How shameful is living at home for a man at what age?

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FelixDeCat

Lifer
Aug 4, 2000
29,312
2,101
126
homes cost 11ty billion dollars, and if you are single making crap wages, you can live in the ghetto and get your crap stolen every day and your face pounded or you can stay home and be a fat pig. single, but fat and happy pig. did i mention lonely and single yet?
 

Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
11,578
1,741
126
homes cost 11ty billion dollars, and if you are single making crap wages, you can live in the ghetto and get your crap stolen every day and your face pounded or you can stay home and be a fat pig. single, but fat and happy pig. did i mention lonely and single yet?

Lonely and single forever. I have an uncle who is lonely and he hibernates in his apartment and gets drunk. I have a friend who took over his dying aunt's house. He has a house and only works in the summer at a motel. He's single and watches James Bond marathons in his skivvies in the dark! Then he cries to me about wanting a girlfriend.

Who wants to live like that?
 

HamburgerBoy

Lifer
Apr 12, 2004
27,112
318
126
Lonely and single forever. I have an uncle who is lonely and he hibernates in his apartment and gets drunk. I have a friend who took over his dying aunt's house. He has a house and only works in the summer at a motel. He's single and watches James Bond marathons in his skivvies in the dark! Then he cries to me about wanting a girlfriend.

Who wants to live like that?

I can't wait to be a creepy loser uncle in another decade or two. :awe:
 

jhansman

Platinum Member
Feb 5, 2004
2,768
29
91
What we have here is a generation that cannot get it's shit together, no way, no how. I know, I know, every generation says that about the next one, but in this case it's true. Even with a college education, many have no clue. Very sad.
 

biostud

Lifer
Feb 27, 2003
18,408
4,968
136
If I was financially able to have my own home I would. But I don't find it shameful to live with your parents, just a little weird.
 

PlanetJosh

Golden Member
May 6, 2013
1,815
143
106
I live in a home owned by my dad but I think it's not in the same way as the thread title. I'm lucky to live alone in a 2 bedroom condo that my dad owns. But he lives 8 miles away and rarely visits. He doesn't even drive anymore, he's 97. I'm in my late 50's.

So he has two homes, no mortgage on either. I guess you could say it's a fancy way of living at home? I didn't earn this place, I don't pay rent and a parent owns it. He just doesn't live here.
 

Mai72

Lifer
Sep 12, 2012
11,578
1,741
126
What we have here is a generation that cannot get it's shit together, no way, no how. I know, I know, every generation says that about the next one, but in this case it's true. Even with a college education, many have no clue. Very sad.

Why? Could complacency be the culprit? I guess when mom/dad give you everything you lose that drive.

I think many young people today don't have a large threshold. Life is hard, but today's youth don't want to face the difficulties of life. When mommy comes to Johnny's rescue whenever he has some difficulty in his life, what do you think is going to happen? Mom has good intentions, but little johnny is not going to be independent. He's going to go crying to mommy because his boss, friends, the world treated him badly. Today's youth is much different from previous generations.
 

mikegg

Golden Member
Jan 30, 2010
1,815
445
136
True story:

I still live at home. In fact, I live at home with my brother, sister, and my parents. We are living in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath basement unit in San Francisco. I share a room with my 30 year old brother. My 27 year old sister stays in my parents' room. We were immigrants in 1998 and came here with absolutely nothing.

My brother currently makes about 100k/year. My sister makes 60k/year. I make 130k/year. My parents both worked their butts off for the last 16 years at below minimum wage(paid with cash). We don't have any student/car loans. We paid everything off.

We saved and saved for 16 years. We ended up with $600k in savings.

Last month, we purchased a $1.3 million 3 unit house in San Francisco. We plan on living in one of the units, and rent the other 2 units out. After the rents and tax deductions, we pay almost nothing in mortgage.

Life was hard in the last 16 years to be honest. For a guy making $130k/year, I still lived in a room with my brother in a bunk bed. But that's what you have to do when you had nothing to begin with. I feel like I wasted a lot of my youth from age 22 to 25 because I had to live at home. But I felt like it was the right thing to do because my family is set for a very long time. I just couldn't see my family staying at our current place for so long. I could have easily rented a $2k/month apartment by myself but I wanted to save up to help buy a home for my family instead.

It's funny how people think living at home is shameful. Those people are lucky. Their parents have homes for them. And not everyone who lives at home is a loser and depends on parents. I live at home because I need to take care of my parents and family.
 
