How to properly break up?

[spidey07]

Repeat after me....

"it's not working.

It's me, not you.

I still love you though.

But it's me, not you. I wish you all the best luck and just remember I love you so much. It's me, not you."

You're fine from there on out. Plus if you need a booty call it will always be there.

 

[Ronstang]

Just remember that when a woman is done with you she won't have any second thought about simply cutting you loose once she finds her parachute guy. If you don't love her anymore and don't want to be with her don't let her guilt you into an unhappy situation.

 

[aurareturn]

It's so hard it's driving me crazy. She came over at 11PM just to talk to me. She was pouring in tears and kept on saying that she just wants to be with me. I just feel so terrible. It's like my heart is broken after I hear that stuff from her. God, I just want this to be over with.

 

[weezergirl]

it was hard for me to break up with my last bf too....

you just have to suck it up and realize that no matter what they say, they don't really want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way. it will just take awhile for them to understand it and see it. but if you stay with her because you feel bad...that will just make the situation worse.

break it off as soon as you can, and dont see/talk to her after. give her space and time to get over you. out of sight out of mind is the best way to get over someone. she will try to keep clinging onto you. hopefully she has other friends....

 

[aurareturn]

We go to the same school.

 

[d33pt]

sorry, but i have to do it.

pics?

 

[aurareturn]

Sorry guys, I don't want to post any pics of her on the internet. She's not the hottest girl in the world but she is definitely pretty good. That's all I can say.

 

[Whoozyerdaddy]

I'm guessing the OP is.... 17?

Just a word of advice, right now she's crying. When you actually sack up and drop her, get ready for the REAL drama to start.

Unstable girl break up routine...

1. Cries a lot
2. Calls/comes over at weird hours
3. Tries to bribe you with crazy sex - let's you do/suggests things you've never done with her before (You must resist as she has probably stopped taking her BC at this point)
4. If 1-3 fail - now comes the subtle hints that she might hurt herself
5. If 4 fails to draw any sympathy from you (but she still has your attention) the threats get worse, up to and including talk of suicide
6. If you're still listening but insisting that it's over she may even do something but with pleanty of safeguards in place to make sure that she's ok

Occasionally 4-6 are substitued with "I'm pregnant" because you cracked at step 3 and gave in to your carnal desires. Don't fall for that one either. I'll repeat... Stop having sex with her because she has probably "forgotten" to take her pill the last couple of weeks.

This is my advice, take it for what it's worth.
<--- Been there, got the t-shirt.

 

[angminas]

It is possible to love someone but not want to be around them. There's more than one kind of love, and relationships can change faster than feelings. Putting it as simply as some people have above is not helpful.

There are few details, but it sounds like she's clingy and immature. If so, she's not ready for a serious relationship, and she won't get there by you staying with her. You would be enabling her to avoid facing her problems. This should make it easier for you to face what (sounds like it) must be done.

If you back out, you have to do it completely. A clingy person will look for any indication that you want her back, and she'll manipulate you into making it happen. Even if not, you won't be doing her any favors. Don't speak firmly and then back down.

Don't be an ass about it. Remember that everyone can be foolish- maybe even you someday. Just be man enough to do what's best for her, you, and everyone around you both. If you come from that perspective and give it a little thought, the words will come to you. It's ok to use a script if you have to- it beats saying the wrong thing.

 

[JEDIYoda]

I say put an egg in your boot and beat it...

 

[Aikouka]

Last time I wanted to break up with a girl I just stopped talking to her... mean and cruel, but it worked . I had a grasp on her personality and I knew she wouldn't initiate a conversation but rather wait for me to do it... then get fed up if I wouldn't do it. Also, I think the whole, "I don't want to go to that because I don't like dancing" part didn't help .

She sounds kind of like this one girl who's still chasing after me though... the kind that will message you with "Guess what?" "what?" "I miss you!" The best thing you can do with someone who's a bit crazy, is to level with 'er and be firm about it. Although, sometimes you're playing with fire... when I told "crazy chickie" that she was crazy (I used nicer terms ) she flipped out on me.

 

[DanTMWTMP]

if you guys are below 20. then LEAVE her NOW. She's just damn too young to understand anything anyways. if you guys are in your mid 20s, please elaborate on why exactly you don't want to be with her.

 

[Luthien]

Originally posted by: FallenHero
Tell her to truth and dont ever speak to her again. It will help you not feel as bad as well as speed up her recovery. She will be fine, life goes on.

Thank you for saying this FallenHero! OP break it off and leave her in peace you will only torture her trying to still be in her life. Let her move on.

 

[imported_Nacelle]

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP
if you guys are below 20. then LEAVE her NOW. She's just damn too young to understand anything anyways. if you guys are in your mid 20s, please elaborate on why exactly you don't want to be with her.

What is it about her that you don't like. Just the fact you don't feel the love isn't always a good reason. I don't always feel love about my wife. But, I've stuck it out for 15 years now. There are a lot of days, I'd like to push her out the door and nail it shut.

 

[Spineshank]

Originally posted by: loki8481

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly, simply, kindly, but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear jerking scene
If you wanna date other people say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time,
And haven't been too serious,
There's still a feeling of rejection
When someone says she preferres the company of others
To your exclusive company,
But if you're honest, and direct,
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech when you brake the news,
The boy will respect you for your frankness,
And honestly he'll apeciate the kind of straight foward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry baby you will remain friends

Thats from Nada Surf isnt it?

 

[DanTMWTMP]

Originally posted by: Nacelle

Originally posted by: DanTMWTMP
if you guys are below 20. then LEAVE her NOW. She's just damn too young to understand anything anyways. if you guys are in your mid 20s, please elaborate on why exactly you don't want to be with her.

What is it about her that you don't like. Just the fact you don't feel the love isn't always a good reason. I don't always feel love about my wife. But, I've stuck it out for 15 years now. There are a lot of days, I'd like to push her out the door and nail it shut.

ya of course. just like our siblings, or my little brother. overall, I love the kid to death, but sometimes...well, you know how brothers can be. hehehehe. same applies to parents while growing up. but ya, you do have a point that i failed to address/realize/think-about at the time I posted it.

 

[MasonLuke]

this is what i did once when i wanted to break up with someone just to move on to better things. i bought her a diamond tennis bracelet and gave it to her and told her i cared but i think its best we go our separate ways. although she was sad, the bracelet cheered her up real good. oh yeah, dont forget the last bedroom session and pound her very hard!