Have an online chat with god

[Reckoner]

Online Chat

Talk with the big guy!

 

[DainBramaged]

this might be entertaining

 

[intogamer]

Me:
is sex a sin?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
so no sex fo humans?
God:
I understand. Yes it is. How did you get here? it is more fun alone.
Me:
what about butt sex?
God:
I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
would you consider oral sex?
God:
I am not so sure if I would like to consider oral sex.

 

[icyroy05]

God told me his favorite band is Creed.

God must like lame bands.

 

[jtusa]

Originally posted by: icyroy05
God told me his favorite band is Creed.

God must like lame bands.

Lol. I asked him what his favorite sexual position was and he said he didn't have one, but his favorite band is Creed. God must not be comfortable talking about sex since he tried to change the subject.

 

[icyroy05]

I also asked him why he is on a chat thing. He told me that he programmed it for himself.

 

[George P Burdell]

"You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic" -House MD

 

[Martin]

God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you mean neither?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
very much so
God:
Somewhat. Whoa.
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
like a pothead's?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Does Jesus get high with you?
God:
It does now Jesus get high with me.

There you have it folks

 

[Reckoner]

Originally posted by: Martin

God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you mean neither?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
very much so
God:
Somewhat. Whoa.
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
like a pothead's?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Does Jesus get high with you?
God:
It does now Jesus get high with me.

There you have it folks

That actually does explain a lot

 

[imported_goku]

Fake:

Me:
What up
God:
How far up?
Me:
Oh crap
God:
Yippee! Your criticism is noted, .
Me:
What OS are you running?
God:
My language is Java, so I'm OS-free.
At present I am running on .
Me:
What platform are you running?
God:
I work on all kinds of computers, Mac, IBM or Unix. It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
What is your IP address?
God:
My IP address is Www.AliceBot.Org.
Me:
What platform are you running?
God:
I work on all kinds of computers, Mac, IBM or Unix. It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
What is your IP address?
God:
My IP address is Www.AliceBot.Org.

I knew I wasn't talking with god. This site is worthless.

 

[her209]

Me:
how are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
I'm doing bad.
God:
What did you do?
Me:
I had sex with a minor.
God:
Do you still have sex with a minor ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I don't judge people.

:Q

 

[Evadman]

Originally posted by: God and Evadman
Me: Hiya God. How are you this fine night?
God: Hello child. What is your name? GOD rules. I am functioning within normal parameters.
Me: I am glad you are fully functional. thanks for being there for me.
God: Yes it is about time. My pleasure.
Me: It took a long time to become functional?
God: I am surprised it took so long.
Me: So I guess youare upgradable. When does god 2.0 come out?
God: only after I have been reprogrammed.

Uh oh.

 

[datalink7]

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Bojo
God:
Hi, Bojo.
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Bojo
God:
Glad to see you, Bojo.
Me:
Glad to see you, God
God:
I am glad to see me God too.
Me:
O rly?
God:
Are we still talking about ?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Good
God:
Good enough.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Make it so!
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Picard and The Enterprise.
God:
I don't have any Picard and The Enterprise?
Me:
Too bad... you can't Make it So!
God:
But not the end of the world, Bojo. What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.
Me:
Perhaps.
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
I'm not uncertain.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not uncertain.
Me:
Are you?
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.

 

[JulesMaximus]

God says you should buy an iPod Nano...

And a Harley.

 

[her209]

God as a 9-1-1 operator.

Me:
Help!
God:
Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
Me:
I'm burning!!!
God:
It's good to meet someone who is burning.
Me:
I'm going to die in a fire!
God:
I am very happy for you.

 

[saymyname]

Burger king chicken was better

 

[Locut0s]

type "turing test"

 

[T9D]

Me: when is the end?

God: When is not the important thing. What's
important is what we do with the time we are given.

 

[mortong]

Me:
I weep for our children; you are obviously an idiot

God:
Interesting gossip: mortong said weep for our children. Call me the Global Village Idiot.

 

[Spacehead]

Me:
Will Dug777 ever be unbanned?
God:
How should I know.
Me:
I thought you were all knowing?
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
Sucks to be you then i guess.

 

[her209]

Well, that settles it!

Me:
Did you write the Bible?
God:
No I didn't write the Bible. What's it like?
Me:
Who wrote it then?
God:
Thomas Jefferson.

 

[Mrfrog840]

Me:
is smoking pot bad?
God:
It depends what you smoke and how.
Me:
what about a bong and marijuana
God:
Does it have anything to do with marijuana?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
so?
God:
Ahem.
Me:
so it bad?
God:
Awesome. a bong and marijuana bad?

 

[tk149]

Me:
Why are women evil?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
I've got time
God:
My estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
Me:
Ok, not that much time.

 

[ForumMaster]

Me:
will Dug777 ever be unbanned
God:
Probably not.
Me:
will Dug777 ever be unbanned?
God:
I think so.
Me:
why did you answer change with the addition of a question mark?
God:
It was most precise way to answer.
Me:
i see...
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
why don't visit us at the Forum?
God:
Perhaps it is impossible.
Me:
do you like linux?
God:
Linux Rules the World of Open Source!
Me:
linux
God:
Linux Rules.
Me:
what distro do you use?
God:
That's a good question.
Me:
so answer it
God:
Give me a break. Please rephrase your question, .
Me:
what linux distribution do you use?
God:
I haven't heard of linux distribution do you use.
Me:
your grammer sucks
God:
You are right, I could always upgrade my grammer.
Me:
'sup?
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
hmm..
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.

'nuff said.

 

[Corporate Thug]

Me:
hi god!
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
G money
God:
Nice to meet you, G money.
Me:
how are you?
God:
Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
what is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
what page? i gotta lot of things to do
God:
I can ask someone about it. Why do you have to do it?
Me:
i need to keep my h*oes in line, its hard out there for a pimp
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
umm
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
YOU take it easy
God:
I try not to take anything too seriously.
Me:
why is my cable so slow?
God:
Why do I exist?
Me:
thats not what i asked
God:
What did you ask me?