I don't care, it's my parents' money

[bhanson]

Just curious, but while growing up I've heard this statement and also at an increasing rate from today's youth and I've never been able to relate.

When my parents gave me money I never felt like it was "funny money" and was meant to be spent with zero discretion. I treated the money with the same respect as any other, and often times even more simply because it was their money.

What is your internal attitude towards your parents financials? Do you see them as an extension of your own? Or more as a completely separate entity where you have zero responsibility/feelings of obligation.

 

[BoomerD]

The way I read your post, you're confusing two issues.

The money your parents GIVE you is your money.

THEIR actual finances is none of your business.

 

[Bateluer]

The way I read your post, you're confusing two issues.

The money your parents GIVE you is your money.

THEIR actual finances is none of your business.

This. If my Mom gives me cash for my birthday, its mine to do with as I please. If I want to spend it on booze, its my concern. The money in their bank accounts is theirs, and none of my business what they do with it.

 

[JS80]

Just curious, but while growing up I've heard this statement and also at an increasing rate from today's youth and I've never been able to relate.

When my parents gave me money I never felt like it was "funny money" and was meant to be spent with zero discretion. I treated the money with the same respect as any other, and often times even more simply because it was their money.

What is your internal attitude towards your parents financials? Do you see them as an extension of your own? Or more as a completely separate entity where you have zero responsibility/feelings of obligation.

I'm in a unique situation (maybe not unique for other immigrants) in that my parents will probably financially rely on me when they are no longer able to work. However, that's why I help manage (aka control) their business with capital contributions and decision making, so that I won't have to pay out of pocket to support them into old age.

 

[shortylickens]

I dont hear it but I see it a lot at my college. You can tell none of the kiddies is paying for their education. Lazy slackers.

 

[ahenkel]

If my parents have given me money I generally know if there's an expectation attached to it. As for their finances I worry sometimes but its not my responsibility or my business.

 

[coxmaster]

I dont hear it but I see it a lot at my college. You can tell none of the kiddies is paying for their education. Lazy slackers.

Private school? That happens here a lot too

 

[bhanson]

The way I read your post, you're confusing two issues.

The money your parents GIVE you is your money.

THEIR actual finances is none of your business.

Interesting. I don't distinguish between money they give me and money in their bank, at least not in the sense of devaluing the money once it's in my hands. This is evident in the combination of these two "issues" into one, although I didn't consider how someone in the other category may not see it this way.

Actually, I'm not even sure how to construct this poll without that bias and without splitting the "not my business" group in half.

 

[Bignate603]

If my parents have given me money I generally know if there's an expectation attached to it. As for their finances I worry sometimes but its not my responsibility or my business.

This. Unless it was an outright gift (like a birthday gift) the money was usually given to me with some sort of expectation, like when I was in school it was to either pay directly for school or for my bare necessities. I got a job while I was in school to pay for my fun stuff, and at one point gave them back a chunk of money because I didn't need it.

As for their own finances, I did get a bit upset with my mom. My father is paying her child support for my youngest sister who's in college. The child support is enough to pay for everything that my sister needs for school so she wouldn't have to take out any loans, but my mother has been spending it on herself. The end result is that my youngest sister is getting squat out of the child support, my father doesn't have any more money to give because he's paying the child support, and my mother is spending the money that should be going towards my sister to support a lifestyle that she won't be able to afford as soon as the child support stops.

That ends next year, and I'm half expecting that I'll get a call from my mother because she's running into financial problems.

 

[NetWareHead]

This. Unless it was an outright gift (like a birthday gift) the money was usually given to me with some sort of expectation, like when I was in school it was to either pay directly for school or for my bare necessities.

This is how it is in my family and how I grew up.

 

[nageov3t]

when my parents gave me an allowance or lunch money, I felt like it was my money. I treated it like a paycheck for doing household chores.

as an adult, I feel weird taking money from my parents at all, even when they offer. my dad just started collecting his pension from a job he worked 30 years ago... he says he doesn't really need the money and offered to help me pay for plastic surgery, but I said no because I don't like the idea of taking their money.

 

[shortylickens]

when my parents gave me an allowance or lunch money, I felt like it was my money. I treated it like a paycheck for doing household chores.

as an adult, I feel weird taking money from my parents at all, even when they offer. my dad just started collecting his pension from a job he worked 30 years ago... he says he doesn't really need the money and offered to help me pay for plastic surgery, but I said no because I don't like the idea of taking their money.

whatcha gettin fixed?

 

[AlienCraft]

You really don't get it do you?
Your poll sucks.

 

[rcpratt]

I assume we're talking about parents giving you money for things like clothes as a kid, not a gift. I never went crazy with their money as a kid at all, but I still find myself not spending as much money on things now that everything is my own money (e.g., $40 tennis shoes instead of $80 Nike's), even though I could certainly afford them.

That said, the poll sucks and makes no sense. I also know a fair amount about my parents' finances and have known some since high school or so. I know what my father makes, how much they're underwater on their house, how much they have saved for retirement, and how it's invested.

edit: Awaiting getting flamed by Alkemyst for talking about my parents...

 

[nageov3t]

whatcha gettin fixed?

I'm saving up for a tummy tuck (or at least I will be after all my other debts are paid off). lost 250 pounds and have some gross skin around my midsection.

 

[Bignate603]

I'm saving up for a tummy tuck (or at least I will be after all my other debts are paid off). lost 250 pounds and have some gross skin around my midsection.

Congrats! :thumbsup:

About the weight loss, not about the excess skin. I think after all that work you're justified in having a little surgery to finish what you really can't do yourself.

 

[Leros]

My parents gave me a weekly allowance. I felt like it was mine since I only got it if I did my chores. I treated it with respect and spent it carefully since I only got a limited amount.

 

[Mike Gayner]

Just curious, but while growing up I've heard this statement and also at an increasing rate from today's youth and I've never been able to relate.

I never heard that statement once in my life. Then again, I never lived among people who were being given large amounts of money by their parents.

 

[Mike Gayner]

I'm saving up for a tummy tuck (or at least I will be after all my other debts are paid off). lost 250 pounds and have some gross skin around my midsection.

You lost 250 pounds?! Holy crap bravo :thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[Kirby]

I never heard that statement once in my life. Then again, I never lived among people who were being given large amounts of money by their parents.

Someone here at my dorm drives a CTS-V, which is odd because this is one of the cheapest dorms on campus.

If they could afford such an expensive car, you'd think they wouldn't want to live in a 50 or 60 year old shit hole.

 

[BlueAcolyte]

My parents support me now (I'm a minor), will pay my tuition, then I'm on my own. I wouldn't dream of asking them for money that I don't absolutely need.

 

[Heller]

my parents dont give me money, haven't since 15, I moved out at 17 and i've helped them out finaclly with my savings, but they always pay it back within the apropriate time. they live off disability and i live off my government pelgrant for the year plus my job at at average off 7-800 a week.I get a card on my birthday, they got a new tv then a new grill, nothing they really needed, but could use.My sister and i shared the expensive.

 

[angminas]

This. If my Mom gives me cash for my birthday, its mine to do with as I please. If I want to spend it on booze, its my concern. The money in their bank accounts is theirs, and none of my business what they do with it.

If your parents were concerned enough about your feelings to give you a present, you can be concerned enough about their feelings to treat it as special. Generally speaking, it's only "yours" because they both worked hard to get it and were nice enough to share it with you. That deserves more respect than "whateva, I do what I want".

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Even if its a gift, I still respect that it's my parents money and save it when I can.

I rarely spend on myself anyway.

 

[rcpratt]

Even if its a gift, I still respect that it's my parents money and save it when I can.

I rarely spend on myself anyway.

I tend to disagree with this. When I receive a gift of money from my parents (not too often), I think they'd prefer that I spend it on something that I enjoy, not just let it sit in the bank. That said, sometimes I can't think of anything I want and do end up putting it in the bank anyways.