I am SO dead

"I've always had a problem living beyond my means. I know I have a problem and really want to work this out. I hope she gives me the chance"

Fritzo, you do not deserve that chance. Nevertheless, I do hope you give your family and yourself that chance. You have the situation in your control, not the other way around.

"First 15 minutes in the door, she wanted me out by next weekend. We have two young kids that would be scarred for life if their father left during Christmas, so I think I'm going to be able to stay."

Well, I guess you do have a chance to redeem yourself. Get creative fast! Take care of your debts and redeem yourself. Necessity is the mother of invention.

If I were in this situation, in spite of the children, I would ask him to leave and straighten himself first. I could work with him whilst he's away if he's serious about changing. You aren't enabling your family by spending unreasonably; rather, you're disabling your family. Not only did you spend foolishly, you concealed the truth thereby opening wounds and distrust. I really wish, not you, but your family well. Hope you work things out, and get your acts together! Keep us updated. (Of course, the above are my expressed opinion, not a divine revelation or truth.)

[Red Dawn:] "You are a fine one to talk, you haven't even come to terms on whether you are going to digest or purge your dinner yet!"

LMAO! It wouldn't be so funny if it were true. Good one, especially considering the fact that I haven't even had dinner or contemplated it.

 

[Maetryx]

Fritzo is doing the right thing now. Saving the marriage and learning from his mistakes and (hopefully) teaching his kids....

All those toys and eating out end up in the landfill and the sewer, respectively. Your kids go into the future, with your values...

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
Wait, again, if he pays all the damn bills, WTF does she do with "her" $50,000/year?

So true! He may have a trust issue with her, but she definitely has control issues in the relationship. IMHO that goes deeper, because it could be a/the cause for the issue with trust.

This relationship may be better off dead, but that's pure speculation.

 

[y2kc]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

I'm also giving her my credit card (I didn't max it BTW- it has a 17500 limit) and a monthly statement showing what I paid for with my checks....

Now she has to "baby-sit" a grown man to assure he doesn't spend his family into financial ruin. This is a recipe for resentment.

Resentment in a marriage (or relationship) is not good... not good at all.

Good luck Fritzo. All marriages have their rough spots..

 

[BatmanNate]

Originally posted by: luvly

LMAO! It wouldn't be so funny if it were true. Good one, especially considering the fact that I haven't even had dinner or contemplated it.

With all the bollocks coming out of your mouth there's scarcely time for you to shovel anything else in there.

 

[wedi42]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Right now I'm posting my vast fortune of stuff in the basement on Ebay

link?

 

[Lager]

What did you buy Fritzo that ran up tabs that high?

 

[Winchester]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Right now I'm posting my vast fortune of stuff in the basement on Ebay

I know ebay links are not allowed, but can you email or PM your list to me, I might be able to help out some.

 

[oLLie]

Can't you return any of the pricier items? Or were they all bought long ago and no longer returnable?

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Well, the results are in:

First 15 minutes in the door, she wanted me out by next weekend. We have two young kids that would be scarred for life if their father left during Christmas, so I think I'm going to be able to stay.

Right now I'm posting my vast fortune of stuff in the basement on Ebay and coming up with a plan to have this paid off within the next 12 months. I'm also giving her my credit card (I didn't max it BTW- it has a 17500 limit) and a monthly statement showing what I paid for with my checks.

I've always had a problem living beyond my means. I know I have a problem and really want to work this out. I hope she gives me the chance The fact that my car is paid off this month, I'm getting a $1200 Christmas bonus, and a raise at the start of the year would mean I could probably pull this off. When I do I'm telling them to lower my credit limit to $2000 and never raise it. Hopefully that will stop this from happening ever again.

Oh...and the damned Satan of the Internet is being removed from my "favorites" today heh.

Sorry to hear about it.... GL gettting your debt back in order..... I have a hard time believing that she wants you out just over this.... and does she just want you out? Or does she want a divorce? I find it ironic that you pay for everything, and make less. What does she do with all of her money?

