I am SO dead

[slackerinabox]

I have a feeling that mr. Fritzo is misrepresenting his wife just a bit... The person at fault always has a tendency to villify the victim in an effort to make his crimes understandable.. Don't get me wrong - I understand that shopping bug and understand that fritz just made a mistake.. Notice how fritz initially said that he spends all of his money on household expenses and that his wife only pays for her car? Then the truth came out that she also pays for everyday expenses and food.. That, my friends, adds up.. The initial statement made his wife seem like a mean bitch who saves up her $$ for fun while Fritzo pays for everything... Sure, Mrs. Fritzo probably hasn't been in a pleasant mood lately (I have a feeling that this isn't the first time that this happened - notice she's the one saving for a rainy day and he's not .. perhaps he's unable to save anything so they have his pay automatically go to paying the bills?) but I have a feeling that his spending is a major long term problem in their relationship..

 

[DaviDaVinci]

Originally posted by: luvly
"And as in the picture thread, I've told you not to post any more of your garbage towards me, unless you have the ovaries/testicles to answer all my other questions posted to you."

You permit yourself to post crap about me? Listen, hon': For as long as you permit yourself to initiate personal attacks, you'll get it back from me. Don't start what you can't finish. It seems you habitually race to your mummy whenever you start something but get what you aren't expecting.

As for responding to your enquiries, I figured you would run to mummy again. I thought I should free you of the embarrassment and suffering. It didn't make sense responding to a whiner. (See, I have some sense of humanity in me. Never mix up humanity with stupidity.) But if you insist, I have it all set. Let me know, and I'll pop up your thread.

"So take your jargon elsewhere. BTW, what is a model such as you doing here anyways? I though AT was a place for intellectuals."

Thanks, Captain Intellectual, for concluding through scientific methodology or a priori that models and intellects are disjoints.

Flxnimprtmscl or whatever your name is, you shall be ignored 'cuz silence has always been the best answer to people like you. Begin feeling it. . . .

Is that another way of saying, "I can't come up with any logical answers to your questions." All you have to do is answer the questions targeted towards you. If your excuse of not answering them is "I figured you would run to mummy again" or "I thought I should free you of the embarassment and suffering", please stop right there. Don't think for me. Don't assume who I am. And quit making excuses. I've replied to all your comments and questions. Why don't you do that same? Now, please don't go around telling me I don't finish what I start.

Contrary to popular belief, ignorance is not bliss luvly. Excuses won't get you far either. Now get your head out of that ignorant hole and take a deep breath of fresh air of reality.

Sorry to hijack your thread Fritzo

 

[AnyMal]

Originally posted by: luvly
"And as in the picture thread, I've told you not to post any more of your garbage towards me, unless you have the ovaries/testicles to answer all my other questions posted to you."

You permit yourself to post crap about me? Listen, hon': For as long as you permit yourself to initiate personal attacks, you'll get it back from me. Don't start what you can't finish. It seems you habitually race to your mummy whenever you start something but get what you aren't expecting.

As for responding to your enquiries, I figured you would run to mummy again. I thought I should free you of the embarrassment and suffering. It didn't make sense responding to a whiner. (See, I have some sense of humanity in me. Never mix up humanity with stupidity.) But if you insist, I have it all set. Let me know, and I'll pop up your thread.

"So take your jargon elsewhere. BTW, what is a model such as you doing here anyways? I though AT was a place for intellectuals."

Thanks, Captain Intellectual, for concluding through scientific methodology or a priori that models and intellects are disjoints.

Flxnimprtmscl or whatever your name is, you shall be ignored 'cuz silence has always been the best answer to people like you. Begin feeling it. . . .

No man in their right mind will donate their sperm to you, not willingly anyway

 

[Shockwave]

I call BS on the whole thing.
"I pay all the bils"
"She pays expenses"

Ok, what the hell is the difference between bill and expense. And I ASSURE you he misrepresented his wife. Lets her HER side of the story, It'll be much different I'm sure.

