Ive contemplated suicide many times. Mostly while driving. Just drop your foot on the gas pedal, and let go of the steering wheel, its that simple.
But then I think about how my mom would react to it (not well, Im afraid. She takes everything hard, and that would push her way over the edge to something even Ive never seen) how my sister would react to it (this would be even more volatile than my mother...*shudder*) how my friends would react to it, though Im sure they would recover rather quickly. Im told Im a great guy, but I dont believe it. Im just a jackass like everyone else. But one of the greatest thoughts in my mind is...Im stubborn by breeding, and theres no way I will let the devil beat me.
So I drive home, veg out to whatever music I can get in the cd player, and cry myself to sleep.
and I dont even know why Im typing this here on this forum. No one here wants to hear about my peice of sh*t life. Its not even that bad by some standards, but I cant imagine a hell that would be much worse, at least emotionally.
But then I think about how my mom would react to it (not well, Im afraid. She takes everything hard, and that would push her way over the edge to something even Ive never seen) how my sister would react to it (this would be even more volatile than my mother...*shudder*) how my friends would react to it, though Im sure they would recover rather quickly. Im told Im a great guy, but I dont believe it. Im just a jackass like everyone else. But one of the greatest thoughts in my mind is...Im stubborn by breeding, and theres no way I will let the devil beat me.
So I drive home, veg out to whatever music I can get in the cd player, and cry myself to sleep.
and I dont even know why Im typing this here on this forum. No one here wants to hear about my peice of sh*t life. Its not even that bad by some standards, but I cant imagine a hell that would be much worse, at least emotionally.