How to make an FPS, according to Cracked

[Bateluer]

http://www.cracked.com/article_18973_why-modern-war-fps-games-all-look-same-5Bchart5D.html

Or why they all seem to suck these days. Cookie cutter.

 

[nyker96]

they forgot to mention to have $100million production money in the bank for hiring top game designers and programmers.

 

[CottonRabbit]

they forgot to mention to have $100million production money in the bank for hiring top ad agencies and celebrity promoters.

Fixed

 

[manimal]

they forgot lots of shaky cam in the cut scenes

 

[Mike Gayner]

Eh, he picks up one four games and defines them as the current state of FPS's.

 

[ConstipatedVigilante]

He forgot putting laser sights on everything.

 

[shortylickens]

I gave up on FPS when Doom 3 came out.
Overhyped. Too expensive. Mediocre game play. It wasnt obvious at the time but that was the direction gaming was going to head. Doom 3 was the signal the golden age of gaming was over.

 

[Bateluer]

Eh, he picks up one four games and defines them as the current state of FPS's.

Eh, what were the total sales of those games again?

 

[HeXen]

I gave up on FPS when Doom 3 came out.
Overhyped. Too expensive. Mediocre game play. It wasnt obvious at the time but that was the direction gaming was going to head. Doom 3 was the signal the golden age of gaming was over.

Golden age? maybe you got too old and nostalgic memories forced you to sit in a rocking chair by the window, cause i'd rather play any modern FPS over any from the 90's. Sure they were fun back then...but this is now. the old ones are very basic and bland by comparison but thats how games were plus we were all much younger. FPS's have done nothing but improve, in content and graphics along with interaction and gameplay.

lets play an old fps game from the "golden days"
"run down stone hallway"
"find open door into square, stone room A"
"shoot pixelated floating things"
"run into square, stone room B"
"run down another stone hallway"
"watch out for pixelated, muscular monster shooting rockets"

yeah, that stuff was cool when i was 15, but not at 34...its like trying to play with lincoln logs again
***yawn***

 

[Jjoshua2]

Man that is totally awesome. I was laughing on almost all of those. Totally legit! Thx for posting man!

 

[maniacalpha1-1]

They should make a Stargate FPS where it's US and Russians against Goauld and Jaffa.

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

Golden age? maybe you got too old and nostalgic memories forced you to sit in a rocking chair by the window, cause i'd rather play any modern FPS over any from the 90's. Sure they were fun back then...but this is now. the old ones are very basic and bland by comparison but thats how games were plus we were all much younger. FPS's have done nothing but improve, in content and graphics along with interaction and gameplay.


yeah, that stuff was cool when i was 15, but not at 34...its like trying to play with lincoln logs again
***yawn***

http://systemicbabble.com/videogames/level-design-then-and-now/

Lol yea those old school FPSes were so simplistic compared to today... oh wait...

 

[xboxist]

There's reasons to both love and loathe this era of gaming. Simple as that.

 

[HeXen]

http://systemicbabble.com/videogames/level-design-then-and-now/

Lol yea those old school FPSes were so simplistic compared to today... oh wait...

compare that to a map of FC2, Oblivion..etc and get back to me. But seriously, you compare them to map layout? just cause older fps's has bland room after room doesnt give it anything other than more bare rooms to go into
Metro 2033 is corridoor, but look at the details per scene, the AI, the tense moments cinematics it brings....has far more than say Hexen 2

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

compare that to a map of FC2, Oblivion..etc and get back to me. But seriously, you compare them to map layout? just cause older fps's has bland room after room doesnt give it anything other than more bare rooms to go into
Metro 2033 is corridoor, but look at the details per scene, the AI, the tense moments cinematics it brings....has far more than say Hexen 2

Making it look really pretty doesn't make it complex.

 

[motsm]

lets play an old fps game from the "golden days"
"run down stone hallway"
"find open door into square, stone room A"
"shoot pixelated floating things"
"run into square, stone room B"
"run down another stone hallway"
"watch out for pixelated, muscular monster shooting rockets"

I don't see your point? Anything can be simplified into an absolutely silly and pointless list like that, no matter how mind numbingly complex it is.

 

[jlee]

lets play an old fps game from the "golden days"
"run down stone hallway"
"find open door into square, stone room A"
"shoot pixelated floating things"
"run into square, stone room B"
"run down another stone hallway"
"watch out for pixelated, muscular monster shooting rockets"

*watch cinematic intro*
*play through intro/flashback scene*
*watch cinematic cutscene*
*follow compass through pre-determined path*
*shoot baddies on sight*
*follow compass again*
*try to make intentional wrong turn but can't because it's blocked with wreckage*
*follow compass again*
*shoot baddies on sight*
*watch cinematic cutscene*

repeat.

Your point?

 

[Maximilian]

All i want in an FPS is the chance to fire a laser gatling cannon, is that so much to ask? I hate realism :thumbsdown:

At least fallout 3 got it right, not really FPS but close enough.

 

[jlee]

All i want in an FPS is the chance to fire a laser gatling cannon, is that so much to ask? I hate realism :thumbsdown:

At least fallout 3 got it right, not really FPS but close enough.

A laser with a single 'barrel' has an insufficient rate of fire? I'd think a solid beam is about as good as it gets.

 

[AyashiKaibutsu]

A laser with a single 'barrel' has an insufficient rate of fire? I'd think a solid beam is about as good as it gets.

Presumably you'd have it gatling for cooling purposes.

 

[jlee]

Presumably you'd have it gatling for cooling purposes.

Lasers aren't belt-fed so I can't see a reason for a rotating assembly. I'm no electrical engineer, though.

 

[Maximilian]

Its more about coolness (not temperature) factor than anything else. Mini nuke gatling cannon would also suffice :thumbsup:

 

[erikistired]

compare that to a map of FC2, Oblivion..etc and get back to me. But seriously, you compare them to map layout? just cause older fps's has bland room after room doesnt give it anything other than more bare rooms to go into
Metro 2033 is corridoor, but look at the details per scene, the AI, the tense moments cinematics it brings....has far more than say Hexen 2

the original doom was way more tense than metro 2033.

 

[jlee]

Its more about coolness (not temperature) factor than anything else. Mini nuke gatling cannon would also suffice :thumbsup:

 

[Throckmorton]

They forgot the ugly environments. I miss the rolling hills of Tribes