I lie to get out of going places with people. I know why I do it though. I don't fucking want to go, I don't want to get into an explanation of why I don't want to go, and I don't want them to think I don't like them.
You obviously don't have a friend like this.
My friend lies all the time. He's apparently had every single job on the planet (and was the best at it too) even though he's only 27. He brags about the guns/cars he and his dad has, even though we've never seen them. "They're in storage" or some such excuse... sure buddy, sure. But you know what? I know it's BS, but I'm sure as shit not going to call up the prison he claimed he worked at to see if he was ever a guard. I don't give a shit and it doesn't affect me at all. Why would I care if he actually worked at a guard or not? Why does the OP care if he actually had sushi or not? It doesn't matter. Let him go about his business and make his own life choices.
I lie to get out of going places with people. I know why I do it though. I don't fucking want to go, I don't want to get into an explanation of why I don't want to go, and I don't want them to think I don't like them.
Because when your friend says "ill be there at 9" and never turns up, the first time you let it go, the second time you get annoyed, the third time you get pissed off, the fourth time it drives you nuts, the 10th time he says "I'll be there at 9, I'm just at work" you check if he's at work.
Normal people also just begin to ignore such individuals, or grow to completely expect the same result and make no plans to put effort into keeping them informed (i.e. simply let them be the ones initiating conversation).
Honestly, some people can/do make plans like that, before they are truly decided/committed (or, are prone to change their mind after more time). They could get home from work, ready to change or whatever, and then decide they simply don't want to do anything (or find something else to do, with people they'd prefer to hang with - to them, perhaps you're an acquaintance as opposed to best friend).
Another thing to consider: how they approach the concept of friend-type relationships. How they approach friends in general or simply the divide between "acquaintance" and friend, it could be they just don't see a need to keep to what they say with such people, or that it's ok.
It's also entirely ok to bring this kind of thing up with anybody you feel you remotely care about. We've gotten to a point in the civilized world where we're too conscious of others' feelings, and don't really bring up these kinds of things when in conversation together.
True friendly relations are important, as it offers further developmental opportunity. Yet, it's a component of life that isn't as strong as it once was.
To be more specific, it's something that still occurs in some social circles, but some aspects of culturehave frowned on such conversation that seems to minimize how often it occurs today.
Because when your friend says "ill be there at 9" and never turns up, the first time you let it go, the second time you get annoyed, the third time you get pissed off, the fourth time it drives you nuts, the 10th time he says "I'll be there at 9, I'm just at work" you check if he's at work.
The OP relayed that his friend said he CAN'T go with them because of the other sushi thing. Which means the OP should not be expecting anything out of the guy because he wasn't going to show up regardless. If the guy said "yeah I'll be there" then I could see making sure he'll actually be there, but since he wasn't going then it doesn't matter and the OP had no reason to check into the story other than nosiness and borderline obsession. Checking into things should stop once it no longer affects you, and in this case the OP went further than it concerned him.
I really don't get what the problem is, anyway i'm off to ride my flying horse that craps rainbows with dustin hoffman. Laters
The OP relayed that his friend said he CAN'T go with them because of the other sushi thing. Which means the OP should not be expecting anything out of the guy because he wasn't going to show up regardless. If the guy said "yeah I'll be there" then I could see making sure he'll actually be there, but since he wasn't going then it doesn't matter and the OP had no reason to check into the story other than nosiness and borderline obsession. Checking into things should stop once it no longer affects you, and in this case the OP went further than it concerned him.
And that was my first and only action I took to validate my suspicion all along, to see who was going crazy. So what's the prob?
If he lies to you I don't see why you shouldn't investigate his lies to get the truth.
Because it was never confirmed prior? And now I leave him alone, just get sucked into his awkward fake conversation of me playing along. Ugh.
My friend lies all the time. He's apparently had every single job on the planet (and was the best at it too) even though he's only 27. He brags about the guns/cars he and his dad has, even though we've never seen them. "They're in storage" or some such excuse... sure buddy, sure. But you know what? I know it's BS, but I'm sure as shit not going to call up the prison he claimed he worked at to see if he was ever a guard. I don't give a shit and it doesn't affect me at all. Why would I care if he actually worked at a guard or not? Why does the OP care if he actually had sushi or not? It doesn't matter. Let him go about his business and make his own life choices.
Do you know one? I do. He's a good friend of mine, but this bothers me incredibly. He's a nice guy, generally harmless, and not malicious like those typical liars. But I really wonder what the mechanic behind it is.
It's to the point you can see through his lies within a sentence coming a mile away. Few examples:
1. GF and I were at Redsox game. He texts me and I say I'm at Fenway. He texts me back saying he's there too. I was genuinely excited so I call him, he suddenly doesn't pick up. I said let's meet after the game, he disappears until evening then says it wasn't a good idea to meet at the game due to the crowd.
2. He says his rich friend has a 100" HDTV and they watch together all the time. Now, this was 7~ years ago when HDTV were just rolling out. I don't think they were even available to consumer let alone how expensive it would be. I looked it up online, no such model & size existed at the time.
3. We went to this promotional event at a lounge where they serve open bar to celebrate new vodka (it was Trump vodka lol). We invite him, then he says he had else where to go with open sushi bar. My BS radar goes right off. I had to call the restaurant just to confirm I'm not going crazy. