How long did you date your s/o till you realized you wanted to get married...

[Konigin]

About a year, but we're not together anymore.

 

[djplayx714]

marriage is overrated

unless youre gay

 

[ThaGrandCow]

KarenMarie - Isn't the act of investing in a home and living traditional married roles a major sign that you've gone way beyond a casual relationship? Granted, I don't know the entire story of your relationship, but even if you were a guy I'd have said the exact same thing. After 7 years, linking both of your financial futures together, family pets... the only thing left would be kids.

Hell, at this point if you are acting like you two are married in every single sense of the word, but you are just worried that it might not work out, sign a mutual pre-nup declaring no alimony in either direction and get that piece of paper. Unless you're leaving something out, at this point the only thing you're missing is saving a boatload of cash from the tax side of being married.

Your guy may be patient, but if he's really asking you every day to get married, it's a kick in the nuts to him everytime you reject him.

 

[DainBramaged]

Not France. I hate them so much for what they did. Two fvcking ties? Bullshit.

 

[KarenMarie]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
KarenMarie - Isn't the act of investing in a home and living traditional married roles a major sign that you've gone way beyond a casual relationship? Granted, I don't know the entire story of your relationship, but even if you were a guy I'd have said the exact same thing. After 7 years, linking both of your financial futures together, family pets... the only thing left would be kids.

Hell, at this point if you are acting like you two are married in every single sense of the word, but you are just worried that it might not work out, sign a mutual pre-nup declaring no alimony in either direction and get that piece of paper. Unless you're leaving something out, at this point the only thing you're missing is saving a boatload of cash from the tax side of being married.

Your guy may be patient, but if he's really asking you every day to get married, it's a kick in the nuts to him everytime you reject him.

Every single solitary day for the past six years... he asks me if we are gonna start planning a wedding today? And every single solitary day for the past six years... I tell him no, not today.

Every few days, he brings up a serious conversation of wanting me to be his wife. I tell him that for all intents and purposes, barring a peice of paper from the state, I am his wife.

Will I ever marry him? ... not sure, but probably. There is no one that has ever breathed that I would choose over him.

Will I take that step, as a formality?... No. I will not get married just for the sake of it.

I was never married in church. And if I ever marry again, it will be in church. If/When that ever happens, it wil be FOREVER... NO MATTER WHAT!!!! I don't know that I am ready for that. Right now, I can leave if things get out of control. If I marry in church, before God... that is a commitment that could make me live a miserable life if things go badly.

It is a me thing.

His parents are on us to get married. I consider myself commited where it counts. That piece of paper will not make me love him more, will not make me be more faithful, will not make me more commited.

As far as 'common law' states.. it doesnt matter if my state has one or not. If ... !!!!!God Forbid!!!!!... anything bad were to happen and we were to split, we have the same situation that any two ppl living together, sharing all expenses have. No judge, or court, in the land will not recongize this as giving one party everything and the other party nothing. I am not worried about that financial protection.

P.S. I am 43 years old. My daugher will be 22 yrs old shortly. She is currently engaged to be married. I have been with my b/f since she was 14 years old. When she is done with college, I might reconsider. when I no longer live in norhtern NJ, I might reconsider.

But for now... I am comfortable with the way things are.

 

[Shadowknight]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
Hahaha... we LIVE together!!!! We own a home together!!! We have old fashioned roles in this relationship. We raise nine cats together.... we do joint EVERYTHING!!!

You even use the toilet together?! :Q Gross!

 

[acemcmac]

The real test for me will be when I take the gf to a formal business function. If I'm not pissed as hell at her by the end of the night and if I don't get an earful, I'm going to book the proposal trip at my next opportunity....

 

[Cuda1447]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Not France. I hate them so much for what they did. Two fvcking ties? Bullshit.

Think it'll be Brazil?

 

[maziwanka]

maybe the better question is how long before you realize that the two of you can't get married?

world cup - im just hoping japan makes it out of the group.

 

[Greenman]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow

Originally posted by: KarenMarie
The b/f fell in love with me on hour 2, date 1... and realized that I was the lifelong one for him.

We have been together for almost 7yrs years, we have lived together for 6yrs.

he asks every day to marry me.

:shocked:
For the love of god, I hope you've given him a timeframe that he can expect a yes from someday. A guy can only take so many 'no's before he was a broken man.

Hahaha... we LIVE together!!!! We own a home together!!! We have old fashioned roles in this relationship. We raise nine cats together.... we do joint EVERYTHING!!!

I love him, I respect him. I care for him, I care about him and I take care of him. I treat him as a man deserves to be treated.

Is that not married enough?

No, it's not.
I know a few people who live together and say "it's the same as being married" and I say "so why not get married?". The reason why is simple, you want to be with the guy, but you also want to leave the door open just a crack in case you want to get out in a hurry. I'm not judging you, it's your life and I sure as hell have no right to tell you what to do, and that might be the best way for you to live, but it's not "married enough". Being married is a black or white kind of thing, there is no gray area. You should marry the guy or try to figure out why you don't want to, then trade in those cats for some kids.

 

[CrazyDe1]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
KarenMarie - Isn't the act of investing in a home and living traditional married roles a major sign that you've gone way beyond a casual relationship? Granted, I don't know the entire story of your relationship, but even if you were a guy I'd have said the exact same thing. After 7 years, linking both of your financial futures together, family pets... the only thing left would be kids.

Hell, at this point if you are acting like you two are married in every single sense of the word, but you are just worried that it might not work out, sign a mutual pre-nup declaring no alimony in either direction and get that piece of paper. Unless you're leaving something out, at this point the only thing you're missing is saving a boatload of cash from the tax side of being married.

Your guy may be patient, but if he's really asking you every day to get married, it's a kick in the nuts to him everytime you reject him.

What does getting married change? Why get married just because that's what society expects and sees as the norm?

 

[ThaGrandCow]

Originally posted by: CrazyDe1

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
KarenMarie - Isn't the act of investing in a home and living traditional married roles a major sign that you've gone way beyond a casual relationship? Granted, I don't know the entire story of your relationship, but even if you were a guy I'd have said the exact same thing. After 7 years, linking both of your financial futures together, family pets... the only thing left would be kids.

Hell, at this point if you are acting like you two are married in every single sense of the word, but you are just worried that it might not work out, sign a mutual pre-nup declaring no alimony in either direction and get that piece of paper. Unless you're leaving something out, at this point the only thing you're missing is saving a boatload of cash from the tax side of being married.

Your guy may be patient, but if he's really asking you every day to get married, it's a kick in the nuts to him everytime you reject him.

What does getting married change? Why get married just because that's what society expects and sees as the norm?

It would be different if the guy knew and understood KarenMarie's views, but if he's asking every day to take it up a level then he's obviously not content with the way things are at the moment. As a significant other, one who is dedicated completely to the other person, that's a pretty major issue that needs to be taken care of. It's not getting married because society wants them to share the same last name, it's getting married because that's a connection that two people make between each other that says "hey, I'm here forever. We'll deal with fights, PMS, money shortages, and anything else that comes our way... but no matter what, no matter what strains our relationship, I'm here for you and you're here for me."

I respect KarenMarie's opinion that she wants to be absolutely certain before she agrees to get married to her man, but if she is keeping the door open as she said so she can leave if things get out of control, then there is either something wrong with her current relationship, or some baggage from a past relationship that she is wrongly holding over her current boyfriends head.

 

[mugs]

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow

Unless you've got a common-law marriage clause in your state laws... nope.
Why keep saying no if you live together, act as a married couple, love each other, etc... Just go to vegas and get a $30 drive through elvis wedding and make it official. Why keep holding it over his head?

A funny thing I noticed when I went to Vegas is that a lot of people actually seem to put some planning into a Vegas wedding and actually spend a decent amount of money on it (i.e. buying dresses, renting tuxes, bringing groomsmen and bridesmaids, etc). I figured most Vegas weddings were unplanned or spur of the moment things. Who really WANTS to go to Vegas to get married?

 

[lokiju]

I knew within the first month that she was the one, though I knew her for about 3 years prior to us dating.

We're getting married in October of this year.

 

[Garet Jax]

Originally posted by: Cuda1447
Also, how long do you think is to long to be dating without thinking about getting married/actually getting married.

Also, whose going to win the world cup?

I was with my girlfriend for 5+ years before I realized we should get married. Even then it was only after I accepted a job in San Francisco.

Brazil or Argentina.

 

[puffff]

Originally posted by: KarenMarie

Originally posted by: ThaGrandCow
KarenMarie - Isn't the act of investing in a home and living traditional married roles a major sign that you've gone way beyond a casual relationship? Granted, I don't know the entire story of your relationship, but even if you were a guy I'd have said the exact same thing. After 7 years, linking both of your financial futures together, family pets... the only thing left would be kids.

Hell, at this point if you are acting like you two are married in every single sense of the word, but you are just worried that it might not work out, sign a mutual pre-nup declaring no alimony in either direction and get that piece of paper. Unless you're leaving something out, at this point the only thing you're missing is saving a boatload of cash from the tax side of being married.

