How many of you are married to someone who is different now than he/she was when you met them?

[OS]

Kind of curious. How long have you been married, much change was there, where and what was the change, was it good or bad change and perhaps most importantly, how have you dealt with it?

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

deleted. Thanks for confirming what a jackass you can be Bobby.

 

[IBhacknU]

Been married only 3 years now. I suppose I should give it time, but for now there's been little change. Unless you count the kids?

 

[Isla]

LOL@CrichtonsGirl, you crack me up! Ah, but you are prevailing, that is very clear to me.

Mr Isla and I are a classic case of 'opposites attract' and have been working hard at learning to meet in the middle. It has been difficult and frequently painful, but I believe we are both better people for it. I think so, anyway. Well, it's been 8 years of marriage. We only knew each other for 18 months before we married, so I guess it serves us right.

IBhacknU, *shhhhh!* You don't see me.

(I am not supposed to be posting... I am supposed to be working... deadline looming over me!)

edit: Marriage is about growing and changing TOGETHER. If you can get that down, your chances for success are very good.

 

[BoberFett]

My wife and I are quite different now after 5.5 years.

• I'm ready for some adventure and excitement while my wife wants to continue with the everyday routine.
• She wants more kids, and even to adopt some after that. I'm content with one.
• She's recently become rather religious, I'm not even remotely so.

And these are just a few.

We're working on it, but it isn't easy. We were dangerously close to divorce, but have commited to working on things 100% and re-evaluating things later.

Isla - Great sig, I watched a Pooh video with my daughter last night. "Tut tut, it looks like rain."

 

[JenniZ]

Not married, but I was invovled for two years. Both of us are entirely different, we broke it off to save our friendship, becuase our relationship was dying horribly. Now we are best friends, but I am single.

 

[kassy]

 

[geoff2k]

*goofed*

 

[geoff2k]

Been married 2 years, and we haven't really changed much. We're getting much better at working as a "team", have gotten to accept each other's shortcomings, etc. I'll check back on this thread in a few more years, and let you all know if there have been any major disruptions to our blissful married life.

 

[geoff2k]

*goofed*

 

[purplehayes]

Kassy Whoa - information overload there. I'm working hard to convince myself I never read your post.


Me, married 5 years. My wife just keeps getting better. This thing about 'marriage takes work', when, where?!? I love it!

PH

 

[kassy]

My apologies purplehayes, I did not intend to offend, I will edit it.

 

[CliffC]

ChrichtonsGirl, you promised you'd never tell those things about me!

Met my wife in '85, lived together for 5 1/2 years and have been married the rest. About 2 years ago I asked her to move out and we seperated for 20 months. This year I asked her to come back and try to make it good and so far its been OK. Neither of us saw anyone else while we were seperated, at least I know I didn't but as far as I know she could've done the county(I doubt it though). Neither of us has changed dramatically since we've gotten back together and when the times get bad I just bite my tongue and swallow the blood and keep on getting up because I take my wedding vows very seriously and I'm gonna try to live up to them unless she makes it so hard to do so that I can't continue on.

If anyones got a woman that hasn't changed it's because they tore her out of the magazine and they have her hangin on their wall.

 

[AndrewR]

I suppose it depends on the degree of change, but unless you marry a blow-up doll (this includes living ones), your mate will change over the years. I've been married a year and a half, and we dated over two years prior to that. We have both changed -- mostly good, some bad. Other things have stayed the same though nothing major has changed for either of us.

Everyone is bound to change as they age unless you're already an old fart and completely set in your ways.

 

[IBhacknU]

<< I did not intend to offend, I will edit it. >>

kassy, that's one hell of an edit job

 

[Fathom5]

Don't even get me started.

 

[palad]

Married since Feb 18, 2000. The biggest change I've noticed is my wife's belly. When we got married, she wasn't pregnant. Now, she is. Due within a month, too.

 

[Total Refected Power]

We've known each other a long time and we are still so happy to see each others face at the end of a long day. We have grown, matured but the core personality is still there from those early days. Life brings changes and it seems we have always seen them through a very similar set of eyes. No one is perfect and you could pick each other to bits but you should build each other up in a marriage, not break down.

 

[Total Refected Power]

PALAD:

I see you've been busy.

Congratulations.

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

<< Don't even get me started. >>



I know, Fathom. We could write a book.

CliffC hon, sorry but I had to break my promise. The farting fried my brain cells. Seriously, I'm glad you're giving it a try again with your wife. I hope you can work it all out.

 

[sweetrobin]

E_mc_2 and I aren't married yet, but we are engaged to get married and have been living together over a year. We've been dating almost 2. We've both changed since we began our relationship. But I think we've both changed for the better. Keeping a relationship good is work, but it can't be fun too. I find something new every day to love E for. I hope we never stop growing and changing .. then we would have stopped living .. for what is life but constant change.

 

[Passions]

when a man leaves his wife for a younger girl and cleans up his act, kinda makes you wonder if something was wrong with the woman, no?

 

[ChrichtonsGirl]

<< when a man leaves his wife for a younger girl and cleans up his act, kinda makes you wonder if something was wrong with the woman, no? >>



Bite me.

 

[Ornery]

Married 22 years. Haven't changed at all actually. We've changed habits, but still the same at heart.

My theory is that people are born one way and die the same way. Nature is everything, nurture doesn't mean squat! People can be taught and learn to live by certain rules and act polite etc., but underneath they're still the same.

So, there you go. Get to really know the person you're planning to marry, because they WILL NOT change!

 

[AndrewR]

<< when a man leaves his wife for a younger girl and cleans up his act, kinda makes you wonder if something was wrong with the woman, no? >>



No, it doesn't mean that. It means that either the couple should never have been together (been there -- great woman, we just weren't compatible), or it means that he figured out that if you're a dick in a relationship, you receive nothing from it. On the other hand, if you try and work things out, it's better for both. Or, it means that he's a shallow, self-centered prick who wants a trophy wife and grooms himself so that others admire his vain self.

Could mean a lot of things, but I sincerely doubt it means what you say. If you were trying to be puckish, you wound squarely into the prickish category. You're a couple letters off.