 

[BubbaMorg]

Hey Fritzo, been there, too. We had our "talk" before we got married, though. That made things a lot easier. We made out a budget and set a target for getting things paid off, and we should reach our goal of zero debt and money in the bank at the end of March. It'll be a nice feeling. We got married last March by the way, and I had pretty close to $16000 in debt last November. Now I'm down to $7000 and closing fast. The high point was around $25000 three years ago. It just stacked up, no rational explanation for it, except for living above my means. I've figured out my means now and have overcome the problem. It's doable. And for dear God's, your wife's, and your kids' sake, get some counseling and find someone to hold you accountable to your finances. We did this before we got married. A good buddy or somebody will work, or go to a professional. Just have them check up on you; it lets you know how you're doing. A little bit of help goes a long way, especially when that help comes from someone you respect. Personally, I have an older person help me with this. He's been married for 20 years or so, and has three kids, been through some rocky spots, but his advice and experience goes miles, and he's proven himself as a guy who has himself and his family's stuff together.

My opinion is that do what you can to keep your family together. Somebody said your wife oughta kick you out till you get it together, but I think that's stupid. All that does is get you more in the hole funding the place you had to find for lodging (nuthin' is free). Your kids will respect you more if you stay at home and whip the issue. They and your wife will respect you for it later. Don't step one FREAKING foot out of that household. That'll blow it all to heck.

Good luck, man!

 

[Thoreau]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Well, the results are in:

First 15 minutes in the door, she wanted me out by next weekend. We have two young kids that would be scarred for life if their father left during Christmas, so I think I'm going to be able to stay.

Right now I'm posting my vast fortune of stuff in the basement on Ebay and coming up with a plan to have this paid off within the next 12 months. I'm also giving her my credit card (I didn't max it BTW- it has a 17500 limit) and a monthly statement showing what I paid for with my checks.

I've always had a problem living beyond my means. I know I have a problem and really want to work this out. I hope she gives me the chance The fact that my car is paid off this month, I'm getting a $1200 Christmas bonus, and a raise at the start of the year would mean I could probably pull this off. When I do I'm telling them to lower my credit limit to $2000 and never raise it. Hopefully that will stop this from happening ever again.

Oh...and the damned Satan of the Internet is being removed from my "favorites" today heh.

Hrm.. Hot Deals forum... woman... Hot Deals forum... woman... I'm a single lifeless geek, I vote for the forum. I can get all the nookie I need from pr0n and my favorite twins.. lefty and righty.

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
I have a feeling that mr. Fritzo is misrepresenting his wife just a bit... The person at fault always has a tendency to villify the victim in an effort to make his crimes understandable.. Don't get me wrong - I understand that shopping bug and understand that fritz just made a mistake.. Notice how fritz initially said that he spends all of his money on household expenses and that his wife only pays for her car? Then the truth came out that she also pays for everyday expenses and food.. That, my friends, adds up.. The initial statement made his wife seem like a mean bitch who saves up her $$ for fun while Fritzo pays for everything... Sure, Mrs. Fritzo probably hasn't been in a pleasant mood lately (I have a feeling that this isn't the first time that this happened - notice she's the one saving for a rainy day and he's not .. perhaps he's unable to save anything so they have his pay automatically go to paying the bills?) but I have a feeling that his spending is a major long term problem in their relationship..

No, I never meant to misrepresent my wife and make anyone thing she keeps all of her money while I pay for everything. The reason we have this situation is she gets benefits for having a direct deposit into her job's credit union. The credit union does not have electronic banking. She tends to procrastinate in mailing out bills (she obviously has plenty of money to pay them, just getting stamps and putting the bill in the mail was the problem). My bank has better benefits for me, and has electronic banking. I can pay all of our bills in 10 minutes through my account, so I pay the bills. It's something I elected to do.

Next, my wife is not a villain. This entire situation is my fault, no one else's. She has an abrasive personality, as opposed to my "laid back, shy" personality. I always tease her that she was a bully when growing up, and I was the one she picked on heheheh. However, she's about the best, most caring mother I have ever seen. However, other issues would be that she seems to love the kids more than me (we rarely do anything as a couple, the kids are always involved. When we do get away by ourselves, she spends most of the time missing the kids). I've always had a "walking on eggshells" relationship with her...especially when I come home from work or when she gets home. She works from 8pm-4am, and would tend to wake me up and start bitching at me when she got home about things like "there's dishes in the sink!" or "you could have picked up the toys before you went to bed!" As a result I would get a sinking feeling when I would hear her car pull up in the drive. This hasn't happened in a year and a half though because she's been going through a rehabilitating back injury that pretty much had her bed ridden all of last year. She had spinal surgery in July and I've been helping her recover since. She's calmed down a lot in the last year and a half, but she does still tend to be angry when I get home from work (normally from the kids driving her nuts, then taking it out on me).

