How likely am I to be on the Failblog?

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
I hate weeds. Weeding sucks. Especially when the weeds have spines that pierce most work gloves.

Plan? Purchase hose and lighter fluid. Torch weeds, monitor with hose and nozzle.

Odds that I end up on the Failblog? Meet the local Fire Department? Burn down my house?
 

ussfletcher

Platinum Member
Apr 16, 2005
2,569
2
81
Odds are:
1:1 for damage to house and scaring the neighbors
2:1 for irreperable damage
5:1 fire department shows up
25:1 arrested for arson
107:1 works exactly as planned
 

rivan

Diamond Member
Jul 8, 2003
9,677
3
81
Whatever you do, DON'T:

- Use gasoline
- Douse the area, then realize you forgot a lighter
- Go inside to get a lighter (round trip 1+ minute)
- Bend down to the soaked area to light the now semi-evaporated gas

Also, don't ask me how I know this. It's certainly NOT from personal, young-teenage experience. I was NEVER THAT stupid.
 

Malak

Lifer
Dec 4, 2004
14,696
2
0
Odds are:
1:1 for damage to house and scaring the neighbors
2:1 for irreperable damage
5:1 fire department shows up
25:1 arrested for arson
107:1 works exactly as planned

No, it is 1:1 fire department shows up. Guaranteed.
 

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
No, it is 1:1 fire department shows up. Guaranteed.

I doubt there's enough plant life to really get a bon fire going. Fire department won't show up unless the two store house behind mine calls the FD.
 

alevasseur14

Golden Member
Feb 12, 2005
1,760
1
0
Any reason, aside from making too much sense, that you don't just buy weed killer and then mow them over when they are dead?
 

0roo0roo

No Lifer
Sep 21, 2002
64,862
84
91
for weeds growing in cracks between concrete slabs and such,, water kettle + boiling water is a nice solution...
without risk of the fire...
 

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
Pics if you actually do it. When do you plan on doing this?

Oh, I'd take pictures. Great excuse to wipe out my good digital camera.


Any reason, aside from making too much sense, that you don't just buy weed killer and then mow them over when they are dead?

Good weed killer is pricey. The 20 dollar pump jugs at Home Depot barely do squat. And it has to be done repeatedly. The previous owner did some landscaping in the backyard, where I want to torch the weeds, that included gravel and rocks around the edges with the oblong oval of 'grass' in the middle. Unfortunately, there's now a ton of gravel and rocks in the grassy area too.

It'd also require me to buy a lawn mower. A very pricey alternative.
 

alevasseur14

Golden Member
Feb 12, 2005
1,760
1
0
Oh, I'd take pictures. Great excuse to wipe out my good digital camera.




Good weed killer is pricey. The 20 dollar pump jugs at Home Depot barely do squat. And it has to be done repeatedly. The previous owner did some landscaping in the backyard, where I want to torch the weeds, that included gravel and rocks around the edges with the oblong oval of 'grass' in the middle. Unfortunately, there's now a ton of gravel and rocks in the grassy area too.

It'd also require me to buy a lawn mower. A very pricey alternative.

I was a pyro growing up. I have the scars to prove it. I just can't help but think this is a retarded way of doing it. We use Round-Up. Kills everything - kills it dead!

I'm guessing you don't actually have a 'lawn'? I guess I didn't look and see if you list your location...
 

Bateluer

Lifer
Jun 23, 2001
27,730
8
0
I'm guessing you don't actually have a 'lawn'? I guess I didn't look and see if you list your location...

Like hell I'm going to post my a Google Map view of my house on ATOT.

To answer your question, the front is desert landscaped and has no lawn. I do need to get some gravel in there, there was gravel there in the past, but I believe it was stolen before I moved into the house. The back yard was landscaped as well, oblong oval grass in the middle with gravel around the outside. Its been unmaintained.

Roundup doesn't do much and leaves massive gaps of live plants.

My plan is thusly.

- Purchase lighter fluid, the kind normally purchased for lighting charcoal grills. Purchase a hose, and spray nozzle with decent range. Connect hose to faucet in back yard, test water supply and range of sprayer.
- Spray some lighter fluid over a small section against the concrete wall furthest from my house and patio. Light with pocket lighter. Observe results. Extend flames with lighter fluid if required.
- Snap photos.
 

Squisher

Lifer
Aug 17, 2000
21,207
66
91
Those propane weed burners are pretty common and can be found at a lot of stores both online and B&M. You actually don't catch anything on fire, you just heat the plants until the leaves turn glossy. Works great for selectively getting rid of weeds without hurting plants you want to keep in close proximity. Paying for the propane can get a little pricey, though.
 

IcePickFreak

Platinum Member
Jul 12, 2007
2,428
9
81
Odds are:
1:1 for damage to house and scaring the neighbors
2:1 for irreperable damage
5:1 fire department shows up
25:1 arrested for arson
107:1 works exactly as planned

I got five large on it works exactly as planned. Don't fuck this up Bateluer, or else Fat Tony is gonna come and show you how to use lighter fluid. Capiche?

I always just spray a little paint thinner on the ones that come up through the cracks in the walk-way by the garage and they're dead by the end of the day.
 
Last edited:

Lotheron

Platinum Member
Oct 21, 2002
2,188
2
71
Like hell I'm going to post my a Google Map view of my house on ATOT.

To answer your question, the front is desert landscaped and has no lawn. I do need to get some gravel in there, there was gravel there in the past, but I believe it was stolen before I moved into the house. The back yard was landscaped as well, oblong oval grass in the middle with gravel around the outside. Its been unmaintained.

Roundup doesn't do much and leaves massive gaps of live plants.

My plan is thusly.

- Purchase lighter fluid, the kind normally purchased for lighting charcoal grills. Purchase a hose, and spray nozzle with decent range. Connect hose to faucet in back yard, test water supply and range of sprayer.
- Spray some lighter fluid over a small section against the concrete wall furthest from my house and patio. Light with pocket lighter. Observe results. Extend flames with lighter fluid if required.
- Snap photos.

WTF! Who the fvck steals gravel from someones yard?
 
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