How would you feel if your wife/GF is more successful than you?

[MrCraphead]

related question: Do any of you enjoy your jobs/careers enough that it would bother you if your wife insisted that you be the one to stay home and raise the kids so she could focus on her career

For me, that'd be really tough for me. Raised in a traditional, conservative asian family, it's been hardwired in me that the wife stays at home to tend to the house and kids while the husband is out making the bucks. Not saying it's right or wrong, but it's just what I'm used to, and it'd be really hard for me to reverse that. :\

But as others have said, it's not about how much you make, it's about what's best for the family and I guess I'll just have to hammer that into my head.

 

[Fireball77]

LOL!!! So you really think that a guy could take care of the house and care for kids better than a woman? innocent question, really.

Since my wife started working I have picked up alot of the responsibilites, even more than before, I feel I can get more done than she can becasue of one thing.....Multi-tasking.....a hard learned computer technique. I can do 3-4 things at once, that is why I can accomplish so much more.

 

[Piano Man]

Wouldn't bother me at all. I'm going to be a teacher, so this will probably be the case in my life.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Fireball77

LOL!!! So you really think that a guy could take care of the house and care for kids better than a woman? innocent question, really.

Since my wife started working I have picked up alot of the responsibilites, even more than before, I feel I can get more done than she can becasue of one thing.....Multi-tasking.....a hard learned computer technique. I can do 3-4 things at once, that is why I can accomplish so much more.

Actually I disagree,I think women, mothers in particular are hard wired to multi task much more effectively than men, we can listen for a tea kettle to boil while changing a diaper and being aware of a toddler playing in the next room all the while compiling the week's grocery list in our heads.This is why so many women are such effective managers. he one downfall of women is that we often do not delegate responsibility well.

 

[SleepyGuy]

Right now my GF (she the best!) makes around 10K more than I do. She a financial geek and i'm a computer geek. She doesn't mind the idea of me staying at home if she happens to make 100k salary. How would i feel?... I would probably run my own computer business part time (webdisign, support, etc). I don't mind working at all but if i don't have to I won't... I think she's creeping that salary range soon! Hopefully right in time for summer!

 

[Nefrodite]

if your girl is smarter then you, shes more likely to demand more from you around the house, sacrifices in your career to take care of children etc. or no? supposedly only 1/4 of top achieving men find wives that bear em children.. whereas top achieving women don't really pop out babies.. ah who knows

 

[Turin39789]

I'd be happy for her.

But I'm not comfortable with success=money, the thread should be if she earns more than you.

 

[goog]

Originally posted by: cchen
I'd be happy for her

I'd be more happy for me

 

[krakken]

If it were my wife, I'd be happy. If it were my girlfriend... I'd be a little jealous.. but still be happy for her.

 

[toant103]

then i dont have to work as hard if my gf/wife make more than me.

 

[datalink7]

LOL!!! So you really think that a guy could take care of the house and care for kids better than a woman? innocent question, really

Yup. Nurturing isn't a innate ability. It is a learned one. Both men and women have equal ability to learn how to be nurturing parents.

My mom and dad made an agreement when I was born. My mom would get to be home the first 9 years of my life, and my dad got the other 9 as a stay at home parent. He actually only got to be a stay at home parent for 5 years though before he needed to get a job (3rd unexpected child put a crimp in plans ), but it worked out great for those 5 years. In fact, as far as "taking care of the house" went, my dad is actually better at keeping it clean than my mom. My mom isn't very organized.

 

[rahvin]

So you guys have no problem depending on your wife/gf for money? :\ I dunno, I guess that's just so weird to me, makes me feel as if the roles have been reversed and the grrl might "run" the relationship.

Why do you fear a loss of control? A true relationship is one in which both parties open up to each other with mutal support and respect of ideas and is about sharing life and responsibility. It's not about you being in control. Learn that now and you will have an easier time in relationships.

 

[wyvrn]

Doesn't really bother me. She makes about twice what I made last year before I started going back to school full time. But it was a trade off because I worked to put her through school and when I graduate my salary should be closer to hers. Either way, I am damn proud of her.

 

[poopaskoopa]

It'd be/was a touchy thing for me. The effect of Money/Power thing is hard to escape. So many of you have said "Hell Yeah", but I'm betting not all will handle it as well as expected.

 

[Stallion]

my Wife makes about 25K more then me and has a great job. She has a future, skills, gets stock bonuses and is looked up to be her peers.

I am maxed out in my job, no skills,no future, but I still make a boat load of money though.

 

[JetsFanatic]

I would love it if my wife made more than me

 

[Hammer]

How would I feel?

I'd be surprised.

 

[absolutiza]

that would suck...

 

[Tallgeese]

When she had a rough day at the office, I would give her all the sex she wanted, all night long...

*now why is it so tough the other way 'round?*

 

[CurtOien]

For many years I made more than my wife.
Now she makes more than me and I love it.
We share, so the more either of us makes, the more we make.

 

[Maetryx]

I'm very accustomed to being the financial side of the relationship. I earn all the money, make almost all the financial decisions, do most of the shopping, and most of the other spending. This is mostly due to my wife going to the university for about 5 years, and graduating a few weeks ago.

I simply can't imagine that her income or job status will surpass my own because I have about an 8 year head start by being 4 years older, and going to college right out of highschool. The idea sounds disturbing at first (that she outpace me). But then again, so long as she wasn't asking me to do something different (say, quit my job and stay home), it would rock. We would be swimming in money. My income is just enough to keep us in place every month.

I'm seriously looking forward to her getting an income. Which she will do sometime this summer. Or else .

 

[xirtam]

She is more successful than me. She found the only perfect person in the universe. She just doesn't know it yet.

Actually, I'm not perfect, and I don't have a girlfriend... but I feel fine, thanks for asking.

 

[CrazyRyan]

Wouldn't care I'm a slacker

 

[zeruty]

But to answer your question, times have changed, money is money. If my wife / gf is making more money, that just means that she'll be able to support herself rather than one person supporting both. I don't however, think it's gone as far as the husband staying home with the kids rather than the wife though.

I agree
I wouldnt mind her making more than me, or less than me, doesn't matter.
I wouldnt be comfortable being unemployed and leeching off of her though....
I wouldnt mind working to support her so she doesnt have to work, but the other way around would be uncomfortable
me work + her work = ok
me work + her not work = ok
me not work + her work = not ok

and I dont care who makes more than who, as long as we have enough to live off of

Although... I still gotta find a gf/wife, that is my prob
I do want a wife who is smarter than me.... last few gf's have been pretty damned ditzy :\

 

[Dragnov]

Okay, I'm going to be killed here possibly, but I kinda like the typical family roles and stuff. I'm not suggesting the womens role is in the house or anything, nor would I prevent anyone from advancing their careers, but I would like to earn more money than my signifcant other. I would never break up with someone regarding it or make it the sole reason for not liking them, but it MAY bother me somewhat to be honest.