You know, as I'm typing this, I think I'm seeing something...my marriage DOES stink. I'm actually thinking we should try this separation. The major loss of income and her awesome health benefits would be seriously missed, but not feeling anxious all the time might be a relief. I don't know. I think I would miss my kids too much (they would definitely miss me...especially my son). They would be better off living with their mother than me as I'm too busy to devote the amount of time to them that she does. Tough decision

 

[Fritzo]

Originally posted by: Shockwave
I call BS on the whole thing.
"I pay all the bils"
"She pays expenses"

Ok, what the hell is the difference between bill and expense. And I ASSURE you he misrepresented his wife. Lets her HER side of the story, It'll be much different I'm sure.

I'm trying to be fair to both of us here. These are bills I pay:

Electric
Gas
phone + DSL
cable
car (my car- paid off next month)
fuel (we have a joint BP gasoline account. It works for us)
house payment
cell phone
insurance
water
my credit card (obviously


She pays for:

her van payment
tuition (1 daughter in private school)
babysitter (son during the day)
groceries
shopping (clothes, supplies, etc)
entertainment (eating out, etc)
her credit card (she has about $1500 on it)
savings

I end up having about $50 per month to play with, maybe more depending on utility costs. She ends up having a LOT more, but she fills our savings and makes a lot more than I do.

 

[Squisher]

A marriage is a partnership with each party equally sharing financial responsibility.

If you can't control your spending, shame on you.

If the apportionment of discretionary income is unequal, well shame on both of you.

I would think that some sort of financial counseling could set this straight, unless this is but one facet of more deep rooted problems.

There are alternatives rather than divorce, like marriage couseling.

 

[Blieb]

Originally posted by: tk149
Sorry to hear about your troubles, Fritzo. You screwed up, but your wife...has issues. Pay off the debt, get marriage counseling. Just remember that she has a gun.

post of the month

 

[Blieb]

Originally posted by: Fritzo

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
I have a feeling that mr. Fritzo is misrepresenting his wife just a bit... The person at fault always has a tendency to villify the victim in an effort to make his crimes understandable.. Don't get me wrong - I understand that shopping bug and understand that fritz just made a mistake.. Notice how fritz initially said that he spends all of his money on household expenses and that his wife only pays for her car? Then the truth came out that she also pays for everyday expenses and food.. That, my friends, adds up.. The initial statement made his wife seem like a mean bitch who saves up her $$ for fun while Fritzo pays for everything... Sure, Mrs. Fritzo probably hasn't been in a pleasant mood lately (I have a feeling that this isn't the first time that this happened - notice she's the one saving for a rainy day and he's not .. perhaps he's unable to save anything so they have his pay automatically go to paying the bills?) but I have a feeling that his spending is a major long term problem in their relationship..

No, I never meant to misrepresent my wife and make anyone thing she keeps all of her money while I pay for everything. The reason we have this situation is she gets benefits for having a direct deposit into her job's credit union. The credit union does not have electronic banking. She tends to procrastinate in mailing out bills (she obviously has plenty of money to pay them, just getting stamps and putting the bill in the mail was the problem). My bank has better benefits for me, and has electronic banking. I can pay all of our bills in 10 minutes through my account, so I pay the bills. It's something I elected to do.

Next, my wife is not a villain. This entire situation is my fault, no one else's. She has an abrasive personality, as opposed to my "laid back, shy" personality. I always tease her that she was a bully when growing up, and I was the one she picked on heheheh. However, she's about the best, most caring mother I have ever seen. However, other issues would be that she seems to love the kids more than me (we rarely do anything as a couple, the kids are always involved. When we do get away by ourselves, she spends most of the time missing the kids). I've always had a "walking on eggshells" relationship with her...especially when I come home from work or when she gets home. She works from 8pm-4am, and would tend to wake me up and start bitching at me when she got home about things like "there's dishes in the sink!" or "you could have picked up the toys before you went to bed!" As a result I would get a sinking feeling when I would hear her car pull up in the drive. This hasn't happened in a year and a half though because she's been going through a rehabilitating back injury that pretty much had her bed ridden all of last year. She had spinal surgery in July and I've been helping her recover since. She's calmed down a lot in the last year and a half, but she does still tend to be angry when I get home from work (normally from the kids driving her nuts, then taking it out on me).

