how big was your wedding?

[sjwaste]

The rules vary by family, but we did not invite children to our wedding. People may complain, but if they just find a sitter, they actually have more fun. You're giving them a night out, dinner, dancing, etc. They can find a sitter.

As far as +1 or +guest goes, you don't have to do it. Basically, if you have to write +1 on the invitation instead of the name of the person they'd bring, you're not obligated to add it. The single folks will have a fine time hanging out together, since I'd guess most of them are your buddies anyway.

 

[911paramedic]

My sister had a decent sized wedding, five groomsmen/bridesmaids. Full church deal and great reception, it was a blast.

I got married in Hawaii and it was just the two of us and my cousin that lived there who was a photographer by trade, that worked out quite well. It was really nice with just the two of us but I think a few really close family members would have been nice, but then you have to decide where you draw the line.

"Does cousin Eddy get to come? He is a magician with Hamburger Helper after all."

 

[SandEagle]

> 400

 

[Skillet49]

How big was it?

Mine looks like it is going to be small. (14 people, all family). Knowing this, it looks like we do not have to spend all of our money on food and the rental hall.

Also, how much am I looking at for a photographer?

We invited around 275. Family alone was well over 100 and we wanted to invite friends too. I think we're going to be a little under 200 guests at the reception (getting married in 2 1/2 weeks!)

I don't know if you have looked into places for a reception but most places have a minimum payment required so if you are only inviting 14 people you will end up paying for like a $500 meal per person at a reception hall. IMO you should just have an intimate dinner somewhere (could be a restaurant, somebody's backyard, etc.) and that will probably cost you a whole lot less.

Photographers can be crazy expensive. It seemed like it was hard to find a decent one for $1000 to $1500. You're best bet is if you can find someone who is just starting their photography business because they are too early in their career to be expensive.

 

[Skillet49]

Dam....yeah, we want to spend much less than that....

The only way to do not spend that much is to not have a typical reception (meal at reception hall, DJ, etc.). I think our reception is costing us about 45% of the budget, followed by the photographer at 15% of the budget.

There are some things that you can save money on for the wedding. For example, you can order your invitations through Bed, Bath, and Beyond and they print them for you, and they are a LOT less expensive than ordering invitations elsewhere (if you don't get the fancy ones). The wedding dress is another area you can save on. IMO there is no reason to spend anything more than $1000 on a wedding dress, but I know a lot of people do that. I got my wedding dress on clearance for $98! The alterations cost us like $400 though. Don't go crazy on the flowers. I don't think it's uncommon for people to spend at least $1000 on flowers, but we got flowers for the bridal party, grandparents, and mothers and two urns for the ceremony, and that was it.

If you are really only inviting 14 people, I can't imagine having everyone go out to a restaurant to celebrate would be all that bad. Even if you spent $100/person (including tip and tax), it's going to cost you $1600.

I would recommend you make a profile on theknot.com. They have a lot of tools and information on there, and I personally found the site extremely helpful in planning the wedding.

 

[Wyndru]

We had 250, and almost everyone showed up. It was kind of hectic and we didn't get to dance much because we were busy going from table to table thanking everyone for most of the night.

We ended up getting over 13k in money though, which was nice.

 

[poopaskoopa]

57 guests, I think. 2 groomsmen and 2 bridesmaids. We got a photographer for under $2k and I'm told that was with a discount(wife's old friend). I guess we got all the files and stuff. The highest quote I got was $4,000(includes negatives, 2 photographers). We got 2 photographers out of our deal, and that probably saved some time between wedding and the reception, as well as for doing some pre-wedding shoots.

We got a DJ for $400.

I think the food was ~$30 per person, which was bullshit, but that was on the lower end of the quotes I saw. Wedding food is shit. I should have gone with my gut and had a cheaper restaurant deliver $7 sandwiches. We had an open bar and I can't even tell you what was served by the caterer any more, and I got married last year.

We rented a ranch for $200 for the wedding, but that was supposedly discounted since I rented it with a cabin I rented for my groomsmen(another $400).

I think we paid about $1.50 per cupcake for about 150 med/small cupcakes. We got 3 or 4 different flavors. I think this was popular with guests.

The wedding cake was probably around $50.

The flowers cost about $400, I think. While I enjoyed my wedding day(and I say this as a guy), the flowers rate high on my wedding bullshit list. Mostly because I was dumbfounded by how few flowers we got for $400.

We got some big discounts along the way due to my wife's parents owning a hotel(i.e., free reception site & free open bar), and we did a fair amount of prep work on our own. I think our total cost came out to be about $7,000 - $7,500.

 

[Skillet49]

no, if I invite one person, then another one has to be invited or they will feel "left out". Then there is the "+guest". Then there are kids you have to accommodate. Yeah, it will turn into a 100 person reception fast. at around $120 a head for food, it's not cheap.

Are there no cheaper places where you guys are getting married? Including gratuity, alcohol (we're getting 3 kegs), and tax, our cost is around $40/person.

 

[SamurAchzar]

our cost is around $40/person

Ours too, about 80 bucks total

It was the cost of a NYC subway ticket downtown plus registration in the NYC city hall. I gave the finger to the wedding industry. It's not the money as that both me and missus just hate events and attention (THAT kind of attention, at least). It was awesome.

 

[litttlechica]

Ours was relatively small - about 85 - but we lucked out because my father in law is a photographer.

I would ask around to see if any of your friends or friends of friends know a good photographer because my friend is an awesome photographer (who I would;ve had do our wedding if it wasn't for my father in law) and I'm pretty sure she's quite a bit cheaper than going to a studio or something. She's based out of MI, though.

 

[rh71]

it mostly depends on how big your family is, because ours is mostly local. We had 2 tables of friends and 1 of coworkers on each side. Rest are family. 24 tables = 240ppl.

You could say you don't have to invite all of them, but it's just not right to invite certain ones and not others.

 

[pcgeek11]

Lets see: My wife, me, two witnesses, the Justice of the Peace. That would be 5 total. Cost me about $300.00 including dinner for the witnesses and us after.

 

[Gibson486]

The only way to do not spend that much is to not have a typical reception (meal at reception hall, DJ, etc.). I think our reception is costing us about 45% of the budget, followed by the photographer at 15% of the budget.

There are some things that you can save money on for the wedding. For example, you can order your invitations through Bed, Bath, and Beyond and they print them for you, and they are a LOT less expensive than ordering invitations elsewhere (if you don't get the fancy ones). The wedding dress is another area you can save on. IMO there is no reason to spend anything more than $1000 on a wedding dress, but I know a lot of people do that. I got my wedding dress on clearance for $98! The alterations cost us like $400 though. Don't go crazy on the flowers. I don't think it's uncommon for people to spend at least $1000 on flowers, but we got flowers for the bridal party, grandparents, and mothers and two urns for the ceremony, and that was it.

If you are really only inviting 14 people, I can't imagine having everyone go out to a restaurant to celebrate would be all that bad. Even if you spent $100/person (including tip and tax), it's going to cost you $1600.

I would recommend you make a profile on theknot.com. They have a lot of tools and information on there, and I personally found the site extremely helpful in planning the wedding.

Yeah...problem is, my family is so big, hers is so small. If we did just "close" family, it would 80% my family and 20% hers. I have no choice but to draw the line because as you said, the reception is what cost a lot.

As for cutting costs, she already got the dress for $350 from Davids Bridal. They were having a big sale and she got it for 50% off this weekend. I had to travel to Maine to get it, though. Only 3 stores had her size in stock. She claims that the dress fits perfectly. I can't wait to see it.

 

[AreaCode707]

We had immediate family only, no friends, by no choice of our own, because of complicated family situations. I have regretted it ever since. We have no photos, had to spend months explaining to friends why they were not invited, no happy memories from that day. One of the most stressful days of my life. Wish I could do it over again. Seems a little retarded but one of the most special moments of that day for me was telling AT I got married. Only real congratulations we got got from anyone. Nobody else was really happy for us but you guys.

 

[KlokWyze]

$15K for some shitty food and a cheesy DJ? COUNT ME IN! :awe:

The wedding industry is vanity unhappily married to bad taste.

 

[vshah]

my wedding is in india, and it is supposedly going to be around 800-1000 people D:

 

[MagnusTheBrewer]

About 200 at the wedding and 150 at the reception.

 

[MedicBob]

me, wife, brother, sister-in-law(bro's wife), and my mother. Preacher not included '
;p

 

[MrPickins]

Two people attended.

Eloping FTW. :thumbsup:

 

[IronWing]

my wedding is in india, and it is supposedly going to be around 800-1000 people D:

So just immediate family then?

 

[Kanalua]

Parents sent out over a thousand invites. I would say 200+ for the reception.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

100 RSVPed but because I did everything on time and my local culture is to do things very late.

 

[RPD]

Just under 110 people in the wedding, 4 in the wedding party. Even at 100+ people I found it hard to get around and talk to everyone that came, I don't see how people do it in the 300+ wedding I've been to.

 

[Patt]

We were at about 95 ... was pretty nice, not too many, not too expensive. Was a relatively dry wedding though, so didn't have to pick up the liquor tab for too many folks.

 

[NFS4]

150 people outside wedding, three groomsmen, three bridesmaids.