How would you prepare for a 5 year prison sentence?

[CrazyLazy]

Hypothetical situation. Lets say you were recently busted for a drug offense, and weren't able to convince the judge to allow you to join the military and erase the charges.

So instead you have to complete your 5 years in prison. How do you prepare in the 6 months you have before entering prison? What would you do in prison to keep yourself alive? How would you spend your downtime there? People with firsthand experience in the area would be great.

 

[captains]

1. gun
2. head
3. pull trigger

or run to mexico which is prolly the same thing

 

[Shawn]

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/i...B0GL._SL500_AA280_.jpg

 

[minendo]

Big difference between local jail and prison. Which one is it?

 

[CrazyLazy]

Sorry, didn't quite know what terms to use. I meant prison.

 

[imported_weadjust]

I would schedule my DVR to record the series Inside American Jail on TruTv Newtwork.

http://www.trutv.com/shows/ins...erican_jail/index.html

 

[Vehemence]

Sell all my Diesels

 

[RESmonkey]

I'd run away?

 

[dbk]

Cover your anus (pronounced like asus)

 

[LtPage1]

I'd start seriously working out and stocking up on really dense reading material.

 

[Vehemence]

Originally posted by: LtPage1
I'd start seriously working out and stocking up on really dense reading material.

Work out that winker pretty well too. Practice your soap holding. Get a crazy tattoo. Reduce your gag reflex.

 

[slsmnaz]

tape up my rear and re-watch the South Park where they learn to poop out their mouths

 

[EKKC]

Originally posted by: dbk
Cover your anus (pronounced like asus)

with CONCRETE PUTTY!

 

[meltdown75]

i'd try to find some ex-cons that could give me tips on how to make it through the five years with my sanity still intact.

 

[Psynaut]

I haven't been to prison but I have thought about this question before. I would do three things, with a fourth in the back of my mind for later.

1) Join a martial Arts or Boxing class and spend 10 hours a day practicing.
2) Spend 2 hours a day in the Gym getting as buff as possible.
3) In whatever time I had left I would learn everything I could about how to meditate.

4) I would decide what college degree I want to earn while I am there.

 

[Mo0o]

Originally posted by: slsmnaz
tape up my rear and re-watch the South Park where they learn to poop out their mouths

That doesn't sound like a good plan. Just means not only are you give bjs all teh time, you're gonna be tasting your own shit as well

 

[meltdown75]

i think preparing by getting all "tough" would only make the inmates want to break you more.

 

[MotF Bane]

Originally posted by: LtPage1
I'd start seriously working out and stocking up on really dense reading material.

Perhaps add martial arts of some sort to that list.

 

[Capt Caveman]

Did Zane Johnson get banned here and you're asking for him?

 

[NFS4]

Learn to touch my toes without bending my knees

 

[1sikbITCH]

So the judge will not let you go into the military, yet he is willing to let you go home for 6 months before doing a 5 year bit? Is this a cartoon?

 

[SoulAssassin]

I'd throw a party at a local club owned by my Russian mafia cohorts while I try to figure out who it was that ratted me out. Then I'd have my best friend kick my ass so I look hardcore when I go to prison. My Dad would tempt me to run and start a new life but I would decide to serve the time right before the credits rolled.

 

[AccruedExpenditure]

Originally posted by: 1sikbITCH
So the judge will not let you go into the military, yet he is willing to let you go home for 6 months before doing a 5 year bit? Is this a cartoon?

yes

 

[mjh]

Make sure to say good bye to family and friends. Get money ready to "put on the books" so you can purchase stuff from the commissary and buy candies or soda.

Get ready to head into jail, keeping your mouth shut, head down and having a low profile. Don't piss anyone off, and fight back only if attacked first. Don't mouth off to the deputies and/or guards, or your five years will suddenly feel longer.

 

[imported_Imp]

Originally posted by: CrazyLazy
Hypothetical situation. Lets say you were recently busted for a drug offense, and weren't able to convince the judge to allow you to join the military and erase the charges.

That's gotta mean I've got a major reserve stash hidden somewhere. I'll get that, OD and finish it.