Newbie to this forum that is. I'm a regular over at DVDtalk, but the subject of this email knows that, and I'd prefer her not to read this right now.
Background--I've been seeing this chick since Jan. of 2002, not long after I moved back down to TX. I love her, but...I'm still not IN love with her. As in I care about her and what happens to her, etc, but I really don't feel any "chemistry." To me she's more like a really good friend that I get to f--k too. Other that that, she's almost the perfect example of what I'd consider "marriage material" whatever that means. But, no matter how hard I try, I'm just not IN love with her.
Now there's a chance I'll be going to college in New York (6 year program) next year instead of going to school here in TX. This weekend she asked me if I was going to stay "with" her during that time, or break up with her if and when I do go out of state instead of maintaining a long distance relationship.
(I'm 32 by the way, school is due to mid-life career change necessary due to medical condition that prevents me from continuing in previous job. She's 35)
THEN, she went on... She knows I have every intention of moving to Maine basically as soon as possible. Well, she wants to know if after I finish school, would I be willing to come back to this area to live for a few years until her father passes away, because she doesn't want/can't leave him alone.
So she's asking me to make decisions for not just a year from now, but also for 7 years from now.
Am I just leading her on? Would the best thing to do be to just cut the relationship off now and hope we can remain friends, or try for another year to hope I start feeling the so-called chemistry?
Oh, I'm pretty sure it's not just my total lack of emotion. I've definitely been in love before, and I know the feeling. I've had "minor" buildings of that feeling in far far shorter relationships. IN
Background--I've been seeing this chick since Jan. of 2002, not long after I moved back down to TX. I love her, but...I'm still not IN love with her. As in I care about her and what happens to her, etc, but I really don't feel any "chemistry." To me she's more like a really good friend that I get to f--k too. Other that that, she's almost the perfect example of what I'd consider "marriage material" whatever that means. But, no matter how hard I try, I'm just not IN love with her.
Now there's a chance I'll be going to college in New York (6 year program) next year instead of going to school here in TX. This weekend she asked me if I was going to stay "with" her during that time, or break up with her if and when I do go out of state instead of maintaining a long distance relationship.
(I'm 32 by the way, school is due to mid-life career change necessary due to medical condition that prevents me from continuing in previous job. She's 35)
THEN, she went on... She knows I have every intention of moving to Maine basically as soon as possible. Well, she wants to know if after I finish school, would I be willing to come back to this area to live for a few years until her father passes away, because she doesn't want/can't leave him alone.
So she's asking me to make decisions for not just a year from now, but also for 7 years from now.
Am I just leading her on? Would the best thing to do be to just cut the relationship off now and hope we can remain friends, or try for another year to hope I start feeling the so-called chemistry?
Oh, I'm pretty sure it's not just my total lack of emotion. I've definitely been in love before, and I know the feeling. I've had "minor" buildings of that feeling in far far shorter relationships. IN