Have you seen instances where parents really wanted their children to date?

[Locut0s]

I know for a fact that I am certainly not the only socially awkward late 20s guy who hasn't dated. Certainly it's not the norm but I know others as well. And I know there are girls in the same situation. BTW don't bother asking if you don't know my situation already, I've posted enough about that here that most should know At any rate I have of course confided in my family about my issues and my father would really like to see me out there picking up some girls. He doesn't mean go crazy or anything certainly but he'd like to see it. I know this isn't really an unusual view for a parent to have but it doesn't feel a little akward as well. Does anyone else know familys, or family members who have pushed their children, yeah I'm certinaly not a child at this point I know, to 'date'? And know he's not worried I'm gay or anything.

Not this has nothing to do with wanting grandkids or anything like that. He wants to see it for my own emotional and social well being. GFs and sex being obviously an important part of life in general. He worries that I will have regrets later in life if I don't start to get off the ground now. All of these thing ARE TRUE OF COURSE! I want these things too of course it just feels a little odd to have a parent who is pushing you to go for these things too.

Note: Watching Black Swan recently brought a lot of these things to the surface. Good film btw, though not Aronofsky's best.

 

[gophins72]

yes, for non-whites, usually around mid twenties, or after they graduate college in the worst case.

in the earliest case (whites/traditional), i've seen it as having a "cute" boyfriend or girlfriend in elementary school. but obviously nothing "serious".

as far as pressure, it happens more as you get older since the parents want grandkids, etc. it is a little better if you have siblings that can share the pressure though

 

[HeXen]

i would find it odd if any parent who had a child in their 20's didnt push for them to date...probably want to keep the ol gene pool going kinda thing.

 

[Locut0s]

yes, for non-whites, usually around mid twenties, or after they graduate college in the worst case.

in the earliest case (whites/traditional), i've seen it as having a "cute" boyfriend or girlfriend in elementary school. but obviously nothing "serious".

as far as pressure, it happens more as you get older since the parents want grandkids, etc. it is a little better if you have siblings that can share the pressure though

Nothing like that in this case. I'm 1/2 White 1/2 Chinese but my father is the White one. He wasn't to see it for my own emotional and social well being. GFs and sex being obviously an important part of life in general. I want these things too of course it just feels a little odd to have a parent who is pushing you to go for these things too.

 

[Jadow]

you haven't dated, but you've gotten laid right? How do you know you're not gay until you take a woman for a test drive and see how she feels.

You're probably gay. It's OK

 

[Eli]

Dude, just do it. Quit thinking about it and do it. If I can pick up women, anybody can.. lol.

Try something like Plentyoffish.com(or hell, fling.com), send a few genuine messages to women you're attracted to and see where it goes. You will be surprised...

 

[Locut0s]

you haven't dated, but you've gotten laid right? How do you know you're not gay until you take a woman for a test drive and see how she feels.

You're probably gay. It's OK

Nope not laid yet. How do I know I'm not gay. Hmm let's see all I watch is straight porn and that's the only thing that turns me on? I'm constantly looking at cute girls and never at guys?

I'd be OK with being GAY too, so would my family. I just am not interested in that.

 

[Jadow]

I was just messing with you. Go with ELI's suggestion. Also, in all seriousness it might take some of the pressure off if you did just get laid. Find some skank in person or online and just get it done, heck pay if you got to.

After that, you can begin looking for a GF

 

[Dominato3r]

Dude, just do it. Quit thinking about it and do it. If I can pick up women, anybody can.. lol.

Try something like Plentyoffish.com(or hell, fling.com), send a few genuine messages to women you're attracted to and see where it goes. You will be surprised...

With STDs?

:hmm:

edit: or with traps?

D:

 

[Eli]

Nope not laid yet. How do I know I'm not gay. Hmm let's see all I watch is straight porn and that's the only thing that turns me on? I'm constantly looking at cute girls and never at guys?

I'd be OK with being GAY too, so would my family. I just am not interested in that.

Holy shit. Where do you live? Unless you're in the Arctic, I could probably have three women texting you within two hours. lol..

Are you waiting for something serious, or the opportunity just hasn't presented itself?

 

[Locut0s]

Dude, just do it. Quit thinking about it and do it. If I can pick up women, anybody can.. lol.

Try something like Plentyoffish.com(or hell, fling.com), send a few genuine messages to women you're attracted to and see where it goes. You will be surprised...

Are you socially awkward in some way?

I don't have much doubt that I could do it if I were in the right mind frame. I don't look all that bad, need to loose a few pounds, and I'm not the super nerdy type either. And I've even had a few women, 4 or 5 I can think of off the top of my head, come on to me.

