There once was a parrot named Chez. A couple came into the pet store and the store owner pointed him out. He said, "This is a very special parrot. You light a fire under his left foot and he sings Jingle Bells."
The couple, in disbelief, light a match under Chez's left foot. To their amazement, the parrot goes "Jingle bells. Jingle bells." And you know the rest.
The owner says, "No wait, there's more. Light a fire under his right foot and he sings Deck the Halls."
The couple lights a match under Chez's right foot. And again, the parrot breaks out with a Christmas tune. The couple is almost sold. Then out of curiosity, the man asks the owner, "What happens when you light the match right in the middle?"
Chez nuts roasting on an open fire . . .
Happy holidays all. Hope you had an excellent Christmas, and may New Year bring you plenty of hot deals, alcohol, and no roasted gonads.