How do I slow down a computer? YES SLOW IT DOWN!!!

[Mark]

Well my neighbor has a slow laptop P100, 16MB of ram. He surfs the internet with this thing everyday and surprisingly, the laptop ain't too slow, it's also his only computer. I realy want him to do himself a favor and dump this and get a new computer. He is just lazy in ordering one so that's why he hasn't got one yet. It's not like he doesn't have any money(he has lots of it) but it's just he's too lazy to buy one. My question is, is there anyway I can make this laptop unbearingly slow so he just goes out and buys a new computer out of frustration? I know it's a rotton thing to do, but he needs the speed of a new computer. And I know alot of you are thinking how possibly can you make a laptop this slow even slow, but it's pretty fast, mainly cause it has a bunch of old programs on it and has Win95.

 

[cvlegion]

Put on a whole bunch of M$ bloatware like IE 5.5. Hah!

 

[Budman]

Go into the bios and turn off L1 & L2 cache . this will make it run like a 386.

 

[goophie]

hahaahha, you want to slow down his laptop to make him go and buy a new one?

I'm surprised that over so many years all the software that he's installed on that laptop hasn't frustrated him already! Some of my friends never do clean installs of windows and everything just piles up and up and up and up...

why don't you introduce him to some mp3's? that way when he plays mp3's and surf on a p100 16mb laptop, it just kinda skips horribly?

 

[goophie]

yeah the l1 and l2 cache disabling will slow it down a lot too haha

good idea budman

 

[akashra]

Mark, I'm certainly glad that I don't know you in person lol.
How evil
Disabling the L1/L2 cache will certainly slow it down, but how about a program like moslow running hidden as a background task?
(Moslow = program us Wing Commander fans use so we can slow a machine to the speed of a 386 12 to make it playable

 

[HomerSapien]

You guys are evil...

 

[KameLeon]

lol...

 

[CHiMPBizKiT]

Hahahahaha ... that's the funniest thing I've heard today

 

[cvlegion]

Yes, that will definitely do the trick.

 

[Grminalac]

Install windows 98 or me. that will slow down anything to a crawl. hahahahahahaha

 

[spamboy]

But if it isn't slow enough to frustrate him now why the hell should he buy another computer? If he really cared about computers, he'd have bought one a long time ago. Sounds like he should spend the money elsewhere. Just because YOU like fast computers doesn't mean other people should buy new ones just because you think they are cool.

 

[Ben88]

Run msconfig, click on the startup tab, and check all the available boxes.

 

[OS]

seriously, if it does everything he needs it to do, why are you gonna make him buy a new system? It's not really up to you to decide what he does or doesn't need.

 

[blargyblarg]

you can use a program such as moslo.exe, which was made to slow down your computer so you could play old games.

http://www.hpaa.com/moslo/

 

[PieDerro]

Install SETI!!!!! and help out the Team Anandtech SETI team in the process!!

 

[Double Trouble]

<<I know it's a rotton thing to do, but he needs the speed of a new computer.>>

Ummmm.... what exactly makes you think he needs it? He doesn't seem to think so. If he is happy with the current slow speed of the one he's got, why the heck would you want to slow it down and make him buy something he clearly doesn't need?

 

[Smbu]

Maybe Mark wants to buy the P100 laptop for a low price from the neighbor?

 

[noxipoo]

maybe he sells computers.

 

Install ME

 

[arthurb1]

And good luck disabling the L2 cache, pretty hard on most laptops, since most manufacturers lock you out of the BIOS in some fashion, different for all manuf's...I am still waiting for a self build laptop