Wed Nov 14, 2012 at 09:38 AM PST
All Secessionists Can Self-Secede By Renouncing Their Citizenship
by Gary NortonFollow
There have been the tens of thousands of people who have signed petitions expressing the desire for their states to secede from the union.
Well, there is no state that is dumb enough to want to do that, especially not the states where most of these petitions signers come from. You see, the people who run those states know that they are on the federal dole.
They receive much more in federal benefits than they pay in federal taxes.
However, the folks behind these petitions are clearly of a mind to sever their ties to the United States. They think they would be better off if they were not burdened by being U.S. citizens.
Luckily for them there is an easy solution. Federal law provides an easy process for people to renounce their citizenship. There are a few requirements, but they are easily met. All they have to do is appear in person before a U.S. consular or diplomatic officer in a foreign country (normally at a U.S. Embassy or Consulate) and sign an oath of renunciation.
Sure they will have to pay all the taxes the owe and a special tax penalty under the Heroes Earnings Assistance and Relief Tax Act of 2008. But that's a tiny price to pay for freedom from the United States and its evil Kenyan, Socialist, post hoc colonial, communist President and all those who voted for him. Besides, America is doomed anyway with but a few months left.
There you have it. For all those wishing to secede, the power is in your hands. Take a drive down to Guadalajara, visit the local U.S. consulate, and sign a piece of paper. In no time at all you will be relieved of the burden of U.S. citizenship. And there's more good news. There is one country sure to accept you with open arms. It is called Dimbulbistan.
There is also a possibility that if you solicit contributions there may be folks willing to give you gas money.
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