My aunt that introduced us earlier yells at my mom for making the scene. My mom yells back in defense that my dad should be responsible for his kids.

The aunt begins to get violent here and she swings her purse at my mom. My mom gets pissed off and swings her purse back. Everyone is comes to break it up. But then the grandma?s youngest son comes to attack my mom. He slaps her on the face. I get outraged by this and I get ready to punch him on the face. Then all of the sudden, I get pulled back by my dad, which I quickly push him away.

By now, this big guy that works at the cemetery tells everyone to break it up, and they stopped. We left after that.


Cliffs
Dad showed up and he was apologetic. Although he started BSing to justify himself, and make himself look innocent. My mom standing next to me heard it, and got pissed off. She yelled at him for about 30 seconds and we leave..
Then as we are about to get onto the car, his sister comes(my aunt), and swings her purse at my mom. Then she retaliates and swings her purse back, and a few more family members joins into the brawl. A big guy that works at the cemetary came to break it up. No one really gets hurt badly, except my mom has a pretty sore face from getting slapped by his brother. We go home and will probably never see him again.

Hmm nice of you to tell us this.

I haven't seen my dad since I was five. He would call me like once every 3 years or something and I would never talk to him. He sent me like 5 e-mails (I don't even know HOW he got my e-mail) from 7th grade - 12th grade.

One day in college, I got an e-mail saying to meet up. I decided to do it and it turned out to be a 2 hr dinner. While I had a lab due the next day, I found it to be a good meeting.

He's never paid a dime for child support just like in your case, and I hated him in many ways from all the things my mom said. I guess he was pretty nice during the visit. I saw him cry at the end as we shook hands ready to part. To this day I still don't feel very emotional.

He's just like a stranger I guess. I don't know how you feel. If your dad left you at 3, do you even remember much? My memories are faint but there were enough experiences.

Oh, well I guess my dad left around when I was 3 too. He just visited me a few times (like 2 to 3 times) after that, which was why I last saw him when I was 5.

 

[Pepsei]

wow.

 

[RMSistight]

Originally posted by: hypn0tik
Man, if ANYONE slapped my mom, I'd kill them.

I'd go into RAGE mode.

 

[Chaotic42]

I've got a dad like that. I've never seen him and he has 11 kids with 11 women.

Of course, my mom is similar, I saw her for the first and only time when I was 21.

Just say to hell with him, man.

 

[RMSistight]

Don't need them then, don't need him now.

 

[emmpee]

Way to get involved in a huge fight at a funeral. Don't you have any respect for the deceased?

 

[sixone]

Originally posted by: emmpee
Way to get involved in a huge fight at a funeral. Don't you have any respect for the deceased?

QFT

OP: I hope you'll make it your goal in life not to perpetuate this kind of chaos for your own kids. Your family may be whacked, but your kids don't have to be part of it.

 

I hate to say I told you so, but...well, I told you so.

What good was accomplished by getting in a fight? You shouldn't have even gone.

 

[Nitemare]

When are you guys going on Springer?

 

[sniperruff]

sorry for hearing that. relatives in general are a PITA, especially bastards like that.