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ImpulsE69

Lifer
Jan 8, 2010
14,946
1,077
126
Parents are at fault. They refuse to say no. See it all the time. They'll bitch a blue streak about them, but refuse to actually give them the push they need to get their shit together.

I get that people get down on their luck, but many people just abuse and take it to a whole new level. Not just this gen, but the last gen too.
 
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hans007

Lifer
Feb 1, 2000
20,212
17
81
Wow this thread exploded.

In didn't check it for a day because well i had people over. Kind of ironic actually

I read a good amount of the responses. My friend says he has over 300k sitting around so its not a 'I spend all my money on toys' thing even though he spends a decent sum of money on toys. I think honestly he just doesn't like change and he's kind of a pack rat hoarder type.

I remembered just now that I bought a memory foam bed at Costco a couple years back and my buddy was like well I kind of want one but i have a perfectly good 20 year old.bed. so he has a mattress he feels attached to that he's had for 20 years. Thinking about it well , he might just be really comfortable with things. And I guess that probably is a good thing since we'll were all trying to be comfortable in the end.
 
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HamburgerBoy

Lifer
Apr 12, 2004
27,112
318
126
I remembered just now that I bought a memory foam bed at Costco a couple years back and my buddy was like well I kind of want one but i have a perfectly good 20 year old.bed. so he has a mattress he feels attached to that he's had for 20 years. Thinking about it well , he might just be really comfortable with things. And I guess that probably is a good thing since we'll were all trying to be comfortable in the end.

lol, yeah this applies to me to an extent. I have had the same mattress since ~4 years old, and I'm pretty sure it was an uncle's before that. Although my mom did buy me a memory foam thing a few years ago to lay on top of it, so I guess it doesn't count any more. It's like, who really needs that many toys or fancy new things?
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,656
687
126
ehh... i care more about whether someone has the means to move out at a certain age rather than whether they actually do. If you are making 120k/year, there is no shame in living at home because you know in your heart that you are capable of supporting yourself if you choose to.

Uh, what kind of logic is that? If you have the means to move out and don't, that makes it much worse IMO. If you don't have the means, through unemployment, underemployment, etc, people are a little more understanding.

Yeah, there always can be extenuating circumstances but as I said in a previous post, it is clear to me that in the case the OP mentioned, this guy has major maturity issues. He is going to have three cars, two of which are luxury cars, but lives with mommy and daddy. That's embarrassing.

What we have here is a generation that cannot get it's shit together, no way, no how. I know, I know, every generation says that about the next one, but in this case it's true. Even with a college education, many have no clue. Very sad.

In fairness to the current generation, they're dealing with many issues that some of us didn't have to deal with. College was still affordable (although starting to skyrocket) when I graduated in the early 90s, income has been stagnant for a long time, decent jobs are hard to find, and to combat all of this, people are wasting even more money on more education and their debt is snowballing. I used to be the biggest education snob around but as I've gotten older, I see college for what it is -- with a few exceptions (STEM, accounting/finance), it is a scam and with a few exceptions, law school and MBA programs are very risky propositions designed to drain money from people. I'm sure that last statement will elicit anger from many people and get me flamed, but anyone attending law school today outside of the top 10 programs is a fool unless someone else is paying 100% of the cost. The MBA is a little different but there have been dozens of articles in the last couple of years saying that the ROI is not there any longer. The kids today don't take any of this into account and schools aren't eager to reveal the truth to them.
 
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NetWareHead

THAT guy
Aug 10, 2002
5,854
154
106
True story:

I still live at home. In fact, I live at home with my brother, sister, and my parents. We are living in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath basement unit in San Francisco. I share a room with my 30 year old brother. My 27 year old sister stays in my parents' room. We were immigrants in 1998 and came here with absolutely nothing.

My brother currently makes about 100k/year. My sister makes 60k/year. I make 130k/year. My parents both worked their butts off for the last 16 years at below minimum wage(paid with cash). We don't have any student/car loans. We paid everything off.

We saved and saved for 16 years. We ended up with $600k in savings.

Last month, we purchased a $1.3 million 3 unit house in San Francisco. We plan on living in one of the units, and rent the other 2 units out. After the rents and tax deductions, we pay almost nothing in mortgage.

Life was hard in the last 16 years to be honest. For a guy making $130k/year, I still lived in a room with my brother in a bunk bed. But that's what you have to do when you had nothing to begin with. I feel like I wasted a lot of my youth from age 22 to 25 because I had to live at home. But I felt like it was the right thing to do because my family is set for a very long time. I just couldn't see my family staying at our current place for so long. I could have easily rented a $2k/month apartment by myself but I wanted to save up to help buy a home for my family instead.

It's funny how people think living at home is shameful. Those people are lucky. Their parents have homes for them. And not everyone who lives at home is a loser and depends on parents. I live at home because I need to take care of my parents and family.

:thumbsup: I also dont think its shameful to be living at home. You are not American and dont share this mindset that Americans have. You also look like you have your act together and were not a parasite to your parents. IMO there is nothing wrong with helping one another and banding together.

My parents were also immigrants and I am first generation born in this country. I lived at home until I was 25 and bought my first property at 24. My grandmother lived with us too. I was expected to contribute to the household, buy groceries, chores and help out where needed. I even paid rent to my father who never put it in his bank. When I bought my own house and moved out, my dad returned to me all of the rent I had paid over the years. He told me he didnt need the rent but thought the lesson it would teach me on financial responsibility was worth it.

Yes it was frustrating to not be able to bring friends and girls over, but that is what hotels are for. Besides I got out of there when I was 25, still in the prime of my youth and moved into a pad far better than the ratty ghetto apartments my friends were living in whose parents forced them out at 18. By living with family and saving up, I was able to buy a house at 24 and put down over over 35% of my home up front.

Now that I am older, the cycle repeats. My mother is getting close to retirement and I offered her the opportunity to come and live with me. I would prefer her in an in-law apartment but if I have to, she can stay with us. When I have kids, I also intend to assist them in saving money and boost them as far as possible.
 

Legios

Senior member
Feb 12, 2013
418
0
0
My dad and his family might be closer to moving in with than the other way around now. We sort of have a modern family thing going on right now. I have a half sister only 6 months older than my son, and my step mom is 2 years older than me. Hey im happy for dad but he isnt thinking through retirement. He sees it as a finite age but doesnt realize he still has 10+ years to get the last child out of the house.
 

Blackjack200

Lifer
May 28, 2007
15,995
1,685
126
I see college for what it is -- with a few exceptions (STEM, medical fields, accounting/finance, comp sci), it is a scam and with a few exceptions,

Uhh, you know what "STEM" stands for, right?

I'm sure that last statement will elicit anger from many people and get me flamed, but anyone attending law school today outside of the top 10 programs is a fool unless someone else is paying 100% of the cost.

Edit: Also wanted to comment on this. First, you mean T-14, and second, I used to blindly believe this as well, but my roomate graduated from Temple Law, which is a tier 2 school, only two years ago and he has an okay job (~ $60k) he expects to make $80-$100k in the next few years.
 
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IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,656
687
126
Uhh, you know what "STEM" stands for, right?

Yeah, I like to be more specific so there's no confusion. If I had a child today, I would only help with college if he/she picked one of the majors I listed. But anyway, I edited my post to make you happy.

Edit: Also wanted to comment on this. First, you mean T-14, and second, I used to blindly believe this as well, but my roomate graduated from Temple Law, which is a tier 2 school, only two years ago and he has an okay job (~ $60k) he expects to make $80-$100k in the next few years.
How much debt did he go into? He is one of the lucky ones. There are tens (hundreds?) of thousands of law school grads who are severely underemployed because of the lack of jobs and are in six figure debt.

And you're right, I should've said T-14 -- I was reading an article on the MBA the other day and I think I got confused and used some of the numbers from that article.
 
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njdevilsfan87

Platinum Member
Apr 19, 2007
2,331
251
126
What we have here is a generation that cannot get it's shit together, no way, no how. I know, I know, every generation says that about the next one, but in this case it's true. Even with a college education, many have no clue. Very sad.

Well it was your generation that caused this. Now you must fix this, by letting all of us live at your homes. It's the only hope AT can maintain the "everyone is a top 1%" status.

On topic though, if this guy has 300K laying around and three luxury cars, he should have his own place. Buying a place isn't necessarily a sunken cost, and can be treated as an investment - an investment he can live in and work on. It's not even that he afford his own place, but he can do it comfortably, so he's out of excuses. It's one thing to not purchase a place if it would make you completely dependent on the job, versus having a 5 year buffer because you've got so much saved up. I thought the purpose of saving up money like that was so that you had the freedom to do stuff like that.
 
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Imp

Lifer
Feb 8, 2000
18,829
184
106
How much debt did he go into? He is one of the lucky ones. There are tens (hundreds?) of thousands of law school grads who are severely underemployed because of the lack of jobs and are in six figure debt.

