Got any bad jokes?

[Throckmorton]

My office is having a Xmas party tomorrow, and there is going to be a bad joke contest. The winner gets an iPod. The boss suggested finding them on the internet, but I that's not good enough. I need a REALLY REALLY corny joke. Corny enough that if you planted it you'd get aliens or dead baseball players landing in it. The kind of corny you can only find on ATOT. Please share your bad jokes!!

 

[anxi80]

why do women wear make-up and perfume?



because they're ugly and they stink!

 

[IronWing]

What goes ha ha ha plop?



A man laughing his head off.

 

[TheoPetro]

careful with calc NEVER drink and derive. Guess its industry specific.

 

[BigJ]

Guy walks into a bar says "Ow that hurt."

 

[Q]

What'd the one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

-We better get some support here before they think we're nuts.

 

[IronWing]

What's purple and drives a Duesenberg?



The Grape Gatsby.

 

[sash1]

wanna hear a corny joke?




once there was an ear of corn!

 

[IronWing]

Did you hear the one about the three holes?


Well, well, well.

 

[IronWing]

Why does the Easter bunny hide his eggs?




So no one finds out he's been screwing the chicken.

 

[YoungGun21]

"Knock knock"
"whos there"
"nobody"
"Nobody who?"
(say nothing at all)

I always find knock knock jokes to be the most unfunny and corny of them all. That is just the one I remembered first.

 

[RapidSnail]

Why did the chicken cross the road?




Because he was stapled to the bunny...:frown:

 

[Mojoed]

Your computer is so old, it's got a Grandmother board.

 

[Goosemaster]

An Iranian, a black man, a Jew, an Indian Help Desk outsourcee, a Portuguese slave trader, a French politican, and an Italian Deli clerk are put into a blender and served to a rich emperor in china.

He then ignites, has a heart attack, keels over, and dies.

Later it is found that he died of freedom and because his asshole caught fire.

edit: Also the cup was made of lead.

 

[Kyteland]

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Edit: BTW, that joke can be found in any one of these lame joke threads:

http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1993448&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1637124&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1544602&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1701017&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1828933&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1847327&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1461695&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1915880&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1934515&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1908160&arctab=arc
http://forums.anandtech.com/me...did=1971210&arctab=arc

 

[Narse]

Two sausages are in a frying pan. The first sausage says to the second sausage, "Man it's hot in here!" the second sausage replies "AHHHHHHH a talking sausage!!!!"

 

[dudeman007]

Why can't Helen Keller drive?


BECAUSE SHES A WOMAN.

 

[Leros]

Originally posted by: Goosemaster
An Iranian, a black man, a Jew, an Indian Help Desk outsourcee, a Portuguese slave trader, a French politican, and an Italian Deli clerk are put into a blender and served to a rich emperor in china.

He then ignites, has a heart attack, keels over, and dies.

Later it is found that he died of freedom and because his asshole caught fire.

edit: Also the cup was made of lead.

*head asplodes*

 

[Throckmorton]

Hahhahahah

 

[BigJ]

Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: Leros

Originally posted by: Goosemaster
An Iranian, a black man, a Jew, an Indian Help Desk outsourcee, a Portuguese slave trader, a French politican, and an Italian Deli clerk are put into a blender and served to a rich emperor in china.

He then ignites, has a heart attack, keels over, and dies.

Later it is found that he died of freedom and because his asshole caught fire.

edit: Also the cup was made of lead.

*head asplodes*

nah...it just caught fire...

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: BigJ
Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!

:laugh:

 

[PottedMeat]

Originally posted by: dudeman007
Why can't Helen Keller drive?


BECAUSE SHES A WOMAN.

http://bash.org/?171987

 

[sash1]

Originally posted by: Narse
Two sausages are in a frying pan. The first sausage says to the second sausage, "Man it's hot in here!" the second sausage replies "AHHHHHHH a talking sausage!!!!"

go with this one, you'll win for sure :thumbsup:

 

[Goosemaster]

Originally posted by: PottedMeat

Originally posted by: dudeman007
Why can't Helen Keller drive?


BECAUSE SHES A WOMAN.

http://bash.org/?171987

:laugh: