I am SO dead

[T2T III]

Originally posted by: MrChad
I hope you're making six figures if you can rack up $13,000 in CC charges that easily.

Actually, I think I heard the average credit card balance for Americans a few weeks beek. If I recall correctly, it was about $13K.

 

[OS]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Xionide
Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as "Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!" "What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?"
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault

I mean this in the least personally offensive way possible but your wife is a bitch.

You should show her this thread and buy her some donuts to stuff her pie hole.

 

[pillage2001]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Xionide
Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as "Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!" "What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?"
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault

With all respect due, she has some serious issues! :Q

 

[T2T III]

Fritzo,

I'm very sorry to hear of your situation. Clearly, this is something that most couples would be able to talk through this and resolve it. Jumping right to the "D" word doesn't seem right at all.

 

[daveymark]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

(she's a cop).

No more explanation needed.

 

[JBAR]

13K is not much. I just paid off close to 40K in CC debt.

 

[Sluggo]

Originally posted by: pillage2001

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Xionide
Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as "Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!" "What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?"
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault

With all respect due, she has some serious issues! :Q

They both have some serious issues.

She is a control freak and a perfectionist, he rebels against her by doing things he KNOWS will make her livid.

Her job requires an authoritarian complex at most times, and she most likely has trouble dropping this persona when she is off-duty. He spends time fighting her authority by sneaking around and spending money, running up bills that are double of what she believes them to be.

My guess is that your marriage is on thin ice, and paying off this CC balance wont fix it. Some serious marriage and financial counseling would go a long way.

Of course, I could be wrong.

 

"This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as 'Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!' 'What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?'
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault"

That's my girl! She's analytical, which is cool and very useful in life. I sense some perfectionism in the process. It can be harmful too, but a smart person uses it positively. She would do detective work or law . . . it's excellent for that kind of personality. You free that part of you and avoid putting it upon your loved ones. A perfect match would be a guy who's good-tempered, has a good sense of discipline, including good habits, respectful, remorseful but able to stand up for himself. Of course you see how that personality could go wrong.

Having said that, I think she does exhibit obssessive behaviour. Her analytical nature seems to have changed into controlling nature. She picked the perfect guy for that, so I'm not about to beat her up for it. You make yourself available for it, so be it. A perfect match for this extreme, in contrast, is a submissive guy, soft-spoken, quick to be remorseful, and has no back bone. Of course this could work too! Let me guess: are you Libra or she Capricorn? Is she older than you?

That said, I still think you acted irresponsible and deserve what you're getting. Her nature doesn't exonerate you of the irresponsible conduct. Perhaps you can begin making excuses/justification for your behaviour, both the spending and hiding, by blaming her and her lack of affections. Nevertheless, it's not going to get you anywhere in life playing the victim role.

 

[Sluggo]

That's my girl! She's analytical, which is cool and very useful in life. I sense some perfectionism in the process. It can be harmful too, but a smart person uses it positively. She would do detective work or law . . .

What was the dead giveaway? When he said she was a cop?

 

[DaviDaVinci]

Originally posted by: luvly
"I've always had a problem living beyond my means. I know I have a problem and really want to work this out. I hope she gives me the chance"

Fritzo, you do not deserve that chance. Nevertheless, I do hope you give your family and yourself that chance. You have the situation in your control, not the other way around.

"First 15 minutes in the door, she wanted me out by next weekend. We have two young kids that would be scarred for life if their father left during Christmas, so I think I'm going to be able to stay."

Well, I guess you do have a chance to redeem yourself. Get creative fast! Take care of your debts and redeem yourself. Necessity is the mother of invention.

If I were in this situation, in spite of the children, I would ask him to leave and straighten himself first. I could work with him whilst he's away if he's serious about changing. You aren't enabling your family by spending unreasonably; rather, you're disabling your family. Not only did you spend foolishly, you concealed the truth thereby opening wounds and distrust. I really wish, not you, but your family well. Hope you work things out, and get your acts together! Keep us updated. (Of course, the above are my expressed opinion, not a divine revelation or truth.)

[Red Dawn:] "You are a fine one to talk, you haven't even come to terms on whether you are going to digest or purge your dinner yet!"

LMAO! It wouldn't be so funny if it were true. Good one, especially considering the fact that I haven't even had dinner or contemplated it.

I sincerely feel sorry for the man that marries you and has kids with u.

 

[Cougar]

Originally posted by: BooGiMaN
so what she think the bike new entertainment system, game consoles and computers magically appeared at your house...she should have known...

so seriously why do you feel the need to go behind her back..it seems your afraid of her...why?

To answer that question I shall quote one of my friends who was wise beyond his years, "It's much easier to ask forgiveness than permission"

Of course this friend is now divorced so take that as you will.

Seriously though, sorry to hear about your situation Fritzo...hope you and your wife work things out.

 

[godspeedx]

Originally posted by: MattCo

Originally posted by: ITJunkie

Originally posted by: Fritzo I tend to buy things without her knowing...looks like they stacked up a little too much. 4 minutes until I go home :/

Then don't go home...go get drunk :beer:

Five minutes between your double posts.... whats up with that?

-MC

It's been happening lately.

 

[oboeguy]

I am sorry to hear about your problem. I think you should take everyone's advice and at some point realize that there's a serious problem between the two of you, debt and whatnot aside.

To be honest, I'll never understand married couples who keep separate bank accounts. I find it incredibly strange (yes, I am married). Of course I also find CC debt for "stuff" strange too. I can understand situations come up but debt for things you want but don't need? Beyond me, dude.

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: luvly
"This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as 'Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!' 'What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?'
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault"

That's my girl! She's analytical, which is cool and very useful in life. I sense some perfectionism in the process. It can be harmful too, but a smart person uses it positively. She would do detective work or law . . . it's excellent for that kind of personality. You free that part of you and avoid putting it upon your loved ones. A perfect match would be a guy who's good-tempered, has a good sense of discipline, including good habits, respectful, remorseful but able to stand up for himself. Of course you see how that personality could go wrong.

Having said that, I think she does exhibit obssessive behaviour. Her analytical nature seems to have changed into controlling nature. She picked the perfect guy for that, so I'm not about to beat her up for it. You make yourself available for it, so be it. A perfect match for this extreme, in contrast, is a submissive guy, soft-spoken, quick to be remorseful, and has no back bone. Of course this could work too! Let me guess: are you Libra or she Capricorn? Is she older than you?

That said, I still think you acted irresponsible and deserve what you're getting. Her nature doesn't exonerate you of the irresponsible conduct. Perhaps you can begin making excuses/justification for your behaviour, both the spending and hiding, by blaming her and her lack of affections. Nevertheless, it's not going to get you anywhere in life playing the victim role.

At what point is he playing the victim? He said it was all his fault and that hes bad with money. Hes putting up items for sale on Ebay to try and rectify the problem.... Is it because hes a guy? Also nice to know that you'll drop any potential partner that you have at the first sign of trouble....

 

"What was the dead giveaway? When he said she was a cop?"

No, Sluggo. The three lists he gave was the giveaway!

[DaviDavinci:] "I sincerely feel sorry for the man that marries you and has kids with u."

I equally feel sorry for any woman that would marry you. You need that kind of woman who can take control; else, she would be a "vicitim".

My personal life is none of your biz! For all you know, maybe I plan on getting a sperm donor. Ever thought of that? Maybe you, as a boy, aren't as important in the picture as you imagined.

[Gobadgrs:] "At what point is he playing the victim? He said it was all his fault and that hes bad with money. Hes putting up items for sale on Ebay to try and rectify the problem.... Is it because hes a guy? Also nice to know that you'll drop any potential partner that you have at the first sign of trouble...."

No, he hasn't explicitly played the victim. However, he's done so implicitly. He has sympathisers already faulting his wife and ignoring his irresponsible behaviour. Basically, I was referring to him accepting, as an option, the "you're a victim" doctrine that's starting to surface.

No, I didn't say I would drop a potential partner at the first sign of trouble, not even implicitly. I simply said that this kind of behaviour would be one to warrant a dismissal. Some behaviours, I think, are totally unacceptable. I think this is one of them, since it's no longer about an individual's liberty. At this point, he's harming members of his family by acting irresponsible in this manner. His behaviour could lead to bankruptcy and more. Besides, this kind of behaviour was likely there before he met the lady, even if it wasn't as pronounced as now. In my view, it's clean up now or never. If he isn't shown the door, he won't see a reason to change.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Originally posted by: luvly
"This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as 'Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!' 'What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?'
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault"

That's my girl! She's analytical, which is cool and very useful in life. I sense some perfectionism in the process. It can be harmful too, but a smart person uses it positively. She would do detective work or law . . . it's excellent for that kind of personality. You free that part of you and avoid putting it upon your loved ones. A perfect match would be a guy who's good-tempered, has a good sense of discipline, including good habits, respectful, remorseful but able to stand up for himself. Of course you see how that personality could go wrong.

Having said that, I think she does exhibit obssessive behaviour. Her analytical nature seems to have changed into controlling nature. She picked the perfect guy for that, so I'm not about to beat her up for it. You make yourself available for it, so be it. A perfect match for this extreme, in contrast, is a submissive guy, soft-spoken, quick to be remorseful, and has no back bone. Of course this could work too! Let me guess: are you Libra or she Capricorn? Is she older than you?

That said, I still think you acted irresponsible and deserve what you're getting. Her nature doesn't exonerate you of the irresponsible conduct. Perhaps you can begin making excuses/justification for your behaviour, both the spending and hiding, by blaming her and her lack of affections. Nevertheless, it's not going to get you anywhere in life playing the victim role.

Honestly, why even post?

Translated: 'He's a spineless wonder and she's a domineering bitch'

Well, thank you captain fvcking obvious

By the way, I hate to call into question your incredible astute psychoanalysis of a person you've never met... however, an analytical person most likely does not dump things at the first hint of a problem. Like a vehicle for instance. Also, a controlling analytical perfectionist would also probably know what forms and amounts of debt they have.

Just a thought.

 

[tk149]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Fritzo. You screwed up, but your wife...has issues. Pay off the debt, get marriage counseling. Just remember that she has a gun.

 

"Honestly, why even post?

Translated: 'He's a spineless wonder and she's a domineering bitch'

Well, thank you captain fvcking obvious

By the way, I hate to call into question your incredible astute psychoanalysis of a person you've never met... however, an analytical person most likely does not dump things at the first hint of a problem. Like a vehicle for instance. Also, a controlling analytical perfectionist would also probably know what forms and amounts of debt they have.

Just a thought."

Why bother going through all that trouble of acting as a spokesman for the original poster?

He's still alive, you know? I don't think he needs someone else--in addition to his wife--to represent him all the time. He can read himself. He can also dismiss or confirm something said, can't he?

 

[DaviDaVinci]

Originally posted by: luvly
"What was the dead giveaway? When he said she was a cop?"

No, Sluggo. The three lists he gave was the giveaway!

[DaviDavinci:] "I sincerely feel sorry for the man that marries you and has kids with u."

I equally feel sorry for any woman that would marry you. You need that kind of woman who can take control; else, she would be a "vicitim".

My personal life is none of your biz! For all you know, maybe I plan on getting a sperm donor. Ever thought of that? Maybe you, as a boy, aren't as important in the picture as you imagined.

WTF is your prob luvly? And YES, you probably WILL have to get a sperm donor. At least I hope you do so no man has to suffer. I can't agree with flxnimprtmscl more on "call into question your incredible astute psychoanalysis of a person you've never met" You tend to do that quite often. And as in the picture thread, I've told you not to post any more of your garbage towards me, unless you have the ovaries/testicles to answer all my other questions posted to you. Everytime you responds to a poster's questions or comments directed to you, you tend to ONLY answer some of them not all based on convenience or ignorance. Seems like when people point out the truth to you, it hurts, thus you shy away from responding and only respond to something irrelevant.

Do you have any sincere sympathy or humanity in you. Anyone can pretend to be human, but it takes a real women/men to BE one.

So take your jargon elsewhere. You are a walking heartless mannequin. Now go and pretend to eat something.
From me to you once again. Dinner.

BTW, what is a model such as you doing here anyways? I though AT was a place for intellectuals.

Talk to you soon Ms. Cleopatra.

 

[pillage2001]

Originally posted by: Sluggo

Originally posted by: pillage2001

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: Xionide
Damn, skrewed up situation. But dont worry there is definately hope. My neighbors wife gambled there house away, yes their house! And guess what, they are still together. The problem isnt money it seems like something maybe deeper. So try to repair things the best you can and try not to do it again. If things between you and her really absolutely cannot be solved, dont stay together for the kids. My parents did that and it did ten times more harm than good. Good luck on getting this all back together.

-Xionide

This seems to be an ongoing question, so I should clear it up. My wife is a very intollerant person. She's also very untrusting and suspicous of everyone due to her upbringing and her job (she's a cop). Some examples:

1. She manually checks the facts of anyone that gives her information on something, such as "Hey! Consumer Reports rated that dishwasher tops!" "What month and what page of the magazine listed that review?"
2. Got a puppy. Wanted to get rid of it the first time it peed on the floor.
3. Got a small dent on her van from someone hitting it in a parking lot. Instead of fixing it, she thought it would never be right again and got a whole new van.

She's got a lot of good qualities too, and she's not as bad as she used to be, but this is the reason she would want a divorce over this. This is a major problem, so instead of dealing with it, she'd rather get rid of the problem all together. Fortunately I don't think she'll do it, but I'm still sweating it out. *sigh* Life sucks and it's my own fault

With all respect due, she has some serious issues! :Q

They both have some serious issues.

She is a control freak and a perfectionist, he rebels against her by doing things he KNOWS will make her livid.

Her job requires an authoritarian complex at most times, and she most likely has trouble dropping this persona when she is off-duty. He spends time fighting her authority by sneaking around and spending money, running up bills that are double of what she believes them to be.

My guess is that your marriage is on thin ice, and paying off this CC balance wont fix it. Some serious marriage and financial counseling would go a long way.

Of course, I could be wrong.

When she's off work, she'll be the one wearing the pants at home. No more different from the job she's used to. fritzo would still have to bend over.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Originally posted by: luvly
"Honestly, why even post?

Translated: 'He's a spineless wonder and she's a domineering bitch'

Well, thank you captain fvcking obvious

By the way, I hate to call into question your incredible astute psychoanalysis of a person you've never met... however, an analytical person most likely does not dump things at the first hint of a problem. Like a vehicle for instance. Also, a controlling analytical perfectionist would also probably know what forms and amounts of debt they have.

Just a thought."

Why bother going through all that trouble of acting as a spokesman for the original poster?

He's still alive, you know? I don't think he needs someone else--in addition to his wife--to represent him all the time. He can read himself. He can also dismiss or confirm something said, can't he?

Oh, you completely missed the point of my post. I wasn't trying to be a spokesman for him. That was just my round about way of calling you an idiot. I can see where you misunderstood me though.

Btw, no, I don't know the original poster is alive. It's quite possible his insane wife killed him.

 

"And as in the picture thread, I've told you not to post any more of your garbage towards me, unless you have the ovaries/testicles to answer all my other questions posted to you."

You permit yourself to post crap about me? Listen, hon': For as long as you permit yourself to initiate personal attacks, you'll get it back from me. Don't start what you can't finish. It seems you habitually race to your mummy whenever you start something but get what you aren't expecting.

As for responding to your enquiries, I figured you would run to mummy again. I thought I should free you of the embarrassment and suffering. It didn't make sense responding to a whiner. (See, I have some sense of humanity in me. Never mix up humanity with stupidity.) But if you insist, I have it all set. Let me know, and I'll pop up your thread.

"So take your jargon elsewhere. BTW, what is a model such as you doing here anyways? I though AT was a place for intellectuals."

Thanks, Captain Intellectual, for concluding through scientific methodology or a priori that models and intellects are disjoints.

Flxnimprtmscl or whatever your name is, you shall be ignored 'cuz silence has always been the best answer to people like you. Begin feeling it. . . .

 

[digitalsm]

Dude, Id say. After Christmas, file for divorce.

There are much bigger underlying issues in this marriage than you spending $5k without her knowing.

 

[johnjbruin]

as others said, your marriage is seriously fvcked up man.
run away from that control freak after your children are old enough to realize why you'll be running away.

 

[DWW]

If she wants to get rid of you over money...then....I'm sorry you have kids together even though you love them (too bad they aren't with someone else).

She sounds like a drone from the Borg. You are inefficient thus you are being cut off or something. WTF.

Its $6000 difference. If finances were that bad I'm sure you could get a second job to pay it down, even if its flippin burgers the overnight shift or something.

Bottomline: anyone willing to split at the first sign of trouble, anyone willing to split over money/finances... its good your splitting now instead of on your deathbed feeling you didn't have a great wife! Get mutual custody (or full!), move out, and enjoy life and stop living in fear of what you come home to.