Why do I need to learn? I hate swimming. I hate the exercise it provides, I hate the socialisation, the horribly revealing swimsuits, the stupid pool games. I don't go near water. I won't ride on boats of any size for any reason, and frankly if it comes down to magically becoming comfortable in water above my waist without a life-vest, or just accepting it as God's will that it's my time, I see nothing wrong with it being my time. If humans were meant to swim, we'd be born with the ability. I'll stick to hockey. LOL.
If I did learn, I would still wear a life-vest, still panic, would still claim I couldn't swim and would avoid the water like a plague- certainly I would never practise thereby losing the skill as quickly as I had acquired it. I don't understand this fun you are describing. Being cold and wet is miserable, games are for kids younger than 7, the chlorine dries out your skin... forget it. Not worth it.
But I do realise that this acceptance of unnecessary failure is baffling at kindest to you swimmers. It's merely unimportant to some of us. Think of it as natural selection.