- May 28, 2007
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I haven't seen one of these threads in a while, but this Onion story just made me tear up.
Disgusted Supreme Court Can't Believe It Has To Rule Having Sex With American Flag Protected Under First Amendment
http://www.theonion.com/articles/disgusted-supreme-court-cant-believe-it-has-to-rul,20719/
:thumbsup:
Disgusted Supreme Court Can't Believe It Has To Rule Having Sex With American Flag Protected Under First Amendment
http://www.theonion.com/articles/disgusted-supreme-court-cant-believe-it-has-to-rul,20719/
According to sources, Roberts took the opportunity to make the language of the ruling very specific, largely because the justices agreed in a closed-door session that they never again in their lifetimes wanted to preside over a similar case.
"And just to get this out of the way, once and for all: You can cram the American flag into your vagina or your ass or both at the same time, you can use it to strangle yourself while you masturbate, and you can shit and throw up all over the flag and then have sex with the shit-and-vomit-covered flag while flipping off a bald eagle," Roberts said. "I dearly hope I haven't left anything out, but in case I have, just assume the Constitution permits whatever foul act of flag desecration you sick fucks can conjure up."
...
The single dissenting vote came from Justice Anthony Kennedy, who in his two-sentence dissenting opinionthe shortest in the history of the courtsaid "I can't do this anymore. It's destroying me."
:thumbsup: