How to punish the boy, ideas?

[alkemyst]

well it depends on the kids....I wouldn't be spying ever....all of those cases the kids have pushed their borders knowing a 'watchful eye or ear' was close by.

soap didn't work for me, I actually bit the bar in halfway and later on puked due to it (Irish Spring). I kept saying F F F F F F F F over and over again as my mom hit me with a wooden spoon which then broke.



My mom was in tears, and even today I feel bad about that.

I still say F a lot.

Å

 

[slackerinabox]

Originally posted by: Yeeny

Originally posted by: Pex

Originally posted by: Yeeny
Maybe alot of parents don't know what goes on, but I do. My kids don't go anywhere without me knowing when, where, why and what time will you be home. They are not allowed to just hang out with friends, and wander all over town all day with no where to go. I have phone numbers of where they are when they do go, and I am a hard ass about who they hang out with. In school, sure, I can't control that as much, but I really am not worried about my kids.

They are always winning things like Student of the Week, they are involved in Friendship Club, and Make A Difference Day club, they go to nursing homes to visit the elderly, I have three great kids, who I am very proud of. Kids like to know you care, and are involved in their lives, and that includes discipline.

ahah you think you do...but sadly its impossible that you can never know even the half of where they go and what they do unless your kid has a camera strapped to his head.

nope, I know I do. They are only 12, 10 and 6, of course I do. And any parent worth anything would too, at those ages. Thats what being a parent is all about.

Hey,
When I was 13 my parents claimed to know exactly where I was at every moment of the day.. My mom is extremely protective and watched over me like a hawk.. The only time she would rest easy is when I was at school - she knew exactly where I was so she didnt' worry about it.. Only I went to the kind of school where I could just walk across the street and drink vodka mixed with OJ while my friends snorted horse tranqs and did E... That was when I'm 13 .... In fact, I cut class probably to rebel a bit against my mother's very christian, very controlling ways.. She would monitor every moment so I loved screwing up when she wasn't around..

 

[Ranger X]

Yeeny, many teenagers use that word. When I was a teenager, I was using that word but I didn't use it to insult anyone. It's hard getting away with not using it because it becomes a habit once your classmates start to use it around you. Ask him where he picked it up and tell him to never use it around the house ever again or you will send him off to military school.

 

[hoyaguru]

Do what most parents do these days, threaten him but then don't follow up on it. He'll quickly learn that he can pretty much do whatever he wants without consequences.

Or, do what my parents did, backhand, beatings, hit him with a wooden spoon. Works like a charm.

 

[alkemyst]

btw I just got back from Disney....hearing 'F***ing A man!' was not a rarity with children. My wife was most concerned as she is pretty conservative.

Å

 

[daveymark]

I wouldn't recommend soap in the mouth, it gives the wrong signal. It's an ineffective measure. Whenever I said a dirty word, my mouth was washed with soap. It produced a horrid taste, but even worse, it was insulting. I knew that it wouldn't clean up my speech. I knew it was out of control behavior on my mom's part. I just saved up the dirty words for my friends, and my brother - IN PRIVATE. Which is just what is happening here. I learned nothing, except to avoid letting my mom hear me swear. The goal here is to try to teach kids how to be model citizens capable of contrbuting to society. So don't overreact. Ask yourself whether he is modeling the language he hears around him. Use this as an opportunity to talk to him about how this kind of talk affects other people, and be sure he cares. If he continues swearing, make sure he understands the he can offend people when he says these things. Explain why it is offensive. Many times, children around this age who use this language are often insecure and need this kind of language to draw attention to themselves, or to appear older and tough. Praising him for his admirable qualities may be the best way to make him feel less insecure. And he'll actually listen to you instead of feeling resentment. I don't think any punishment is necessary if it's the first time you've heard him say it.

 

[CastorTr0y]

Just slap him in the face and he will never say it in front of you again.

 

[dabuddha]

Spankings are in order.

 

[Lager]

I would not allow them to visit ATOT. They would scream.

 

[DougK62]

I like the idea that someone had about making him write a paper about it. That's good for someone his age.

Oh, and don't forget to tell him that if he curses the terrorists win.

 

[lancestorm]

Appropriate for the season: give him soap in the mouth just like on the movie A Christmas Story.

 

[jimrawr]

Big deal... everyone swears, including the president of the united states..

as long as it doesnt get out of hand and he is swearing constantly, i dont see a problem

 

[imported_Tomato]

Sit him down, explain why it's wrong/offensive/distasteful/inappropriate to use such language, tell him you're disappointed in him, and basically let him think it out. If he does it again, start removing priviledges.

 

[yoda291]

scold him for swearing. That sort of language should never become comfortable in the home. Out in the street, whatever, but the house is different altogether.

Then beat his behind for lying. That's bad.

 

[Walleye]

just beat his ass for lying.

that's not tolerable.

bah, screw it. beat him up and dont tell him why.

 

[WinkOsmosis]

I don't understand why these words are bad..

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: Encryptic
Wash his mouth out with soap.

I do this and it works, believe me.

 

[CPA]

I can't wait until most of you who do not have children, have them. Talking to them DOES NOT WORK! You have only been led to believe that by a bunch of feel good, fuzzy liberal educators. The current generation of kids are the "don't hurt their self-esteem" generation. And look what that's got us.

 

[imported_Tomato]

Originally posted by: CPA
I can't wait until most of you who do not have children, have them. Talking to them DOES NOT WORK! You have only been led to believe that by a bunch of feel good, fuzzy liberal educators. The current generation of kids are the "don't hurt their self-esteem" generation. And look what that's got us.

Maybe you're misunderstanding the meaning of "talking to" kids. It's not a fuzzy/happy/everyone feel good kinda talk when they misbehave... it's a serious, expanding-their-understanding-of-why-things-are-inappropriate talk, oftentimes infinitely more effective than brute force or whatever other crude method you may have in mind.

 

[blakeatwork]

Here

 

[notfred]

Wow, you're a fvcking prude. You going to wash my mouth out with soap now?

 

[CPA]

Originally posted by: Dezign

Originally posted by: CPA
I can't wait until most of you who do not have children, have them. Talking to them DOES NOT WORK! You have only been led to believe that by a bunch of feel good, fuzzy liberal educators. The current generation of kids are the "don't hurt their self-esteem" generation. And look what that's got us.

Maybe you're misunderstanding the meaning of "talking to" kids. It's not a fuzzy/happy/everyone feel good kinda talk when they misbehave... it's a serious, expanding-their-understanding-of-why-things-are-inappropriate talk, oftentimes infinitely more effective than brute force or whatever other crude method you may have in mind.

In the eye's of a child, it usually is fuzzy/happy/everyone feels good. Because 1) they sense no threat, 2) they can not fully comprehend the ramifications based solely on words (try understanding freefall without ever skydiving, as an analogy), 3) the talking "punishment" is lucid, at best, and only shows the child that there is no current bite.

Dezign, I by no means know everything about parenting, no one does, but I have 4 young kids and have tried all matters of punishment. Some work better than others, and none of my kids react the same. But I can tell you that talking to them about the behavior and ramifications works the least.

I am currently in a situation with my oldest son (10) in which he was just caught stealing items and money from school. He knows the ramifications of lieing and theft. I have talked to him many times about property, in particular. About "what is yours is yours, what is mine is mine" (in simplistic terms). I have worked in a prison and have discussed with him why they exist, what they're like and how easy it is to do something wrong and end up in one. I have talked to him about my own experiences at his age, how a State Trooper showed up at our door one evening to speak with my parents about some criminal activity I was involved in. All of this was discussed prior to this week. He can listen, but he can not comprehend. Now, he will suffer the consequences, he will see what the ramifications are. Not one his second or third offense, but first! I spoke with an officer today who will be confronting him, money was taken out of HIS savings to pay back what was owed. Additionally, he will be working off the rest (he stole from me also) at home.

I didn't whoop his a$$, but I didn't just sit down and talk to him. He is being punished accordingly.


oh, and sometimes brute force is needed. You just have to know when to use it.

 

[Black88GTA]

I honestly don't know how you should discipline the child. But, you DO NOT know as much as you think you do about what he's doing. I can guarantee it. My mom thought she knew everything about me too (and still does), but she didn't know the half .

You cannot control what he hears at school, so it's probably best to attempt to educate him about why he shouldn't swear, rather than punish him when you hear it. This will only cause him to put his guard up when you're around.

Oh, one other thing. Definitely DO NOT reward the little brother for tattling on the older one. Nobody likes a narc. If he learns at an early age that telling on people is a good thing, he'll have no friends, and wonder why he gets beaten up all the time .

 

[EagleKeeper]

Originally posted by: Encryptic
Wash his mouth out with soap.

Liquid soap works wonders. Our kids learned quickly that they also could not wash it out of their mouth.

One time works for a life-time.

Problem is that it should be done at the time.

At this point, the threat of soap for any unacceptable language and some type of grounding, restriction is about the best that you can do. Memory span of an infraction for a child is low.

Just look at all the ATOT members who get vacations.

 

[Ameesh]

you should punish his the other one for being a tattle tale and not being lyal to his brother for such a small thing.