Have you seen instances where parents really wanted their children to date?

[zerocool84]

Thanks. Though strangely enough I don't actually come across as a weirdo IRL.

Are you sure about that? If you haven't even gone out on a date with someone, there must be something pushing away the opposite sex.

 

[Perknose]

I actually don't doubt that I could, technically.

No doubt true theoretically but . . . wake up and smell the overdue coffee. There will always be that pesky gap between thinking you can and actually doing it. Until you face your fears, which you are minimizing here, head-on, you will remain dead in the water while life goes rushing by.

You're an intelligent and not unattractive late twenties guy living at home. There IS a problem and, for your own good, you need to address it. And . . . DON'T let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Go to some speed dating events and promise yourself that you will follow through and attempt to hook up with the top three babes you encounter, no matter what! It doesn't have to end in sex, it's the basic socializing you need to get the hang of. This only comes from DOING!

I know that in the right situation I am an interesting person to talk to and I have a good sense of humour.

No doubt. You display a nuanced and layered intelligence here that puts in an upper percentile for such (key) traits. Now go USE them wit de wimmins!

 

[Locut0s]

Are you sure about that? If you haven't even gone out on a date with someone, there must be something pushing away the opposite sex.

Yeah I'm sure. The reason is that I just don't go out, ever really. Nothing is pushing them away so much as I never give myself an opportunity to meet anyone. I'm not saying I'm normal. I'm saying I don't come across as abnormal in person.

 

[gophins72]

i still think you should go to amsterdam, then see the rest of europe, come home, get a place to rent, finish your degree.

 

[Dominato3r]

Vancouver has a pretty good night life, why don't you go out or something? Late 20's and not having dating is... not right.

 

[CVSiN]

Thanks. Though strangely enough I don't actually come across as a weirdo IRL.

a late 20s virgin will always come off as strange... In a world where most teens lose their virginity early in HS or the late bloomers in college.

lack of social events obviously and when you do you obviously show up dateless.. and I'm guessing you dont talk about women with your male friends which also sets yourself up to be strange by others..

sorry but to normal people that is weird..

Seriously I don't understand how is this even possible unless you have some belief (religious or other) that prevents you from just dating and screwing for fun..
even shy guys get laid.. if they at least go out..

Myself I wont lie.. I kinda shy.. but I do fine if I have a friend with me that can help me break the ice.. after that I'm cool.. maybe you should try that.

 

[ahenkel]

My mom is pretty desperate for a grandkid so she bugs my siblings and I a lot to get someone knocked up or get knocked up. Although I could probably steal a baby and she'd be ok with it.

 

[SandEagle]

do you have cool friends to hang out with? how about an expensive car? that'll drop a girl's self-esteem down by at least 10 points. then, make your move. i really should write a book.

 

[Jeff7]

Lol. Though for me it has nothing to do with wanting grandkids. Are you asian? Can't remember.

Nope, I'm just about as white as you can get without having transparent skin.

My sister knows someone who's Asian though.

 

[lxskllr]

Are you sure you want yo hook up with a chick? I mean really sure? Maybe you don't, and your just trying to live up to what society expects of you. Only you can really answer that, and if it turns out you really don't want to hook up with a chick, there's nothing wrong with that. It puts you outside of what people consider normal, but who cares what people think? You gotta do what'll make you happy, and not conform to other's expectations.

 

[gophins72]

oh, one very important thing. i think you read you wanted to go into computer science or something as a degree. take care of all women stuff before you do that, trust me.

 

[zerocool84]

Are you sure you want yo hook up with a chick? I mean really sure? Maybe you don't, and your just trying to live up to what society expects of you. Only you can really answer that, and if it turns out you really don't want to hook up with a chick, there's nothing wrong with that. It puts you outside of what people consider normal, but who cares what people think? You gotta do what'll make you happy, and not conform to other's expectations.

It's not doing what humans are meant to do, what any mammal is meant to do. Not wanting to marry is different and goes with what you're saying but not even wanting sex or any sexual contact is abnormal.

 

[lxskllr]

It's not doing what humans are meant to do, what any mammal is meant to do. Not wanting to marry is different and goes with what you're saying but not even wanting sex or any sexual contact is abnormal.

A lot of things are abnormal, but relationships are one of the things people give others a bunch of shit over cause it's more visible. Normal, abnormal, it doesn't matter in the end as long as your happy.

 

[CVSiN]

how does he know he's happy with his status if hes a virgin?

getting laid could change him drastically..
give him the confidence he needs.

 

[Locut0s]

i still think you should go to amsterdam, then see the rest of europe, come home, get a place to rent, finish your degree.

Likely will do something like this. Definitely going to finish a degree. And I DO plan on travelling on my own! What order I do these things in isn't clear a.t.m. I have seem much of Europe and been to Amsterdam but that was with my parents. I've been eyeing Japan for a trip on my own.

 

[Locut0s]

a late 20s virgin will always come off as strange... In a world where most teens lose their virginity early in HS or the late bloomers in college.

lack of social events obviously and when you do you obviously show up dateless.. and I'm guessing you dont talk about women with your male friends which also sets yourself up to be strange by others..

sorry but to normal people that is weird..

Seriously I don't understand how is this even possible unless you have some belief (religious or other) that prevents you from just dating and screwing for fun..
even shy guys get laid.. if they at least go out..

Myself I wont lie.. I kinda shy.. but I do fine if I have a friend with me that can help me break the ice.. after that I'm cool.. maybe you should try that.

Bingo there is the thing. I just don't go out. I go to work talk with colleagues and friends there then come back home. Always been that way my whole life. Go to school, come back home. Done. It's not that I don't want to change, I certainly do. But hay 28 years of doing that doesn't exactly build confidence. Then there's the issue of having clinical depression, been diagnosed and been on meds. In normal situations I really do come across as relatively normal though. I'm not the hyper nerd who can't talk about anything but WoW and what level his character is at. I'm fairly good at engaging people in conversation actually and have a good sense of humour. I just completely freeze up if anything goes beyond casual conversation.

 

[dighn]

shit i don't want to admit it but I'm in a similar situation. frankly it's never really bothered me until last year as I approached 27 years of age. it's like a switch flipped in my mind (pretty late yeah I know) and now it's bothering me, a lot. probably also had something to do with the fact that my parents tried to arrange a marriage (or more accurately a friend of theirs tried to). before you laugh, that's normal in chinese culture. yes I'm asian, neither FOB nor twinkie. suppose it's time to grow up, though my decision to return to school for a career change adds complications (I'm not talking about just a few years of school either).

 

[Locut0s]

Are you sure you want yo hook up with a chick? I mean really sure? Maybe you don't, and your just trying to live up to what society expects of you. Only you can really answer that, and if it turns out you really don't want to hook up with a chick, there's nothing wrong with that. It puts you outside of what people consider normal, but who cares what people think? You gotta do what'll make you happy, and not conform to other's expectations.

Depends on what you mean by that. I certainly have the same biological drive to get laid that most men do, I watch pr0n instead, I'm just not emotionally prepared to go there. I'm not interested in going out on the prowl for women, clubbing and the like etc... That aspect I'm not interested in. Long run I would certainly like to find a GF that I would have something in common with, share interests with etc.., and could be genuine friends with along with being romantically involved with.

 

[nageov3t]

no, because I don't have any asian friends

I do actually have 1 friend who gets pressure from his mom, but it's because: a) she wants grandkids, and b) he does date, but it's mostly hookups with club skanks.

he's got this whole separate group of friends that he hits clubs with every weekend, this is his only form of social interaction with the opposite sex, and he can't figure out why he hasn't run into Ms. Right yet.

 

[Locut0s]

no, because I don't have any asian friends

I do actually have 1 friend who gets pressure from his mom, but it's because: a) she wants grandkids, and b) he does date, but it's mostly hookups with club skanks.

he's got this whole separate group of friends that he hits clubs with every weekend, this is his only form of social interaction with the opposite sex, and he can't figure out why he hasn't run into Ms. Right yet.

Ever known any shy, socially awkward gay guys? Just doesn't seem like it fits the stereotype. But of course that's because it's a stereotype.

I don't look Asian anyway.

 

[nageov3t]

Ever known any shy, socially awkward gay guys? Just doesn't seem like it fits the stereotype. But of course that's because it's a stereotype.

many, mostly on the internet.

I myself am a shy, socially awkward gay guy, but I was given some worthwhile advice a long time ago... fake it till you make it.

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Meh, I'm 20 and Asian and I haven't gone on a single date.

I prefer hanging out with friends, and considering I'm studying Engineering, the pool of females is incredibly small. Much of that pool happen to be the craziest people I have ever seen. Also, I'm pretty sure most of my friends think I'm gay, but that's a non issue

Studying and my own life takes precedence over females. I have no interest in getting laid or dating before I actually make something of myself.

 

[CVSiN]

Loc I suffer from Bi-polar as well and am medicated.
it should not affect you in social situations.
just go out when you are manic instead of depressed.

and find a wingman friend..
that might really help you.
trust me all it will take is 1 girl and your confidence will skyrocket..

btw the bar scene sucks..
try to find a singles group that does activities in your area.
there you will meet much better class of women instead of the bar flys..

 

[CVSiN]

Meh, I'm 20 and Asian and I haven't gone on a single date.

I prefer hanging out with friends, and considering I'm studying Engineering, the pool of females is incredibly small. Much of that pool happen to be the craziest people I have ever seen. Also, I'm pretty sure most of my friends think I'm gay, but that's a non issue

Studying and my own life takes precedence over females. I have no interest in getting laid or dating before I actually make something of myself.

and by leaving the college social scene you take yourself out of one of the BEST places to meet a real woman for a long lasting relationship.

dont kid yourself.. you're in school to be an engineer.. you already have made something of yourself.
Dont rob yourself of the college experience.
You only get to do it once.. and you are only young once..

(my college experience was the Navy.. and yes the dating experience at that time of my life was amazing..) now I'm old and miss those glory days =P

 

[Bateluer]

Depressing thread is depressing.