good small time crime to impress the ladies? (hyphothetically)

[brianmanahan]

so lets say (hyphothetically) that a guy has tried to impress many girls in his time. but for whatever reason they never show any interests. maybe it is because he is 300 lbs or doesnt have money, so he tries to be extra nice but they just treat him like he is a no body. but then he notices that those same ladies loves guys with similar characteristics but who are "bad boys" due to their past illegal behaviors.

so the question is: in theory what would be a good crime to commit to increase reputation with the ladies? nothing felony level, definitely some misdimenor. prefferably one that is easy to do without getting caught but which still has some flair. AND that the ladies will love. AND one where if one does get caught it would probably just end up being a slap on the wrist.

of course this is all hyphothetical and is just a thought experiment.

 

[BoberFett]

I was gonna say that rape will usually get you women, but then you went on to say no felonies...

 

[manimal]

Would setting your back hair on fire in front of a Yoga class be a felony?

 

[Arik5405]

I was gonna say that rape will usually get you women, but then you went on to say no felonies...

It's only a felony if you get caught...

 

[darkswordsman17]

Tell him to become a bootlegger. Just make sure and not cry in front of the girl when he gets arrested.

It also helps if he can borrow his dad's '67 GTO and have a friend tell them to stay away from the guy and say that he's a bad seed.

 

[brianmanahan]

Would setting your back hair on fire in front of a Yoga class be a felony?

no but it would be creepy. the goal is creepy, not cool.

maybe something like burning trash in a parking lot? i dont know if thats edgy enough though. loitering is probably not impressive enough.

 

[JPS35]

lawnchair and popcorn...

 

[SandEagle]

isn't this why the invented choroform?

 

[WelshBloke]

You should try some of your pomes. They should be illegal.

 

[brianmanahan]

isn't this why the invented choroform?

again, creepy, and definitely a felony

 

[GundamW]

Why?
Money impresses ladies better than crime does.

 

[bfdd]

I think the general "don't give a fuck attitude" has more to do with it than previously committed crimes. I mean if you were a chick, why would you want to hook up with a criminal? That implies they weren't smart enough not to get caught.

 

[j&j]

murder, burn body, no crime happened.

 

[SandEagle]

again, creepy, and definitely a felony

hmm, in that case stage a robbery. have a friend try to take her purse and you come in to the rescue. get the snot beat out of you to gain sympathy from her. then whale on him until he's a bloody mess. karate kick his kidney out of his butt. the brutality and savagery will reek of manliness. date guaranteed (unless she has a CCW and kills your friend, then that would suck)

 

[brianmanahan]

Why?
Money impresses ladies better than crime does.

well lets say one does not posses the ability to gather a sufficent amount of money to impress the ladies

and getting more money by stealing would be an automatic felony

 

[titaniumsoul]

Maybe riding a hot speed bike? Nothing felony involved there. Just looks bad ass.

 

[bfdd]

btw a friend of mine tells a story about being drunk leaving a dorm party and breaking into someone elses dorm through their window and making him and his friends sandwiches. you can just steal that story and use it.

 

[Itchrelief]

Ripping off mattress tags? Lane change without signaling? 16 items in the 15 item express lane?

 

[arkcom]

Obvious thing for a 300 pounder is to get naked and steal some socks from WalMart.

 

[brianmanahan]

Ripping off mattress tags? Lane change without signaling? 16 items in the 15 item express lane?

nah those are too low key, arent nearly impressive enough to have any affect

 

[TakeNoPrisoners]

Start dealing weed, depending on the quantity you have it could be a misdemeanor.

Or maybe it is a felony still idk.

 

[Away]

Buy the underage ladies some alcohol.

 

[Anubis]

being in 500 fights should do it

 

[Red Squirrel]

Piracy. Not only is it considered worse than murder in the states, but if you are badass enough you can do it without getting caught, I'm sure woman will be impressed by your ability to get movies and stuff and will see you as a great future family guy to ensure everyone is entertained.

 

[brianmanahan]

being in 500 fights should do it

thanks that is a good thought. wouldn't want to get hit with a felony charge though so id have to spread it out over time. maybe just one fight would be impressive enough, even if i lost bad which i would probably do unless i fought with like a really old guy.

i also thought about 1) buying or 2) stealing an expensive car (bmw?), but 1) no money and not a crime anyway, and 2) felony.