You know, as I'm typing this, I think I'm seeing something...my marriage DOES stink. I'm actually thinking we should try this separation. The major loss of income and her awesome health benefits would be seriously missed, but not feeling anxious all the time might be a relief. I don't know. I think I would miss my kids too much (they would definitely miss me...especially my son). They would be better off living with their mother than me as I'm too busy to devote the amount of time to them that she does. Tough decision

I think you're married to my GF (or ex? I dunno what she is) ...

It sounds like when you take a step back, that you're really not happy. I know EXACTLY what you mean about feeling ignored. My ex gave the dog hello kisses for hours ... me, none.

My parents separated in '93 ... it shocked us as kids because our parents never yelled at one another. Ends up, they never really talked either. And when they got away alone, they had nothing to talk about, except us kids. It sounds like you've lost the common ground, and are taking a real beating to boot.

You should suggest using savings (since hopefully there's a LOT of it) to pay off the CC. Then repay what you've used. This way, also, if she boots you or you decide to leave, you can do so with no CC debts to worry about with the lower salary and a lot of expenses.

Fvck everyone who's giving you a hard time. You fvcked up. As long as you learn from the mistake, it's a lesson well learned with 13k vs 130k.

Best of luck, though, tough situation you're in.

 

[FuzzyBee]

Originally posted by: luvly
Flxnimprtmscl or whatever your name is, you shall be ignored 'cuz silence has always been the best answer to people like you. Begin feeling it. . . .

If you have to tell somebody you're ignoring them, you aren't really ignoring them.

 

[Kadarin]

Originally posted by: Squisher
There are alternatives rather than divorce, like marriage couseling.

Marriage counseling is not an "alternative to divorce", as you put it. It is merely a form of arbitration and advice that attempts to get two people to talk to each other and find common ground.

Thanks for the clarification, Fritzo. I wish you the best of luck, whatever the course of action you choose to take. Remember that your own happiness and well-being should be up there on the list of what is important to you.

:beer:

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: BubbaMorg
Hey Fritzo, been there, too. We had our "talk" before we got married, though. That made things a lot easier. We made out a budget and set a target for getting things paid off, and we should reach our goal of zero debt and money in the bank at the end of March. It'll be a nice feeling. We got married last March by the way, and I had pretty close to $16000 in debt last November. Now I'm down to $7000 and closing fast. The high point was around $25000 three years ago. It just stacked up, no rational explanation for it, except for living above my means. I've figured out my means now and have overcome the problem. It's doable. And for dear God's, your wife's, and your kids' sake, get some counseling and find someone to hold you accountable to your finances. We did this before we got married. A good buddy or somebody will work, or go to a professional. Just have them check up on you; it lets you know how you're doing. A little bit of help goes a long way, especially when that help comes from someone you respect. Personally, I have an older person help me with this. He's been married for 20 years or so, and has three kids, been through some rocky spots, but his advice and experience goes miles, and he's proven himself as a guy who has himself and his family's stuff together.

My opinion is that do what you can to keep your family together. Somebody said your wife oughta kick you out till you get it together, but I think that's stupid. All that does is get you more in the hole funding the place you had to find for lodging (nuthin' is free). Your kids will respect you more if you stay at home and whip the issue. They and your wife will respect you for it later. Don't step one FREAKING foot out of that household. That'll blow it all to heck.

Good luck, man!

Best advice yet...

 

[GoingUp]

Originally posted by: fuzzy bee

Originally posted by: luvly
Flxnimprtmscl or whatever your name is, you shall be ignored 'cuz silence has always been the best answer to people like you. Begin feeling it. . . .

If you have to tell somebody you're ignoring them, you aren't really ignoring them.

:beer:

Glad I'm not the only one who found that ironic.... I just wish she would get really pissed off and give all of AT the silent treatment

 

[Regs]

This sounds like a 21st century HoneyMooner's episode.

