Let me set the background for you. This guy is 27 years old, lived an incredibly sheltered life, has known my fiancée since they were 5 and they have been best friends since then.
Now on to the story.
My fiancée just called and was telling me that her friend, let's call him Andy like the 40 year old virgin, called her at work all upset and crying. Seems that he went out over the weekend, Friday night I think, and was at a bar with some friends and had a bit too much to drink, which for him means he might have smelled a beer. Seriously I've seen the guy order virgin daiquiris on numerous occasions. Anyway back to the story. So while he is "drunk" some girl picks him up and takes him home to do the nasty. He tells her he doesn't want to and just wants to go to sleep but after a while she convinces him to do the deed. As soon as it is over he wants to go home and starts crying. Then the girl is "mean to him and starts calling him a pussy" and so he gathers up his clothes and runs out of her place.
Fast forward to the next day.
Andy somehow managed to get home and wakes up in his own bed. His first thought is to call his mom and tell her what he has done. Doing so he starts to cry and is unable to keep talking to his mom and just shuts down. So after a little while his parents come over and start beating on his door, he doesn't answer so they eventually get someone to let them in. They find him in the fetal position sobbing like a schoolgirl. They finally manage to get him to come around and he begs them to take him to the hospital because he is having a nervous breakdown. They do and he spends the weekend there. Apparently he just got out and called my fiancée when he got home.
She calls me and starts telling me this and all I can do is laugh. She's not too happy with me right now but I have told her repeatedly that I think the guy is gay and he either hasn't come to terms with it or just hasn't come out yet. She is all worried and wants to go over there after work to make sure he is ok. I told her I didn't think I should go since I wouldn't be able to keep from laughing my ass off at him. To be honest I can't stop laughing and have tears running down my cheeks. So of course I had to come here and share with ATOT.
Update.
Got home last night and the fiancée was all in a tizzy about going to see her friend. She begged me to go with her so that I could "talk to him man to man" if needed. Told her that would be a problem since he apparently wasn't a man. Didn't make her too happy when I said that, but I went.
We get there and "Andy" at first doesn't want to let us in and is talking to us through the door and is obviously crying. She finally convinces him to let us in and immediately I couldn't believe what a mess he was and what a mess his apartment was.
He looked like he hadn't shaved or taken a bath in days and his eyes were bloodshot with huge bags under them. The apartment looked like the Tasmanian Devil had torn through the place while jonesing for some more meth.
My fiancée finally got him to stop crying long enough to tell us what had happened. According to him some guys from work had been giving him sh1t for some time now about never having a girlfriend, never going out, etc... so he decided to go out with a group of people from work on Friday after work. They went to a fairly small bar and were sitting around talking and drinking. At one point this girl, Melinda or Melissa(never was clear on that) came over and started talking to Andy. Admittedly he's not a bad looking guy, and I've seen this happen before when the fiancée and I managed to drag him out of the house. As the night goes on she keeps flirting with him and making it obvious that she is his if he wants her. The people he is with start giving him a hard time about taking her home and he resists. Finally he decides to leave with her because "they were teasing him so much and it was making him want to cry"
So Andy and Melinda/Melissa leave. They go out to his car and when they get in she is all over him. Kissing him, hands in the crotch, you know the usual. He says he wasn't really resisting her, but that he was uncomfortable because he knew she was going to want sex. Eventually she suggests they go to her place and he says ok. When they get there it is on. She starts getting naked and is all over him and starting to take his clothes off. During this time he starts to get upset and she asks what is wrong. He tells her that he is a virgin and "wants his first time to be special." She tells him she has always wanted to be with a virgin and that the night will be special so he relents and they have sex. During which he says he starts bawling and feeling bad about it because he doesn't really like it.
They stop for and she tells him he needs to be a man and finish the job. That was when he said he really lost it and started having a breakdown. Said he got up and started to get dressed but couldn't because he was so dizzy from being upset. Said she told him that he was a little bitch and to get the fvck out of her place. That is when he left and somehow made it home. He still isn't 100% sure how he even got home.
He says after getting home he gets out a bunch of pictures of his family and just looks at them and cries all night long. Said he doesn't remember falling to sleep but that the next morning he felt like he needed to call his mom and go home so they could take care of him. Said he called and was all upset and was telling his mom what happened and that she said it was ok and that people have sex all the time. Said he kept apologizing to her over and over again and she just told him there was nothing to apologize about and that it was normal. At some point his Dad got on the phone and told him it was no big deal. Andy says that is when he really lost it and started screaming "it is a big deal. I had sex" and finally just hung up the phone.
The next thing he remembers is being in the hospital with his entire family around him. Said they were all supportive and telling him he needed to just get better and stop worrying about doing what normal people do. Said he totally lost it again and they had to sedate him. He doesn't remember much else except that a psych nurse came to talk to him on several occasions.
Sorry this is getting so long. I know there will be posts asking for Cliff's.
So anyway he gets released and the people at the hospital tell him he had a panic attack and that he will be fine. He gets home, calls my fiancée, and thus our involvement begins.
Back to the now.
While were are there and he is telling us this he keeps crying and crying and crying. Saying that He shouldn't have had sex with this girl because he didn't love her and that it wasn't special and didn't feel good. He kept saying he had "ruined himself" now and that nobody would want him. My fiancée kept telling him that wasn't true and that he needed to stop beating himself up about it.
I asked him if he was gay and he flipped out. Started screaming "I'm not gay! Why does everyone think I'm gay?" I told him I thought he had some issues with his sexuality and he needed to deal with them. He again got mad and said he didn't have any problems. I told him that he obviously did and that he needed to do some soul searching and come to terms with himself. That just made him lose it again. He curled up into a ball on the floor and just kept crying and sobbing something about wanting to be a little boy again. Dude has some serious issues.
Needless to say this freaked my fiancée out and she got really upset with the fact that he wouldn't stop crying and was just lying there curled up on the floor. We couldn't get him to stop crying or get up off the floor so finally I told her she needed to call his parents. We managed to find their number and called them. They rushed over and started trying to get him to stop crying. They couldn't. Heck her dad and I, both pretty big guys, couldn't even get him up off the floor. We would try to pick him up and he we just start crying harder and going into convulsions. Finally his dad called one of his brothers and between the 3 of us we managed to get him off the floor and into bed.
While his mom stayed with him in the bedroom his dad wanted to talk to the fiancée and I about what had been going on. We told him and he said he didn't understand his son's reaction and that they have never given any of their children the idea that sex was dirty or bad so they don't know where they got it. I told his dad that I really thought "Andy" had issues with his sexuality that he hadn't come to terms with. To my shock his dad said "yeah, his mom and I both think he is gay and just doesn't want to admit it." My fiancée and I were really surprised when he said that. He told us that while Andy was in the hospital they tried to talk to him about it and it just made him more upset. Said they even had his sister, who he is really close to, try to talk to him about it and it just upset him so they dropped it and figured he would come to grips with it on his own time if that was the case.
My fiancée and I stuck around until nearly midnight last night. Helped clean up his apartment and would try to talk to him between his crying fits. Finally his parents managed to get him out of bed and were going to take him home. They are going to try and get him back into the psych ward today to get evaluated and see if it is a mental illness thing or just Andy not facing up to his sexuality. Who knows, but the whole thing is fvcked up.
Do I feel bad about laughing at the guy? No, still think it is damn funny. Just one of those messed up situations where you have to laugh. Feel sorry for him if it is a mental illness thing, but I honestly think he just doesn't want to admit he is gay.
Update #2
Not really much of an update, but my fiancée called his parents last night and talked to them for a bit. They have found someone to do a psych work up on him I guess. Going to do some home or office visits first(whichever he is more comfortable with I guess) and then see where that leads. She didn't get to talk to "Andy" because he has pretty much shut himself up in his old room and hasn't been doing anything but playing his old Sega and taking candlelight baths. I know, that sounds fruity and probably is, but my fiancée says he has always done that ever since they were little kids.
Update #3
His parents took him to Dallas Friday for an psych eval. Still unclear if it was at a hospital or private office. Doesn't really matter I guess. Anyway the doc suggested they start therapy asap and wants them to take him to a facility in Dallas where he can stay for a week to ten days. Fiancée didn't get a lot of info out of his mom but it sounded like the doc told them that "Andy" is possibly bi-polar and has paranoia/persecution issues when it comes to sex and intimacy. The bi-polar part I don't know about. Not a psychiatrist, but I know some bi-polar people and Andy has never acted that way.
So anyway on the drive to Dallas his mom said he was more talkative than he had been since all this went down. Said he was still apologizing for what he did, having sex, and that they kept telling him it was ok and nothing bad. Also said he kept asking them if they would be disappointed in him if he never got married or had kids. They didn't know where that came from but told him that whatever he wanted to do was ok. My fiancée thinks maybe that is coming from the fact that his sister just had a baby and everyone is making a big deal about it since it is the first grandchild.
