How do you cope with the death of a child?

[Yeeny]

Even though its not yours? A little girl, the daughter of one of myputer and my friends, died tonight. 12 years old, and she complained of a bad headache, laid down, and never woke up again. They turned off her life support about an hour and a half ago. Turns out, she was born with a brain aneurysm, and it was just a matter of time before it burst. Now its 3:30 am, and I can't sleep. I keep thinking about how just a few months ago, Shanni and I were playing Skip It with her, and teaching her how to dance all silly in these big white shoes. My oldest son is only 2 years younger than her, and its just heartbreaking. I can't stop crying, even though she isn't mine. I just pity that poor family so bad.... and I can't even imagine what they are going through.

I just keep hugging my kids, and reassuring myself that they are ok.

 

[Mrfrog840]

Im sorry
Ive never lost someone close so im not really any good help
I hope you make it through this and dont make any bad decisions that will hurt you or someone

 

[Mday]

i dont think one can truly cope with that... =(

/me hugz colleen...

=((

 

[Theslowone]

One day at a time. Holding on to what you have today, like you are doing, would be the way I would go also.

 

[Nocturnal]

time will heal all wounds. honestly if my child died, i would take my own life to be with my child.

 

[Elledan]

We're only mortal.

Sorry to hear about the death of this child

 

[Nocturnal]

<< We're only mortal.

Sorry to hear about the death of this child >>



Hopefully one day you're friend will be reunited with their child.

I'll say a prayer for you and the ones who are greiving right now.

 

[BoberFett]

A few years ago my 5 year old cousin fell in a pool and drowned. I wasn't real close with that family, but it was incredibly sad all the same. Thinking about the innocent life lost.

If anything happened to my little girl I'm not sure that I'd make it.

So I guess I don't know how you deal with it.

 

[Johnnie]

I had a close friend of mine die 5 yrs ago...we were both the same age..both had kids..he a soon to be 1 yr old girl..i had my 2 yr old boy and another on the way.
He got killed in a motorcycle accident...it made me think how lucky I was !!
I hate that it took the loss of him to make me turn my life around...but I thank him and will never forget it.
I told this to his wife..she agreed and was not hurt by it

 

[Juniper]

I'm so sorry to hear such sad news

You have my prayers.

 

[Maetryx]

I also have children and have sometimes wondered what it would be like to lose one. The depth of darkness that rushes in when I think like that is staggering. I know that I would, for the rest of my life most likely, regret that I wasn't a better parent.

It really highlights just how unimportant a lot of the extraneous things in our lives really are. The world is inherently unfair, so much so that the term 'unfair' is nearly meaningless. In our helplessness, we will be realize how fortunate we are to have had some years with our departed loved one.

 

[Pliablemoose]

Q:

<< How do you cope with the death of a child? >>



A: Badly

 

[navyrn]

My job puts me in this position too often. I do emergency and intensive care nursing. I get this question and see death A LOT!!!!

The best you can do is celebrate her life. This person touched and changed you. Remeber the things that would make her laugh. Remember the trouble they would get into. What did this person like to do? Picture, pictures, pictures. The pain will lessen over time but you can never stop missing them. We always celebrate when a life comes into our world. Why not celebrate that life's contribution when it has to leave our world. DO THIS FOR THE PARENTS!!! Remind and reenforce how wonderful of a job they did raising her. They need that reassurance now. The biggest question in their mind will be "What could we have done to save her." The answer is this case is... Nothing. If you have a spiritual belief, fall back on that. Faith is what we have when we have nothing else.

God bless you and may he grant the parents some serenity in these times.

 

[Ulfwald]

This is one of the most unnatural acts a parent has to do, but should never have to go through.

Colleen, I know that you love your children very much, and I hope that they stay safe and healthy for as long as the live. I am truly sorry that you are witnessing one of the saddest moments in your friend's lives. Be there to support them, helping them through this will not only allow them to cope, but it will also help you deal with the sadness.

 

[TheFirm]

Its REAL hard to cope with a love one lost. about 9 years ago one of my best friend was killed by her mom. Her mom had a lot of stress and decided that she cant help thema nd suffficated them with pillow cases she then said her dad will watch them he died about 9 years before that it was all over the news and i couldnt believe it this is one of the time i mean her mom was cool before this happen i feel sorry for her but i just wanna kill her she wa a smart kid and had a chance to be VERY VERY smart she had a nice laugh and everything sigh just remeber the good times is all i can say and never forget her she will be missed

 

[myputer]

I still can not believe this happened Her mother called me last night from the hospital screaming that she thinks her daughter is dying. She told me she had gotten a headache, laid down and stopped breathing. They brought her back 2 times in the ambulance and they had to put her on a resperator when they got to the hospital. They then airlifted her to another hospital.

She had swelling on the brain, they told her they could do surgery and IF she lived through it, she would still be braindead.
What makes this even harder is that this girls dad committed suicide 7 years ago, now her mother and brothers have lost her.


I would also like to say that her grandparents have not seen her or talked to her in 3 years, they only live 3 miles from her. There are so many hard feelings within that family it really breaks my heart. The first conversation they have had with each other in all that time, is to tell them that their grand daughter is dead.

This is the second child in our family to die in four months

 

[aimn]

navryn's ideas are very good ones. I have a daughter and I dont know what I would do if something should happen to her. I would have to fall back on my faith. I dont know if I would get through it or not. I am sorry to hear about your friends child. I have faith that she is in a better place. Still makes me want to cry though. Losing my child...........my worst fear!

 

[Ulfwald]

No matter what hard feelings there are in a family, they need to get through it because people never know when they be taken from this earth. Families MUST stick togetherl;

 

[Nitemare]

My condolences

Children are supposed to outlive their parents, but sometimes mother nature takes them first.

She is in a better place now where she can feel no pain, nor can she ever hurt again.

I'm sure she is dancing up there right now as well as smiling down.

 

[Pacfanweb]

Nothing anyone can say will make it better, it's just something that you never quite get used to, but can learn to accept. No parent should outlive their children.

My family's thoughts and prayers go out to everyone involved.

 

[Aquaman]

What can I say........ but a little prayer for the little girl & her family

I don't have kids of my own but I'm very close to my oldest sisters kids and if anything happend to my neice or nephew, I don't know what I'd do

Sincerely,
Aquaman

 

[Mikelh]

A sudden loss is difficult, especially a child's life. Allow yourself to grieve, as long as it takes. Grieving is natural and needed. Also, I know from the experience of losing my mom and sister that you'll not get over the death and loss, but God will give you the strength to get through it.

Michael

 

[kami]

How? Time and grieving.

My condolences.

 

[SilverThief]

I couldnt even imagine losing one of my kids. The pain your friend must be going through has to be unbearable.
God bless her.

 

[TheBlondOne]

I am so sorry for the loss. Their family will be in my prayers.



--Sarah