i ate straight butter, is my career over?

[Jeff7]

Straight butter = you're fine
Gay butter = you're fired

This faux pas of eating straight butter may have put him in a bit of a strait.

 

[IronWing]

Brian "Butter Face" Manahan ye shall be.

 

[DrunkenSano]

You must be a complete pleb to not realize that it was butter.

 

[Jeff7]

You must be a complete pleb to not realize that it was butter.

Yesterday, I looked for images with descriptions like "fancy restaurant butter pat" to try to find what OP might have eaten, only to find that "butter pat" evidently is a kind of dish for butter.
I thought "butter pat" only referred to a small lump of it, like these things.


"Gourmet butter" yielded better results.
Something like this might possibly be confused with white chocolate....assuming the text that says "butter" is in Japanese.
Or basic disc-shaped butter?

 

[Ns1]

Has the OP been fired yet?

 

[brianmanahan]

Has the OP been fired yet?

thankfully no, nobody came out and said anything today. so maybe my career will be OK. actually if it just kept me from being promoted above my current role that would be fine with me, because i really don't want to move up to more stressful jobs.

one guy who saw me eat the butter did ask me how i was feeling today. i told him i was fine and gave him a puzzled look. i didn't mention the violent digestive reaction to all that butter.

 

[Jeff7]

Has the OP been fired yet?

Nah, he was able to butter up the HR manager.

 

[clamum]

Out to eat with the CIO
Went to eat some white chocolate
Oh damn, it's was butter, dontcha know
Hold it in, swallow, profit?

 

[brianmanahan]

Yesterday, I looked for images with descriptions like "fancy restaurant butter pat" to try to find what OP might have eaten, only to find that "butter pat" evidently is a kind of dish for butter.

it looked a lot like this:

but they were perfectly smooth and shiny, with no holes or anything like that

 

[Fritzo]

I wish I could find that clip from the Melissa McCarthy movie Spy where she's at a fancy restaurant and she eats what she thinks is a marshmallow, but it turns out to be a dehydrated towelette

 

[Sho'Nuff]

Did you have the person next to you feed the butter to you like a baby bird? I thought you were having trouble swallowing?

 

[Stopsignhank]

I am so proud of you that you could swallow. Kind of like my daughter after she had her fundoplication surgery. She could not throw up for many years. This is reminiscent of the first time I saw her up-chuck.

 

[Mai72]

Butter is healthy LOL!.. murican logic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iKSL-bpbAM

Lol at Dr. Berg.

I'm actually subscribed to his You Tube channel. Seems a bit like a quack though.

 

[Jeff7]

it looked a lot like this:

but they were perfectly smooth and shiny, with no holes or anything like that

Interesting, I can't say I've ever seen butter served like that.

Maybe once when I was with a sales rep and we were visiting a customer. Damn awkward: Something like 15 kinds of oysters, a waiter who could describe each one, platters that were $40 and up , a menu-sized wine list, numerous different forks and spoons.....20,000 leagues out of mine.
Maybe they had fancy butter there? Don't remember though.

Luckily I didn't order or cut a steak that night. :sneaky:

 

[A Casual Fitz]

Joe took down a whole stick no problem:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSyo4fGdg1w

 

[fab4u7889]

You'll be fine IMO.

 

[JEDIYoda]

let me explain.

so i got invited to a fancy lunch with the CIO of our company because our team hit a home run on the last project.

he chose this uppity restaurant, and sure the food was great. they even had some little white chocolates on plates. but you know how those lunches are... with a CIO there you have to be hanging on to EVERY word he says, in order to kiss up to him and maybe get a little bigger bonus. it's stressful.

so we're almost done eating and he's delivering a big speech about great job, teamwork, rah rah, when i decide to eat one of the fancy white chocolates. i go to pick it up with my hand but it's a little melted, so while i'm still listening and nodding at whatever CIO is saying, i scoop it up with a fork and eat it in one bite.

that's when i discovered that it was not fancy white chocolate, but fancy butter.

i'm not sure what hit me first, the salty taste or the buttery warmth that made my whole mouth feel instantly disgusting. i wanted to spit it out, but with everyone there i had no choice - i had to swallow it.

i don't THINK the CIO wasn't looking at me. if he was, he didn't show it. but a couple other people definitely did. they just stared, apparently bewildered that i didn't realize it was butter. how was i supposed to know?! it looked just like a fancy chocolate!

nobody said a word to me about it and i pretended like it didn't happen, but i have a terrible feeling that everyone was talking.

i was so embarrassed that i had a stomach ache all afternoon and left work a little early. now i am dreading going back to work tomorrow, and am pretty sure that my career is over. everyone will know.

should i just deny it ever happened? or tell people that i eat butter all the time? maybe for medical reasons?

No need explaining all your idiotic posts.....

 

[RampantAndroid]

....where on earth do you work that eating butter would hurt your career? Maybe I'm tainted from working with software engineers...but I cannot imagine a workplace where this would matter.

 

[Fanatical Meat]

it looked a lot like this:

but they were perfectly smooth and shiny, with no holes or anything like that

There is an old school steak house near me that serves butter just like this.
It one of those places that's been there forever.

 

[brianmanahan]

....where on earth do you work that eating butter would hurt your career? Maybe I'm tainted from working with software engineers...but I cannot imagine a workplace where this would matter.

it's finance and insurance. they care a lot more about appearances and crap than i do. but the money and benefits are quite good and it's not stressful, so i stay put.

at least until they fire me for eating butter :\

 

[brianmanahan]

There is an old school steak house near me that serves butter just like this.
It one of those places that's been there forever.

i think that's my problem

i've never been to one of the fancy steakhouses, besides a ruby tuesday or longhorn steakhouse.

we have a morton's nearby that some guys go to occasionally, but it costs like 40$ so i never go with them.

for that price i get 20 2$ meals from aldi instead!

 

[Bubbleawsome]

lol!
:awe:

 

[Ruptga]

I have chuckled at your expense, brianmanahan

Does this post appear at some point in every one of your threads? It probably should.

I have never mistaken butter for white chocolate, but if I did I would still be safe because white chocolate is gross.

 

[GregGreen]

This story would have been better if it was actually brie. Also brie looks and tastes like butter, why is it a cheese?

 

[sdifox]

This story would have been better if it was actually brie. Also brie looks and tastes like butter, why is it a cheese?

Stop buying Brie that taste like butter.