how long should you be with someone, before you move in with them?

[RossMAN]

Every situation is unique but I'd say at least 1+ years.

 

[z0mb13]

a better way is to live together, but still an option for bailing out.

For instance, the girl moves to guy's apartment, but she still has her own apartment. So if something goes wrong, she can just go back to her apart.

 

[Jumpem]

Originally posted by: Kenazo
i'm of the "get married before living together" camp.

 

[Electric Amish]

Anytime.

 

[samgau]

Whenever you are ready.... there is no set time...

 

[imported_Strang]

Originally posted by: z0mb13
a better way is to live together, but still an option for bailing out.

For instance, the girl moves to guy's apartment, but she still has her own apartment. So if something goes wrong, she can just go back to her apart.

That's similar to what I did for a year -- I "lived" about 3 houses down the street from her place, but for all intents and purposes was living at her place. It's hard on the finances, but convenient to have a place to blow off steam or get some me-time. It definitely eased the transition to living together.

 

[Hammer]

case by case basis

 

[PricklyPete]

Definitely case to case...but it is probably wise getting someone's opinion who will not lie to you (meaning they care enough about you to tell you if you are going to do something stupid).

I am assuming you are talking about moving in with a significant other...if you are just talking about a roommate...who cares...you can generally ignore them unless they are really, really horrible...and I imagine that would be easy to spot early on in knowing someone.

 

[amdskip]

Originally posted by: NuclearNed
Another vote for "get married first"

 

[Perknose]

Case by case. There was a time when I would have said otherwise, but . . .

My late wife moved in with me after we'd been together only 4-5 months. We lived together in sin for 4 plus years, then got married. Only death did us part.

 

[AgentOrange]

My wife and I moved in together before we started dating. We were friends for a year or so before our first date. That was nine years ago so i say move in before you start dating.

 

[Chaotic42]

I'd probably get married first, unless there were some special reason that we needed to move in sooner.

 

[SoylentGreen]

I'd say first date.

You're moving in with a psycho anyway.

 

[FoBoT]

Originally posted by: Kenazo
i'm of the "get married before living together" camp.

:thumbsup:

 

[slickcat]

I would definitely say a case by case basis. My fiance and I moved in together after 1 month of being together. We've known each other for almost 9 years previous. We were best friends before she moved in and now we're engaged. She knows my bad habits and I know hers. If the person is right for you then the living arrangement will work. If it's the wrong person it won't so if you're not sure just don't jump into it.

 

[BillyBatson]

wow this poll is pretty evenly spread

i say 2 cuz is you have been together 2 then thre is a better chance of it not ending anytime soon, i have noticed in many ppl's cases including mine, a 1 year to year and a half relationship can end like nothing was ever there

 

[Ausm]

Ist Ex- 1 Month

2nd Ex- 6 months Time before you move in ,In regard to a sucessful relationship don't mean sh!t.

Sysadmin

 

[rh71]

6 months is long enough to know if he/she is a psychotic murderer or not.

 

[johnjbruin]

6 months to 2 yrs

 

[Freejack2]

Hmm was about a year before my wife and I moved in together. Then a little over a year before we got married.

 

[djheater]

Numerous studies have indicated that if the couple wants to get married they should not live together.

from the linked article:

Researchers have found that living together before marriage increases the risk of divorce after marriage. "Research conducted at Yale and Columbia University and published in American Sociological Review found, 'the overall association between premarital cohabitation and subsequent marital stability is striking. The dissolution [divorce] rates of women who cohabit premaritally with their future spouse are, on average, nearly 80 percent higher than the rates of those who do not' " (Neil Bennett, "Commitment and the Modern Union: Assessing the Link Between Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability," American Sociological Review 53, p. 127-138).David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of the Rutgers University study concluded that "virtually all research on the topic has determined that the chances of divorce ending a marriage preceded by cohabitation are significantly greater than for a marriage not preceded by cohabitation. A 1992 study of 3,300 cases, for example, based on the 1987 National Survey of Families and Households, found that in their marriages prior [cohabitants] 'are estimated to have a hazard of dissolution [divorce] that is about 46 percent higher than for [noncohabitants].' "
Other researchers have come to similar conclusions, that those who live together before marriage are 50 to 100 percent more likely to divorce than those who wait until marriage

 

[Lola]

Originally posted by: djheater
Numerous studies have indicated that if the couple wants to get married they should not live together.

from the linked article:

Researchers have found that living together before marriage increases the risk of divorce after marriage. "Research conducted at Yale and Columbia University and published in American Sociological Review found, 'the overall association between premarital cohabitation and subsequent marital stability is striking. The dissolution [divorce] rates of women who cohabit premaritally with their future spouse are, on average, nearly 80 percent higher than the rates of those who do not' " (Neil Bennett, "Commitment and the Modern Union: Assessing the Link Between Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability," American Sociological Review 53, p. 127-138).David Popenoe and Barbara Dafoe Whitehead of the Rutgers University study concluded that "virtually all research on the topic has determined that the chances of divorce ending a marriage preceded by cohabitation are significantly greater than for a marriage not preceded by cohabitation. A 1992 study of 3,300 cases, for example, based on the 1987 National Survey of Families and Households, found that in their marriages prior [cohabitants] 'are estimated to have a hazard of dissolution [divorce] that is about 46 percent higher than for [noncohabitants].' "
Other researchers have come to similar conclusions, that those who live together before marriage are 50 to 100 percent more likely to divorce than those who wait until marriage

these same agruements come up all the time this topic is discussed. Think about this... most people who are against moving in together are also strongly against getting a adivorce. They would rather get married and if they realize they are miserable, they would rather live in misery than get a divorce.

People who move in together are usually more willing to be the type of people who will seperate or get a divorce if things are not working out.

Funny thing is.. i can attest to seeing several marriages ending because the couple did not know enough about each other before they got married.

I really dont care what anyone does, i am not going to preach. I cannot stand when people tell ME that i am going to hell or am going to get a divorce just because my FI and i lived together for a while first. :roll:

 

[djheater]

Originally posted by: LolaI really dont care what anyone does, i am not going to preach. I cannot stand when people tell ME that i am going to hell or am going to get a divorce just because my FI and i lived together for a while first. :roll:

I agree entirely. I think it's a matter for individuals to resolve, still the studies are interesting, at least so far as the numbers and averages are concerened.

I favor the belief that if you can stay married then living together or not would be irrelevant.