Grampa: "My story begins in nineteen dickety two. We had to say dickety, because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles."
(Class laughs)
Martin: Dickety? Highly dubious."
Grampa: What are you cacklin'at fatty?! Too much PIE thats your problem!"
That's the Wright Brothers' plane. At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it fifteen miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single handedly won us the Civil War, it did!
Lisa: Hi, Grandpa, how are you?
Grandpa: Well, you're really asking yourself two questions there. The first takes me back to 1926: Admiral Byrd had just flown a plane over the North Pole, mere hours ahead of the Three Stooges...
On why he has a a 49-star American flag: "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura."
"The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it."
Grampa: I can finally win a gold medal. I came close at the 1936 Olympics. I threw a javelin that barely missed Hitler. But I did hit an assassin who was trying to kill Hitler.
Hitler (in 1936): What is this, Kill Hitler Day?
Grampa: The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it.
my two favorites:
"You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run out of the house with a big washtub and... hey! Where are you going?"
"Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I used my washtub that morning to clean my turkey, which back then was called a 'walking bird'. We had walking bird on Thanksgiving with cranberry sauce, beloved patriot eyes, and yams stuffed with gunpowder. We also sat around and watched football, which back then was called baseball."
"Anyway, 'long story short', is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling."
"We can?t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don?t go anywhere -- like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you?d say.
"Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn?t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
(Class laughs)
Martin: Dickety? Highly dubious."
Grampa: What are you cacklin'at fatty?! Too much PIE thats your problem!"
That's the Wright Brothers' plane. At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it fifteen miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single handedly won us the Civil War, it did!
Lisa: Hi, Grandpa, how are you?
Grandpa: Well, you're really asking yourself two questions there. The first takes me back to 1926: Admiral Byrd had just flown a plane over the North Pole, mere hours ahead of the Three Stooges...
On why he has a a 49-star American flag: "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura."
"The metric system is the tool of the devil! My car gets forty rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it."
Grampa: I can finally win a gold medal. I came close at the 1936 Olympics. I threw a javelin that barely missed Hitler. But I did hit an assassin who was trying to kill Hitler.
Hitler (in 1936): What is this, Kill Hitler Day?
Grampa: The next time I saw Hitler, we had dinner and laughed about it.
my two favorites:
"You see, back in those days, rich men would ride around in zeppelins, dropping coins on people, and one day I seen J. D. Rockefeller flying by. So I run out of the house with a big washtub and... hey! Where are you going?"
"Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I used my washtub that morning to clean my turkey, which back then was called a 'walking bird'. We had walking bird on Thanksgiving with cranberry sauce, beloved patriot eyes, and yams stuffed with gunpowder. We also sat around and watched football, which back then was called baseball."
"Anyway, 'long story short', is a phrase whose origins are complicated and rambling."
"We can?t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don?t go anywhere -- like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. 'Give me five bees for a quarter,' you?d say.
"Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn?t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."