 

"You are a walking heartless mannequin."

Isn't this rather a tautology? A mannequin has no heart to begin with, so the adjective is irrelevant unless you thought there were hearty mannequins. I smell an oxymoron.

"Is that another way of saying, 'I can't come up with any logical answers to your questions.' All you have to do is answer the questions targeted towards you. If your excuse of not answering them is 'I figured you would run to mummy again' or 'I thought I should free you of the embarassment and suffering', please stop right there. Don't think for me. Don't assume who I am. And quit making excuses. I've replied to all your comments and questions. Why don't you do that same? Now, please don't go around telling me I don't finish what I start."

I see that you're chasing me everywhere (to emphasise) I go. You know, this display of affection or desire for attention by means of aggression seems rather sophomoric. I thought just high school boys do that.

As a result, I won't even waste my time responding to your enquiries that so boggle your mind. If you wish to further this or any other conversation, PM me. Be forewarned that you shall be ignored if your message shows no sign of a serious discussion, especially with intent to find a solution. Au revoir, garcon!

As for some who like to act stupid when someone posts a position through reasoning, look at a thread that would make you happy: The Case Of Fritzo And His Wife.

Fritzo, you should never stay in a relationship if you feel trapped, unless of course you are enjoying the trapping. You sound like the emotional type, but your wife isn't; nor is she someone to accommodate that kind of behaviour. If you love the relationship you're in at the moment, then it's your business. And I would say more power to you, so long as you accept responsibility and consequences of your action. Hope in the future you keep us updated with your situation.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Originally posted by: luvly
Flxnimprtmscl or whatever your name is, you shall be ignored 'cuz silence has always been the best answer to people like you. Begin feeling it. . . .

Awww, now you've really hurt my feelings

Well, I should say you would have if that wasn't such a stupid comment to begin with. As others have already pointed out.

 

[Fritzo]

Update: She called me at work and said she'd have a bag packed for me when I got home. Looks like it's over My parents live in town, maybe I could shack up there for a while.

 

[Jmmsbnd007]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Update: She called me at work and said she'd have a bag packed for me when I got home. Looks like it's over My parents live in town, maybe I could shack up there for a while.

Wow. Sorry to hear that, however, the fact that you pay all the bills and make $15k less kind of says something.

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Fritzo
Update: She called me at work and said she'd have a bag packed for me when I got home. Looks like it's over My parents live in town, maybe I could shack up there for a while.

Wow,I can't imagine anyone being so rigid particularly when you are willing to work out this issue.Perhaps she is also as unhappy as you are and in the long run this will be best for you both?

 

[Geekbabe]

Originally posted by: Maverick
ouch man I feel your pain...my gf gets on my case about the cc purchases as well. Women like to keep guys in line when it comes to buying gadgets.

that's not always true,I'm trying to pry a gadget Xmas wishlist from my b/friend,a man's gotta have toys sometimes.

 

[yellowperil]

Good luck Fritzo :beer:

Thank God for eBay

 

[Fritzo:] "Update: She called me at work and said she'd have a bag packed for me when I got home. Looks like it's over My parents live in town, maybe I could shack up there for a while."

Sweetie, listen, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: Your emotions is what's led you to the position you are at the moment. You appeal too often to your emotions. Emotion is good, but too much of it and an abandonment of reason causes you immense trouble. You have operated solely by your emotions so far, whereas, unfortunately, you didn't even pick someone who can tolerate such emotions. If your emotions have misled you in many ways, including choice of partner and spending habits, then it's time for you to reconsider things. Take the opportunity to be alone and contemplate things. Take the opportunity to be alone and get help with your problem. You cannot keep thinking with just your emotions. In the process, you're also alienating people who need care and acting subconsciously selfish. You're thinking of yourself in the process and doing things that harm your children. Your wife's concern is legitimate, in spite of her wrong-doing in other cases. It is for your own good--as well as that of your kids--if you seek solitude. Both your family and you need breathing space at the moment.

I am not saying it's an easy feeling, but you can do it if you're determined to succeed and work out your relationship . . . or at the very least, you will be in tune with yourself and make better choices in life with your second chance. I hope you take into consideration the inputs offered.

 

[lizardboy]

Look at the bright side, since she makes more than you maybe you'll get some alimony out of this