And you're right, I should've said T-14 -- I was reading an article on the MBA the other day and I think I got confused and used some of the numbers from that article.

Hope you didn't miss this gem about law school:

http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/08/the-law-school-scam/375069/

Found it yesterday. Very interesting and reiterates much of what I've read before in the past year or two.
 

Insomniator

Diamond Member
Oct 23, 2002
6,294
171
106
True story:

I still live at home. In fact, I live at home with my brother, sister, and my parents. We are living in a 2 bedroom, 1 bath basement unit in San Francisco. I share a room with my 30 year old brother. My 27 year old sister stays in my parents' room. We were immigrants in 1998 and came here with absolutely nothing.

My brother currently makes about 100k/year. My sister makes 60k/year. I make 130k/year. My parents both worked their butts off for the last 16 years at below minimum wage(paid with cash). We don't have any student/car loans. We paid everything off.

We saved and saved for 16 years. We ended up with $600k in savings.

Last month, we purchased a $1.3 million 3 unit house in San Francisco. We plan on living in one of the units, and rent the other 2 units out. After the rents and tax deductions, we pay almost nothing in mortgage.

Life was hard in the last 16 years to be honest. For a guy making $130k/year, I still lived in a room with my brother in a bunk bed. But that's what you have to do when you had nothing to begin with. I feel like I wasted a lot of my youth from age 22 to 25 because I had to live at home. But I felt like it was the right thing to do because my family is set for a very long time. I just couldn't see my family staying at our current place for so long. I could have easily rented a $2k/month apartment by myself but I wanted to save up to help buy a home for my family instead.

It's funny how people think living at home is shameful. Those people are lucky. Their parents have homes for them. And not everyone who lives at home is a loser and depends on parents. I live at home because I need to take care of my parents and family.


What you all did is indeed respectful, but... not necessary regardless of your values. If you are all making that kind of money steadily, you have your stuff together regardless. No need to share rooms for 15 of the best years of your lives in order to buy a million dollar + home. You could all have families, your own places, and still have enough to help your parents plenty. Now you all are still going to live in one of the units? Or is that for your parents while you get your own lives back somewhere else now?
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,656
687
126
Hope you didn't miss this gem about law school:

http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/08/the-law-school-scam/375069/

Found it yesterday. Very interesting and reiterates much of what I've read before in the past year or two.

Yeah I've been reading up on law school and MBAs the last couple of weeks. Even going to a top tier MBA school might be risky at this stage according to some of the articles I read. My viewpoint is that if you want to go to law school or get an MBA, do it on someone else's dime. And by "someone else's dime," I don't mean a loan.
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,656
687
126
On topic though, if this guy has 300K laying around and three luxury cars, he should have his own place. Buying a place isn't necessarily a sunken cost, and can be treated as an investment - an investment he can live in and work on. It's not even that he afford his own place, but he can do it comfortably, so he's out of excuses. It's one thing to not purchase a place if it would make you completely dependent on the job, versus having a 5 year buffer because you've got so much saved up. I thought the purpose of saving up money like that was so that you had the freedom to do stuff like that.

Yeah, if he really has 300K "laying around," I doubt very seriously that he is contributing much to his current living expenses at home and I agree, he needs to have his own place. This guy has issues.
 

IndyColtsFan

Lifer
Sep 22, 2007
33,656
687
126
A woman who likes to spend his man's money?

No. No self-respecting woman would want to date a 33 year-old guy who lives at home with mommy and daddy while owning 3 luxury cars. It might be a little different if mom and dad owned a compound with a separate guest house and the guy lived there (and paid for it), but I don't get the impression that's the case. Likewise, I wouldn't (and didn't) marry a woman who had no education or career. It wasn't because I was "after her money," but because I think those are important components of being an adult.
 

xeemzor

Platinum Member
Mar 27, 2005
2,599
1
71
Yeah I've been reading up on law school and MBAs the last couple of weeks. Even going to a top tier MBA school might be risky at this stage according to some of the articles I read. My viewpoint is that if you want to go to law school or get an MBA, do it on someone else's dime. And by "someone else's dime," I don't mean a loan.

Very true. I got a 710 GMAT and decided not to apply to Northwestern because the tuition and opportunity costs were way to high. If you already make over 6 figures with good career potential then it's really difficult to justify. I may go back for night school at some point but you better believe that I won't be paying anything close to sticker for it.
 
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