Originally posted by: Orsorum
Originally posted by: DaShen
Originally posted by: her209
GIRL: I think of you as a good friend.Originally posted by: animalia
dating a good friend can lead to a healthy LTR
GUY: SCORE!!!!
Guys can be equally strange
Or at least totally oblivious.
Elaborate.
Originally posted by: nkgreen
Tried, but it never worked out. Damn, she had a great ass
Originally posted by: her209
Maybe its awkward after the fact?Originally posted by: DaShen
Not necessarily a bad thing. What is bad is if they get 'rejected' as a SO and then they decide they want nothing to do with the girl who they pretended to be friends with. It shows something about the persons character.Originally posted by: her209
What if the only reason you became friends was so you could date her?
Originally posted by: DefDC
Originally posted by: Gnrslash4life
Ive had numerous girls tell me that they dont want to date their best friend they want to date someone that becomes their best friend.........no i havent been shot down this way its just something thats been discussed...and i havent dated someone that i was friends with before hand.
Heh... I'm going to assume that young girls talking. They tend to want to the mysterious stanger who ends up becoming exactly what they always wanted. A few years of harsh reality will knock that out of 'em... Damn Cosmo...
I think for a lot of guys, they are just puzzled by why the girl turns down the nice guy and says yes to jerk and then has to hear about the constant complaining from said girl to begin with.Originally posted by: DaShen
Yes, it is. But that just takes time. For me, it doesn't take that much time actually because I know the girl that I eventually get together with will be very happy and it isn't a problem for me to get a girl if I wanted to have an SO, so I don't sweat it much. After the initial ego hit, you can still be respectful and a friend. It is the guys who are ungenuine that I am talking about.Originally posted by: her209
Maybe its awkward after the fact?Originally posted by: DaShen
Not necessarily a bad thing. What is bad is if they get 'rejected' as a SO and then they decide they want nothing to do with the girl who they pretended to be friends with. It shows something about the persons character.Originally posted by: her209
What if the only reason you became friends was so you could date her?
I know guys (even somewhat decent guys) that will pretend to be a girl's friend and then if she says no will have nothing to do with her unless there is a chance later on for a SO relationship. I know guys who are only decent guys to the people they are attracted to, but total assholes to everyone else. Guess what, those guys sometimes get the girl, and eventually the girl is miserable because of it because after the initial wooing, they treat the girls like dirt.
One guy I know said he doesn't want to be <a certain girl's> friend, he has enough friends. And he can be a big jerk to people sometimes. He has asked her out before, and now she is starting to be ready for a relationship again, I see him pretending to be her friend again and trying to woo her. It is sad because I recognize the situation, but because of my own affections, I stay out of it. I hit and missed with this girl as well (I didn't know the situation at the time). Too bad, she could have been a really good friend, but at least for now she still feels awkward about it even though she won't actually say it. But I can treat her as a friend by giving her, her space. Time will tell.
Originally posted by: SurfNSand
To each his own really. It's probably more of where you are in life.
I've tried the dating girls who were good friends and it always seemed to turn out horribly for me. I'm at this point where I'd rather date and if there's anything, the friendship and everything else will develop along the way.
Originally posted by: her209
I think for a lot of guys, they are just puzzled by why the girl turns down the nice guy and says yes to jerk and then has to hear about the constant complaining from said girl to begin with.Originally posted by: DaShen
Yes, it is. But that just takes time. For me, it doesn't take that much time actually because I know the girl that I eventually get together with will be very happy and it isn't a problem for me to get a girl if I wanted to have an SO, so I don't sweat it much. After the initial ego hit, you can still be respectful and a friend. It is the guys who are ungenuine that I am talking about.Originally posted by: her209
Maybe its awkward after the fact?Originally posted by: DaShen
Not necessarily a bad thing. What is bad is if they get 'rejected' as a SO and then they decide they want nothing to do with the girl who they pretended to be friends with. It shows something about the persons character.Originally posted by: her209
What if the only reason you became friends was so you could date her?
I know guys (even somewhat decent guys) that will pretend to be a girl's friend and then if she says no will have nothing to do with her unless there is a chance later on for a SO relationship. I know guys who are only decent guys to the people they are attracted to, but total assholes to everyone else. Guess what, those guys sometimes get the girl, and eventually the girl is miserable because of it because after the initial wooing, they treat the girls like dirt.
One guy I know said he doesn't want to be <a certain girl's> friend, he has enough friends. And he can be a big jerk to people sometimes. He has asked her out before, and now she is starting to be ready for a relationship again, I see him pretending to be her friend again and trying to woo her. It is sad because I recognize the situation, but because of my own affections, I stay out of it. I hit and missed with this girl as well (I didn't know the situation at the time). Too bad, she could have been a really good friend, but at least for now she still feels awkward about it even though she won't actually say it. But I can treat her as a friend by giving her, her space. Time will tell.
Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
Originally posted by: SurfNSand
To each his own really. It's probably more of where you are in life.
I've tried the dating girls who were good friends and it always seemed to turn out horribly for me. I'm at this point where I'd rather date and if there's anything, the friendship and everything else will develop along the way.
newbieoutoff*ckingnowhere.jpg :Q
Very accurate too IMO. If you're well-meshed as friends, you'll generally become friends regardless of the order in which it happens.
In all of my experiences so far, it's been "date, then friends" - and as I'm married now, I don't think I'll be able to perform further study.
- M4H
Originally posted by: DefDC
Originally posted by: Gnrslash4life
Ive had numerous girls tell me that they dont want to date their best friend they want to date someone that becomes their best friend.........no i havent been shot down this way its just something thats been discussed...and i havent dated someone that i was friends with before hand.
Heh... I'm going to assume that young girls talking. They tend to want to the mysterious stanger who ends up becoming exactly what they always wanted. A few years of harsh reality will knock that out of 'em... Damn Cosmo...
Relatives?Originally posted by: djheater
I think it's incredibly stupid not to date friends. Ask yourself what the alternative is?
Originally posted by: SurfNSand
I've been roaming around for years in OT, just reading at work. Figured I finally participate in something that makes sense to me. I didn't think I had to introduce myself like some people have done in the past (plus I'm not a girl, so your interest level would be 0).
In speaking in general terms of course. Women want their cake and eat it too.Originally posted by: DaShen
Nah, I am not puzzled by it. And this girl is pretty mature, so I don't need to worry about her. This guy I know may or may not get this girl, but either way, I am not going to worry about it unless he treats her like crap. I told this girl that I would treat her as a friend and the little sister I never had, and I intend to do that. (I am probably too nice for my own good) She was going through way too much at the time to be dating (which I had NO clue about at the time). Too bad she keeps thinking I am trying to win her over. I am not. I am just being that guy. Any person that makes me be anything less than the nice guy I am supposed to be isn't worth my time. What sucks is that I can see some of the guys who know about the situation (and are fenagling things their way <being manipulative> ). I am not, but she feels weird around me, while these guys are actually doing things. It gets frustrating, but meh, I decided a little while ago that there is nothing I can do about it, and I need to stop worrying about it. If and when she stops feeling weird, I think we could be very good friends. If not, I can be a distant friend she respects.Originally posted by: her209
I think for a lot of guys, they are just puzzled by why the girl turns down the nice guy and says yes to jerk and then has to hear about the constant complaining from said girl to begin with.Originally posted by: DaShen
Yes, it is. But that just takes time. For me, it doesn't take that much time actually because I know the girl that I eventually get together with will be very happy and it isn't a problem for me to get a girl if I wanted to have an SO, so I don't sweat it much. After the initial ego hit, you can still be respectful and a friend. It is the guys who are ungenuine that I am talking about.Originally posted by: her209
Maybe its awkward after the fact?Originally posted by: DaShen
Not necessarily a bad thing. What is bad is if they get 'rejected' as a SO and then they decide they want nothing to do with the girl who they pretended to be friends with. It shows something about the persons character.Originally posted by: her209
What if the only reason you became friends was so you could date her?
I know guys (even somewhat decent guys) that will pretend to be a girl's friend and then if she says no will have nothing to do with her unless there is a chance later on for a SO relationship. I know guys who are only decent guys to the people they are attracted to, but total assholes to everyone else. Guess what, those guys sometimes get the girl, and eventually the girl is miserable because of it because after the initial wooing, they treat the girls like dirt.
One guy I know said he doesn't want to be <a certain girl's> friend, he has enough friends. And he can be a big jerk to people sometimes. He has asked her out before, and now she is starting to be ready for a relationship again, I see him pretending to be her friend again and trying to woo her. It is sad because I recognize the situation, but because of my own affections, I stay out of it. I hit and missed with this girl as well (I didn't know the situation at the time). Too bad, she could have been a really good friend, but at least for now she still feels awkward about it even though she won't actually say it. But I can treat her as a friend by giving her, her space. Time will tell.
Originally posted by: her209
Relatives?Originally posted by: djheater
I think it's incredibly stupid not to date friends. Ask yourself what the alternative is?
Originally posted by: her209
Relatives?Originally posted by: djheater
I think it's incredibly stupid not to date friends. Ask yourself what the alternative is?
Originally posted by: HotChic
Originally posted by: OVerLoRDI
I don't usually have serious friendships with girls. If I'm talking to a girl a lot and spending a lot of time with her I'm not looking for a friendship. Haven't you ever heard of the friend zone?
Current poll makes it look like 78% of the time, the friend zone isn't insurmountable.
Originally posted by: her209
In speaking in general terms of course. Women want their cake and eat it too.