Your guy may be patient, but if he's really asking you every day to get married, it's a kick in the nuts to him everytime you reject him.

Every single solitary day for the past six years... he asks me if we are gonna start planning a wedding today? And every single solitary day for the past six years... I tell him no, not today.

Every few days, he brings up a serious conversation of wanting me to be his wife. I tell him that for all intents and purposes, barring a peice of paper from the state, I am his wife.

Will I ever marry him? ... not sure, but probably. There is no one that has ever breathed that I would choose over him.

Will I take that step, as a formality?... No. I will not get married just for the sake of it.

I was never married in church. And if I ever marry again, it will be in church. If/When that ever happens, it wil be FOREVER... NO MATTER WHAT!!!! I don't know that I am ready for that. Right now, I can leave if things get out of control. If I marry in church, before God... that is a commitment that could make me live a miserable life if things go badly.

It is a me thing.

His parents are on us to get married. I consider myself commited where it counts. That piece of paper will not make me love him more, will not make me be more faithful, will not make me more commited.

As far as 'common law' states.. it doesnt matter if my state has one or not. If ... !!!!!God Forbid!!!!!... anything bad were to happen and we were to split, we have the same situation that any two ppl living together, sharing all expenses have. No judge, or court, in the land will not recongize this as giving one party everything and the other party nothing. I am not worried about that financial protection.

P.S. I am 43 years old. My daugher will be 22 yrs old shortly. She is currently engaged to be married. I have been with my b/f since she was 14 years old. When she is done with college, I might reconsider. when I no longer live in norhtern NJ, I might reconsider.

But for now... I am comfortable with the way things are.

even if it doesnt mean anything to you, it obviously does to him, since he's been asking every day for the past 6 years.

its not getting married 'for the sake of it'. it's getting married because your partner wants to. you may not view that next step as important, but to him it means something. if you're truly committed, why not do it for him?

think of something small that he does for you on a consistent basis that you truly value and enjoy. now imagine one day he stops, and you really miss it, as if that little display of affection was priceless. you ask him how come he stopped, knowing it was no burden on him, and he replies, 'oh, you know i love you anyways'. wouldnt that hurt, just a little bit?

if you're not ready, just say that, but dont try to pretend it's not a big deal.

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: Cuda1447

Originally posted by: DainBramaged
Not France. I hate them so much for what they did. Two fvcking ties? Bullshit.

Think it'll be Brazil?

I hope not. I'd like to see France win. Won't happen. Guess after that I'm all about Germany.

 

[MercenaryForHire]

A solid year.

- M4H

 

[Lazy8s]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
I've been married for almost 14 years and I still don't want to get married.

qft

this man speaks pure gold

 

[z42]

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
A solid year.

- M4H

I agree with M4H on this one. You really should see how a person lives through a year of life with family and friends and holidays and such. Saves you from having a lot of surprises later in the relationship. My wife and I dated for about 9 mos before we got engaged (knew each other about 2 years), and had been together about 18mos when we got married.

Regarding the guy asking to get married everyday for 6 years, that's really really sad. I would have been out of there after a couple years max. What some people fail to realize is that love is a commitment and not a convenience. How can you build a life with someone who tells you every day that they want to keep their options open?

 

[Bryophyte]

He moved in with me, moving to a different state to do it, within a couple weeks of our first date. We decided to get married after three or four months, and were married 5 months from the first date. Married 12 years now.

 

[altonb1]

My wife and I met at the end of June in '94. it took her about a month to realize I was interested and we started "dating" in mid-august '94. We got engaged around the 3rd week of Septemeber '94. We were married in may '95. We just celebrated out 11 year anniversary about a month ago.

 

[Geekbabe]

lived together for a couple yrs, since MA doesn't reognize common law figured getting married needed to happen in order to ensure spousal rights/benefits in the event of death.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: z42

Originally posted by: MercenaryForHire
A solid year.

- M4H

I agree with M4H on this one. You really should see how a person lives through a year of life with family and friends and holidays and such. Saves you from having a lot of surprises later in the relationship. My wife and I dated for about 9 mos before we got engaged (knew each other about 2 years), and had been together about 18mos when we got married.

Regarding the guy asking to get married everyday for 6 years, that's really really sad. I would have been out of there after a couple years max. What some people fail to realize is that love is a commitment and not a convenience. How can you build a life with someone who tells you every day that they want to keep their options open?

married or not a lot of people are only as loyal as their available options. You're either true or you're not and all the pieces of paper in the world won't alter a basic lack of character.

 

[KillyKillall]

when we get married, on 4/28/07, it will have been 4.5 years