In case you want a soundtrack to this thread (hope and optimism below).
It was 1984. I was in a bar with a gregarious friend. Ronald Reagan was on his way to beating Mondale in a landslide, even here in California, a state he of course governed. This would occasionally, hilariously play on the bar’s big CRT’s between the dance beats. Life was good and gay in the original sense of the word, maybe not politically, except for Tip. I kept catching the eye of a tall, dark stud, taller than my 6’4” self. We talked and had an instant connection. We began an 8.5 year odyssey together (that’s 59.5 in straight years).
He was a Reagan Republican through and through.
Paul was from Little Rock and was steeped in conservatism, holding tight to the propaganda he grew up with. I met his mom later who came out to meet me. We were outside under trees that threw dancing shadows on the patio of a popular restaurant. She started lamenting that the blacks were moving into her neighborhood back in Arkansas. Bless her hateful heart - I wasn't shocked. Paul knew that my divorced mom, whom he had great respect for, was dating a black man. He was embarrassed beyond words.
Paul and I didn’t talk politics much in the beginning, neither one of us wanted to offend. But sometimes I would say things like [paraphrasing], “What do you think of the thinly veiled, covert schemes and proxy wars we’re fighting in Central America (I was going to protests, chanting “USA out of Nicaragua!” at Armed Forces Day parades), or, why do you think it took The Gipper so long to even mention AIDS?” Later, after he switched sides, we’d talk about the Iran-Contra revelations, and how Reagan seemed to be losing his mind, and thank God he had Nancy there.
Unwittingly I had planted a seed. He still talks about how I “switched” him. I always say, “No Paul, you saw through all the BS, you found truth.” He now looks at many of our leaders up on their pedestals in disdain and wonders how the hell they got where they are, as do I. Edit: You mean I didn't win at vote, again?
In ‘94, a couple of years after Paul and I split, I met a man from rural Washington. Again an instant connection. Again a conservative. Again taller than I, but a blonde. This time I was a bit bolder, and challenged him sometimes on his unsubstantiated hate toward Clinton. It was hard for him as he realized that Clinton was a genius despite his flaws. A thriving economy, pretty high taxes at the top, a balanced budget, a surplus even, and lies about blowjobs, an attempt to redefine the word “is.” Where is the moral high ground?
This new man turned out to have severe problems with horrid behavior, and I left him after six years of trying to make it work. He’s a true blue democrat though, relegated to my memory; as a non-drinker we don’t fit, never did, even as friends.
In 2010, after ten years of being single, I met Eljon [and this]. A non-drinker. Like finding a needle in an entire field of hay. We were politically aligned from the start. We’d talk about Rachel Maddow’s latest revelation, the way she fit things together, her wit with teeth and its truthful bite.
I don’t take pride in any of this; I’m well aware that we can’t change others and shouldn’t try. And I love awakenings, the truth of it all coming into focus, like the curtains that used to part before a great movie lit up the screen. Eyes open for what’s next.
[Paul's name is not real, but he was/is]
It was 1984. I was in a bar with a gregarious friend. Ronald Reagan was on his way to beating Mondale in a landslide, even here in California, a state he of course governed. This would occasionally, hilariously play on the bar’s big CRT’s between the dance beats. Life was good and gay in the original sense of the word, maybe not politically, except for Tip. I kept catching the eye of a tall, dark stud, taller than my 6’4” self. We talked and had an instant connection. We began an 8.5 year odyssey together (that’s 59.5 in straight years).
He was a Reagan Republican through and through.
Paul was from Little Rock and was steeped in conservatism, holding tight to the propaganda he grew up with. I met his mom later who came out to meet me. We were outside under trees that threw dancing shadows on the patio of a popular restaurant. She started lamenting that the blacks were moving into her neighborhood back in Arkansas. Bless her hateful heart - I wasn't shocked. Paul knew that my divorced mom, whom he had great respect for, was dating a black man. He was embarrassed beyond words.
Paul and I didn’t talk politics much in the beginning, neither one of us wanted to offend. But sometimes I would say things like [paraphrasing], “What do you think of the thinly veiled, covert schemes and proxy wars we’re fighting in Central America (I was going to protests, chanting “USA out of Nicaragua!” at Armed Forces Day parades), or, why do you think it took The Gipper so long to even mention AIDS?” Later, after he switched sides, we’d talk about the Iran-Contra revelations, and how Reagan seemed to be losing his mind, and thank God he had Nancy there.
Unwittingly I had planted a seed. He still talks about how I “switched” him. I always say, “No Paul, you saw through all the BS, you found truth.” He now looks at many of our leaders up on their pedestals in disdain and wonders how the hell they got where they are, as do I. Edit: You mean I didn't win at vote, again?
In ‘94, a couple of years after Paul and I split, I met a man from rural Washington. Again an instant connection. Again a conservative. Again taller than I, but a blonde. This time I was a bit bolder, and challenged him sometimes on his unsubstantiated hate toward Clinton. It was hard for him as he realized that Clinton was a genius despite his flaws. A thriving economy, pretty high taxes at the top, a balanced budget, a surplus even, and lies about blowjobs, an attempt to redefine the word “is.” Where is the moral high ground?
This new man turned out to have severe problems with horrid behavior, and I left him after six years of trying to make it work. He’s a true blue democrat though, relegated to my memory; as a non-drinker we don’t fit, never did, even as friends.
In 2010, after ten years of being single, I met Eljon [and this]. A non-drinker. Like finding a needle in an entire field of hay. We were politically aligned from the start. We’d talk about Rachel Maddow’s latest revelation, the way she fit things together, her wit with teeth and its truthful bite.
I don’t take pride in any of this; I’m well aware that we can’t change others and shouldn’t try. And I love awakenings, the truth of it all coming into focus, like the curtains that used to part before a great movie lit up the screen. Eyes open for what’s next.
[Paul's name is not real, but he was/is]
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