How do you contribute to the downfall of ATOT?

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Charmonium

Diamond Member
May 15, 2015
9,583
2,947
136
GD cats. Between them and the deer they walk around like they own the place. I should charge them rent, but they probably just scurry off. Either that or I'd get paid in dead mice and salt licks. And don't get me started on the squirrels and the gophers. The squirrels either eat all of my chestnuts and acorns or hide them before I even see them. My only joy is the on the rare occasion when a hawk decides to flutter by and eat one of the little bastards. And the ground hogs . . . what is up with those creatures? They are mindlessly aggressive. For reasons best known to themselves they took out 2 of my solar powered path lights. Although it could have been raccoons or skunks. They're not above a little mayhem either. I'll tell you it a freaking zoo out here in the burbs.
 

Mayne

Diamond Member
Apr 13, 2014
8,836
1,373
126
GD cats. Between them and the deer they walk around like they own the place. I should charge them rent, but they probably just scurry off. Either that or I'd get paid in dead mice and salt licks. And don't get me started on the squirrels and the gophers. The squirrels either eat all of my chestnuts and acorns or hide them before I even see them. My only joy is the on the rare occasion when a hawk decides to flutter by and eat one of the little bastards. And the ground hogs . . . what is up with those creatures? They are mindlessly aggressive. For reasons best known to themselves they took out 2 of my solar powered path lights. Although it could have been raccoons or skunks. They're not above a little mayhem either. I'll tell you it a freaking zoo out here in the burbs.

thats the beauty of living in the suburbs. Embrace it.
 
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Crono

Lifer
Aug 8, 2001
23,720
1,501
136
GD cats. Between them and the deer they walk around like they own the place. I should charge them rent, but they probably just scurry off. Either that or I'd get paid in dead mice and salt licks. And don't get me started on the squirrels and the gophers. The squirrels either eat all of my chestnuts and acorns or hide them before I even see them. My only joy is the on the rare occasion when a hawk decides to flutter by and eat one of the little bastards. And the ground hogs . . . what is up with those creatures? They are mindlessly aggressive. For reasons best known to themselves they took out 2 of my solar powered path lights. Although it could have been raccoons or skunks. They're not above a little mayhem either. I'll tell you it a freaking zoo out here in the burbs.

Your assortment of creatures sounds like what we've got here.

EDIT: Oh, forgot you're in NJ. That explains it. The gophers are hilarious, you'll see them chilling with the deer on Palisades Parkway around here. There's a groundhog who lives in my yard, too, every once in a while I startle him opening the door and he goes waddling/running away.

The turkeys are the aggressive ones, though. I've seen them peck parked cars for no apparent reason (maybe they think it's an animal threat in their territory, who knows).
 
Last edited:
Reactions: Charmonium

Charmonium

Diamond Member
May 15, 2015
9,583
2,947
136
Your assortment of creatures sounds like what we've got here.

EDIT: Oh, forgot you're in NJ. That explains it. The gophers are hilarious, you'll see them chilling with the deer on Palisades Parkway around here. There's a groundhog who lives in my yard, too, every once in a while I startle him opening the door and he goes waddling/running away.

The turkeys are the aggressive ones, though. I've seen them peck parked cars for no apparent reason (maybe they think it's an animal threat in their territory, who knows).
The groundhogs are crazy. Sure they act all scared and cowardly, but turn your back and they start attacking things. I had a tent up in my back yard once and they tore it to shreds. Why? Who the f*** knows. It was in their territory and I didn't get a zoning variance? IDK. Little f***ers.

Then there are the burrows. How many burrows do you need if you're a 4lb rodent? It's not like you need a primary residence, a vacation home, a pied a terre and a town house. You don't have a wife, and 3 mistresses you need to entertain. And yet they feel the need to dig up every square foot of my yard that isn't covered with grass or foliage. Get a f***ing job rodent.

But honestly, the raccoons are the worst. If they can find a way into your house, it's all over. They are aggressive, home-invading squatters. I've had them climb up trees close to the house and pry off soffit vents to get into the attic. Whole families of them. I have video somewhere if I can ever dig it up.

Then when I repaired the vent, I must have trapped one of them up there so they busted out through another vent which also had to be replaced. They are soooo lucky that I'm not allowed to shoot the little bastards. I'd have to trap and release them and hire an animal control specialist to do it. Screw that. Lock and load mother f***er.
 
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