Sorry there isn't more info.
Now on to the story.
My fiancée just called and was telling me that her friend, let's call him Andy like the 40 year old virgin, called her at work all upset and crying. Seems that he went out over the weekend, Friday night I think, and was at a bar with some friends and had a bit too much to drink, which for him means he might have smelled a beer. Seriously I've seen the guy order virgin daiquiris on numerous occasions. Anyway back to the story. So while he is "drunk" some girl picks him up and takes him home to do the nasty. He tells her he doesn't want to and just wants to go to sleep but after a while she convinces him to do the deed. As soon as it is over he wants to go home and starts crying. Then the girl is "mean to him and starts calling him a pussy" and so he gathers up his clothes and runs out of her place.
Fast forward to the next day.
Andy somehow managed to get home and wakes up in his own bed. His first thought is to call his mom and tell her what he has done. Doing so he starts to cry and is unable to keep talking to his mom and just shuts down. So after a little while his parents come over and start beating on his door, he doesn't answer so they eventually get someone to let them in. They find him in the fetal position sobbing like a schoolgirl. They finally manage to get him to come around and he begs them to take him to the hospital because he is having a nervous breakdown. They do and he spends the weekend there. Apparently he just got out and called my fiancée when he got home.
She calls me and starts telling me this and all I can do is laugh. She's not too happy with me right now but I have told her repeatedly that I think the guy is gay and he either hasn't come to terms with it or just hasn't come out yet. She is all worried and wants to go over there after work to make sure he is ok. I told her I didn't think I should go since I wouldn't be able to keep from laughing my ass off at him. To be honest I can't stop laughing and have tears running down my cheeks. So of course I had to come here and share with ATOT.
Update.
Got home last night and the fiancée was all in a tizzy about going to see her friend. She begged me to go with her so that I could "talk to him man to man" if needed. Told her that would be a problem since he apparently wasn't a man. Didn't make her too happy when I said that, but I went.
We get there and "Andy" at first doesn't want to let us in and is talking to us through the door and is obviously crying. She finally convinces him to let us in and immediately I couldn't believe what a mess he was and what a mess his apartment was.
He looked like he hadn't shaved or taken a bath in days and his eyes were bloodshot with huge bags under them. The apartment looked like the Tasmanian Devil had torn through the place while jonesing for some more meth.
My fiancée finally got him to stop crying long enough to tell us what had happened. According to him some guys from work had been giving him sh1t for some time now about never having a girlfriend, never going out, etc... so he decided to go out with a group of people from work on Friday after work. They went to a fairly small bar and were sitting around talking and drinking. At one point this girl, Melinda or Melissa(never was clear on that) came over and started talking to Andy. Admittedly he's not a bad looking guy, and I've seen this happen before when the fiancée and I managed to drag him out of the house. As the night goes on she keeps flirting with him and making it obvious that she is his if he wants her. The people he is with start giving him a hard time about taking her home and he resists. Finally he decides to leave with her because "they were teasing him so much and it was making him want to cry"
So Andy and Melinda/Melissa leave. They go out to his car and when they get in she is all over him. Kissing him, hands in the crotch, you know the usual. He says he wasn't really resisting her, but that he was uncomfortable because he knew she was going to want sex. Eventually she suggests they go to her place and he says ok. When they get there it is on. She starts getting naked and is all over him and starting to take his clothes off. During this time he starts to get upset and she asks what is wrong. He tells her that he is a virgin and "wants his first time to be special." She tells him she has always wanted to be with a virgin and that the night will be special so he relents and they have sex. During which he says he starts bawling and feeling bad about it because he doesn't really like it.
They stop for and she tells him he needs to be a man and finish the job. That was when he said he really lost it and started having a breakdown. Said he got up and started to get dressed but couldn't because he was so dizzy from being upset. Said she told him that he was a little bitch and to get the fvck out of her place. That is when he left and somehow made it home. He still isn't 100% sure how he even got home.
He says after getting home he gets out a bunch of pictures of his family and just looks at them and cries all night long. Said he doesn't remember falling to sleep but that the next morning he felt like he needed to call his mom and go home so they could take care of him. Said he called and was all upset and was telling his mom what happened and that she said it was ok and that people have sex all the time. Said he kept apologizing to her over and over again and she just told him there was nothing to apologize about and that it was normal. At some point his Dad got on the phone and told him it was no big deal. Andy says that is when he really lost it and started screaming "it is a big deal. I had sex" and finally just hung up the phone.
