Help me disable a computer.

[supertle55]

Remove CPU out, remount heatsink so it is not obvious. Machine won't post. They should be able to troubleshoot by listening to the beep sequences on boot to find out its CPU related. If they start removing all hardwares, then they didn't troubleshoot correctly.

 

[BW86]

corrupt the mbr

 

[Denithor]

Originally posted by: 0roo0roo
disable boot drive in bios.

Originally posted by: Rubycon
Disable L1/L2 cache in BIOS.

Pure :evil: I like.

Here's my suggestions:

Switch HDD into PIO mode. Induces a minor (but very noticeable) moment of lag when doing anything and everything. That's one I've had to fix more than once that had people ready to throw their computer out the window and buy a new one. Do this in conjunction with disabling boot drive in BIOS.

Just install Windows ME. That'll keep em busy forever.

 

[Syran]

Load Grub or Lilo boot loaders on the mbr with a bad configuration file.

 

[TheStu]

Fiddle with the CMOS jumper
Partially unseat one of the RAM sticks
Lower the CPU thermal threshold to something like 45C
Change/remove the boot drive order
Put a floppy in the drive (if the PCs have them)
Change the Admin password using a bootdisk
Put a password on the BIOS

If the keyboard/mouse are USB, unplug them and plug them back into different USB ports. ON every Windows system I have ever used, this will prevent them from using the keyboard to log into Windows until the system reboots (so it is only good for one restart, but it slows them down)

In theory, if the drives are IDE and on the same ribbon, setting them both to master might do something, but I haven't messed with that in years.

What you want are nested problems. So, a couple of 'obvious' ones, preferrably where it definitely looks like you tried to cover your tracks. That way they will think they fixed it, and then BAM!, no they didn't. So yea, get them jumping through a series of hoops. None of the problems are insurmountable in and of themselves, but when chained together, may take some time to catch them all.

By lowering the thermal threshold you will force the system to restart even if there isn't much of a problem. If the systems are P4 Prescotts, then they should hit 45C in no time.

 

[shadowhawk2020]

I LOVE the idea of lowering the thermal thresh hold!

 

[ussfletcher]

Severely underclock the CPU

 

[TheStu]

Originally posted by: ussfletcher
Severely underclock the CPU

It is a dell box, won't be able to get access to that sort of stuff unless he installs a third party BIOS, and even then he might not, plus the possibility of screwing up any number of other things.

 

[spinejam]

great topic w/ some interesting suggestions! :thumbsup:

i'd recommend corrupting the boot files and borking the dvd-drive laser w/ a little bit of peanut butter so they can't reinstall w/ a disc. yes, i have kids!

 

[Lean L]

best way to disable compu is to flash the bios then pull the plug halfway in between. You might even be able to edit the bin to change it so that there is a permanent 30 min delay in boot. THat'll really get them.

 

[shadowhawk2020]

This week I ended up formatting their HD and changing the Temp threshold. Every time the files started to copy over the computer shut itself down! It was VERY funny.

 

[sup3rn0th1ng]

go into the bios and disable the video card if its integrated video or PCI or AGP w/e...

 

[Denithor]

Originally posted by: TheStu
In theory, if the drives are IDE and on the same ribbon, setting them both to master might do something, but I haven't messed with that in years.

Slight twist on this - if it's a single hdd just set it to slave - wreaks havok on bootup time. Stupid maching spends like 30 seconds looking for the "master" drive that's supposed to be there. Since it's a Dell specifically, in the BIOS enable a second drive on the IDE channel and it will slow things even further looking for a phantom drive that's not actually there.

These work well with the PIO mode trick I mentioned above for simple frustration factor.

 

[ihyagp]

Short the reset switch headers so the motherboard sees it as constantly depressed. Hooking it up to the HDD LED isn't a bad idea if it works. Also pull a couple driver files out of windows (like hid.sys to leave keyboard and mouse not working)

 

[Avatar28]

I used to work for dell support so here is a good one. Go into the BIOS and change the CPU setting to compatibility mode. This will make the computer DOG slow. I believe the setting turns off the L2 cache. Can't remember if it actually underclocks the cpu or not but it is crazy slow regardless.

Another possibility is to install multiple antivirus programs. Norton and McAfee work well here. It pretty much kills the computer (as in it takes 5-10 minutes just to boot to the desktop and forever to do anything else too). Install the whole suite with firewall and everything if you can for a real thrill. Even better, this sort of thing happens quite a bit. Someone's antivirus expires and they put a new program on there and don't remove the old one. So they get the benefit of a good real world scenario.

Boot to recovery console and disable or rename a critical service, say RPC.

Edit: The removing the thermal interface material from the heatsink is a bad thing. If you're lucky, it will just cause the computer to get slow and/or shutdown and report a thermal error when you boot it up. Worst case you fry the proc. I wouldn't risk it.

Also, since it's a Dell it uses a proprietary front panel connector that has a ribbon cable going to the control board. There's also no reset switch on a Dell anymore so that wouldn't help you anyways.

 

[Knavish]

Originally posted by: shadowhawk2020
This week I ended up formatting their HD and changing the Temp threshold. Every time the files started to copy over the computer shut itself down! It was VERY funny.

Now that's a good prank idea ... well except the formatting part. That would be pretty mean. lol

 

[GuitarDaddy]

Soak the system in the bathtub for 1hr then immediately remove from tub and plug in and fire up. :Q

 

[Rubycon]

Originally posted by: GuitarDaddy
Soak the system in the bathtub for 1hr then immediately remove from tub and plug in and fire up. :Q

Well gee if we're doing this why not just stuff some steel wool between the motherboard and the motherboard tray? :laugh:

 

[TheKub]

Put an Apple sticker on the case.

 

[PM650]

Find some jumpers for something other than voltages (if its that old) to change.
OTOH, just install SP3, its bound to screw something up (perhaps find an earlier (read: buggier) version).

XP SP3 cripples some PCs with endless reboots