 

[SandEagle]

you're a nice guy. i'm sure with your skills you can pull ass left and right.



























like this:

 

[gophins72]

do you have a friend that is a girl around your age that would bonk you or hook you up? a lot of guys i knew got a lot of dates thru setups thru their sisters/female family friends around their age.

 

[Eli]

With STDs?

:hmm:

edit: or with traps?

D:

LOL

Nah. Just have to be careful. I'll admit to having a few..flings.. on fling. Nothing wrong with consensual sex. Again, just have to be careful. Wrap it.

 

[Locut0s]

you're a nice guy. i'm sure with your skills you can pull ass left and right.

I actually don't doubt that I could, technically. As I said I don't look bad and I've had a few women come on to me. I know that in the right situation I am an interesting person to talk to and I have a good sense of humour.

 

[SandEagle]

I actually don't doubt that I could, technically. As I said I don't look bad and I've had a few women come on to me. I know that in the right situation I am an interesting person to talk to and I have a good sense of humour.

i'm not sure what you're talking about. i was inferring that you can pull bales of hay and buckets of water on the back of a donkey.

 

[CVSiN]

holy freaking crap.. and I thought my GFs son had issues and hes only 19 and hasnt been laid.

dude.. seriously.. go out and turn off the computer..
getting laid is easy.. its finding a soulmate thats hard..

 

[Locut0s]

i'm not sure what you're talking about. i was inferring that you can pull bales of hay and buckets of water on the back of a donkey.

Yes I knew that. I'm not really replying to you.

 

[Kadarin]

Have you seen instances where parents really wanted their children to date?

Yes. It's usually either a matter of the parents wanting their kids to be normal or wanting grandchildren.

 

[Jeff7]

Yeah, I'm in that age group and situation too. (Surprise, surprise, I'm at ATOT too.)

Anytime I talk to my parents on the phone, the subject of getting a girlfriend comes up. No way around it.

Forums like this are about as comfortable as I get around people. It's a social environment without any sort of requirements with respect to time invested.
Time spent at work in the vicinity of others leaves me really wanting to just be alone and away from people by the end of the day. Being sociable in person is draining. I'd be perfectly fine walking in the door at work and going to my desk without saying so much as a word to anyone, or looking up to make eye contact, or any of that stuff. But I know it's kind of expected, and engaging in those sorts of things tends to mitigate negative reactions which otherwise result, so I just do the acting and get it over with. I just don't strike me as a fun sort to be around for any extended period of time.

And thusly, here I am.



Also...this seems relevant to the thread.

 

[zerocool84]

Yes. It's usually either a matter of the parents wanting their kids to be normal

lol

 

[Locut0s]

Yeah, I'm in that age group and situation too. (Surprise, surprise, I'm at ATOT too.)

Anytime I talk to my parents on the phone, the subject of getting a girlfriend comes up. No way around it.

Forums like this are about as comfortable as I get around people. It's a social environment without any sort of requirements with respect to time invested.
Time spent at work in the vicinity of others leaves me really wanting to just be alone and away from people by the end of the day. Being sociable in person is draining. I'd be perfectly fine walking in the door at work and going to my desk without saying so much as a word to anyone, or looking up to make eye contact, or any of that stuff. But I know it's kind of expected, and engaging in those sorts of things tends to mitigate negative reactions which otherwise result, so I just do the acting and get it over with. I just don't strike me as a fun sort to be around for any extended period of time.

And thusly, here I am.



Also...this seems relevant to the thread.

Lol. Though for me it has nothing to do with wanting grandkids. Are you asian? Can't remember.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

Hey I'm a socially akward mofo, probably 10x worse than you. I can't be around people at all. I got a good looking wife somehow. You're nearing 30 dude. Its now or never. You've missed out on a lot of shit already. Don't live with the regret this will end up causing you if you don't even try. Women are just people too. I know how terrifying they can be for weirdos like ourselves but you've got to overcome that.

 

[Locut0s]

Hey I'm a socially akward mofo, probably 10x worse than you. I can't be around people at all. I got a good looking wife somehow. You're nearing 30 dude. Its now or never. You've missed out on a lot of shit already. Don't live with the regret this will end up causing you if you don't even try. Women are just people too. I know how terrifying they can be for weirdos like ourselves but you've got to overcome that.

Thanks. Though strangely enough I don't actually come across as a weirdo IRL.

 

[OILFIELDTRASH]

You have not lived yet til you've experienced the love of a woman. Whatever you've got to do fucking get over it!