 

[Xionide]

Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

 

[AreaCode707]

Guys, when he says he pays all the bills, I find it likely that both incomes go into some bank account and he pays bills out of that, not that he pays bills out of his $35000 and she keeps her 50K. "Paying bills" probably means he's been doing the finances. Am I right?

 

[Zombie]

haha, with his spending habit why would his wife trust him with her money ?

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: HotChic
Guys, when he says he pays all the bills, I find it likely that both incomes go into some bank account and he pays bills out of that, not that he pays bills out of his $35000 and she keeps her 50K. "Paying bills" probably means he's been doing the finances. Am I right?

I don't think so. "It's all my money. I pay all the bills except for her car payment." This makes no sense if what you suggest is true.

 

[Krassus]

Stupid stupid stupid! You need to learn how to control your emotions and do it before your weakness rubs off on your kids. If you want to live above your means, you need to INCREASE YOUR MEANS, not get in debt. And since your idea of increasing your means probably includes the word 'raise,' you need to start studying. Not to get a raise, but to become financially literate, because right now, you've got the financial literacy of a 4-year-old. Use this advice visely and you may yet acquire the means to live large like you want to. Ignore it and you'll be broke and miserable until your dying day.

IT STARTS HERE

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Wife found out my large credit card balance, called me at work, and said she was going to have a "talk" when I get home. Oh man.....probably going to be single for Christmas

Nothing kills the mood more than that phrase.

Good luck man, I feel your pain!!

 

[Pheran]

LOL... I just saw another thread titled For Sale: Kidney, $13,000 and for a moment thought maybe Fritzo had gotten really desperate. :Q

Seriously, $13K in credit card debt is pretty bad. Take your lumps and get it paid off.

Edit: Oops, someone already posted that link. I did search the thread for "kidney" before I posted this though, oh well.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: HappyPuppy
What does your wife do with "her" money if you pay all the bills? Also, how much of the crap you bought did you really need or even use?

Her money goes to savings, groceries, household expenses (shopping etc). She's pretty good with money, but I'm not evidentally.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: oLLie
Can't you return any of the pricier items? Or were they all bought long ago and no longer returnable?

This was all things that I've bought over the years. Nothing expensive...just a little of this and a little of that that built up. Come to think of it, a lot of it was toys and things for the kids (Gamecube comes to mind, a kids computer, a bike...etc).

I'm making web pages for some of the printers, receivers, and other junk I don't use and putting on Ebay. I'll post a link when they're up

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Xionide
Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as "Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!" "What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?"
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault

 

[boyRacer]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Xionide
Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as "Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!" "What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?"
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault

holy isht... honestly... if you didnt have any kids... i wouldve been happy to get a divorce if i were you. sorry.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: HotChic
Guys, when he says he pays all the bills, I find it likely that both incomes go into some bank account and he pays bills out of that, not that he pays bills out of his $35000 and she keeps her 50K. "Paying bills" probably means he's been doing the finances. Am I right?

No, we have separate bank accounts. I pay all the bills out of my account. Her money goes to savings, expenses, etc.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Xionide
Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as "Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!" "What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?"
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault

Holy crap :Q Ok, I'm honestly going to try and be nice about this. I know she's your wife and I'm trying to respect that but even so... she has serious issues. If you have to stay together for the kids sake do so but run far far away as soon as they're out of the house.

 

[JEDI]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: HotChic
Guys, when he says he pays all the bills, I find it likely that both incomes go into some bank account and he pays bills out of that, not that he pays bills out of his $35000 and she keeps her 50K. "Paying bills" probably means he's been doing the finances. Am I right?

No, we have separate bank accounts. I pay all the bills out of my account. Her money goes to savings, expenses, etc.

so she has play $ and you dont??? and you pay the bills and she pays the expenses. um..when u accumulate expenses, doesnt that mean bills???

something just doesnt add up.

about to call BS on this whole thread

 

[bleeb]

Your wife has you by the NUTS.... You've got to get back your balls mang.