The next thing he remembers is being in the hospital with his entire family around him. Said they were all supportive and telling him he needed to just get better and stop worrying about doing what normal people do. Said he totally lost it again and they had to sedate him. He doesn't remember much else except that a psych nurse came to talk to him on several occasions.
Sorry this is getting so long. I know there will be posts asking for Cliff's.
So anyway he gets released and the people at the hospital tell him he had a panic attack and that he will be fine. He gets home, calls my fiancée, and thus our involvement begins.
Back to the now.
While were are there and he is telling us this he keeps crying and crying and crying. Saying that He shouldn't have had sex with this girl because he didn't love her and that it wasn't special and didn't feel good. He kept saying he had "ruined himself" now and that nobody would want him. My fiancée kept telling him that wasn't true and that he needed to stop beating himself up about it.
I asked him if he was gay and he flipped out. Started screaming "I'm not gay! Why does everyone think I'm gay?" I told him I thought he had some issues with his sexuality and he needed to deal with them. He again got mad and said he didn't have any problems. I told him that he obviously did and that he needed to do some soul searching and come to terms with himself. That just made him lose it again. He curled up into a ball on the floor and just kept crying and sobbing something about wanting to be a little boy again. Dude has some serious issues.
Needless to say this freaked my fiancée out and she got really upset with the fact that he wouldn't stop crying and was just lying there curled up on the floor. We couldn't get him to stop crying or get up off the floor so finally I told her she needed to call his parents. We managed to find their number and called them. They rushed over and started trying to get him to stop crying. They couldn't. Heck her dad and I, both pretty big guys, couldn't even get him up off the floor. We would try to pick him up and he we just start crying harder and going into convulsions. Finally his dad called one of his brothers and between the 3 of us we managed to get him off the floor and into bed.
While his mom stayed with him in the bedroom his dad wanted to talk to the fiancée and I about what had been going on. We told him and he said he didn't understand his son's reaction and that they have never given any of their children the idea that sex was dirty or bad so they don't know where they got it. I told his dad that I really thought "Andy" had issues with his sexuality that he hadn't come to terms with. To my shock his dad said "yeah, his mom and I both think he is gay and just doesn't want to admit it." My fiancée and I were really surprised when he said that. He told us that while Andy was in the hospital they tried to talk to him about it and it just made him more upset. Said they even had his sister, who he is really close to, try to talk to him about it and it just upset him so they dropped it and figured he would come to grips with it on his own time if that was the case.
My fiancée and I stuck around until nearly midnight last night. Helped clean up his apartment and would try to talk to him between his crying fits. Finally his parents managed to get him out of bed and were going to take him home. They are going to try and get him back into the psych ward today to get evaluated and see if it is a mental illness thing or just Andy not facing up to his sexuality. Who knows, but the whole thing is fvcked up.
Do I feel bad about laughing at the guy? No, still think it is damn funny. Just one of those messed up situations where you have to laugh. Feel sorry for him if it is a mental illness thing, but I honestly think he just doesn't want to admit he is gay.
Update #2
Not really much of an update, but my fiancée called his parents last night and talked to them for a bit. They have found someone to do a psych work up on him I guess. Going to do some home or office visits first(whichever he is more comfortable with I guess) and then see where that leads. She didn't get to talk to "Andy" because he has pretty much shut himself up in his old room and hasn't been doing anything but playing his old Sega and taking candlelight baths. I know, that sounds fruity and probably is, but my fiancée says he has always done that ever since they were little kids.
Update #3
His parents took him to Dallas Friday for an psych eval. Still unclear if it was at a hospital or private office. Doesn't really matter I guess. Anyway the doc suggested they start therapy asap and wants them to take him to a facility in Dallas where he can stay for a week to ten days. Fiancée didn't get a lot of info out of his mom but it sounded like the doc told them that "Andy" is possibly bi-polar and has paranoia/persecution issues when it comes to sex and intimacy. The bi-polar part I don't know about. Not a psychiatrist, but I know some bi-polar people and Andy has never acted that way.
So anyway on the drive to Dallas his mom said he was more talkative than he had been since all this went down. Said he was still apologizing for what he did, having sex, and that they kept telling him it was ok and nothing bad. Also said he kept asking them if they would be disappointed in him if he never got married or had kids. They didn't know where that came from but told him that whatever he wanted to do was ok. My fiancée thinks maybe that is coming from the fact that his sister just had a baby and everyone is making a big deal about it since it is the first grandchild.
Sorry there isn't more info.