LunarRay
Diamond Member
- Mar 2, 2003
- 9,993
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When I was young a disaster would follow everywhere I'd or was about to go, tidal wave in Hawaii, earthquake in San Francisco, and of course I live in a constant state of rage and turmoil, even in Diablo 3. Why? Because God hates me. And because I deserve to be punished. What is my solution, I curse and swear at him until I'm blue in the face. I give Him His reasons for hating me. Probably hiding from myself my real sins.
I was taught that God loves us, but my parents taught me they love me only when I'm good. I think they had more pull with the way I learned to feel about myself than He did, Then too, there is all that terrible stuff in the Bible about what happens to evil doers.
So while preparing for an earthquake seems to make good sense, I think the fear of them is a projection, the deeply buried feeling that we are full of sin and deserving on punishment for it projected out there as endless named and nameless terrors. So the answer to earthquake fear in my opinion is to dredge up to a conscious level where it was that we got the feeling we are sinful, or have faith so great as to be certain at the deepest levels that we are forgiven. The Muslim has a variation I think, Surrender to the will of the greatest compassionate and merciful being for in the mind of such a believer not one thing can happen without His will. So nothing that happens can be anything other than perfect. The ego, however, in my opinion likes neither to forgive nor to surrender.
After playing WOW and Diablo with you for so many years I know one thing for sure... You've an expectation of perfection from yourself and the demand for the gear to achieve it. When you fail you blame God I guess. I'll bet God chuckles and says to herself..."it be you what pushes the buttons not me" I accept failure as part of the game. It matters not to me either way. I just like playing the game.
I figure behavior is produced from some sort of rationalization take on memory. From childhood or perhaps even beyond that - either way.
Ya know, I don't recall hell being mentioned until Jesus ventured about. I do recall that it is just ducky to kill and enslave folks in the old testament.
I don't think you are capable of committing sins. You may have been convinced somehow that you did but that can't be true.
Fear is the nuttiest concept I can imagine. I'd think folks would never venture beyond the front door for fear a tree might fall on them or like that. Statistics provides the probability of an occurrence and one should act accordingly, me thinks.
Ego... I think if one can reach back into their memory they will face their demons and smack them down cuz they generally ain't real they are inputs that somehow got misconstrued and when retrieved they affect current thinking. Your buddy N knew this and I suspect you realize this too.
I don't know if it is ok to bury painful memories or deal with them. I think what is painful to me I deal with by getting upset at the person who created the memory. When my mother split when I was two I'm not sure how that made me feel cuz my grandmother was there to replace her but knowing my father my mother gets a pass from me while he gets the blame. Trump's trainer...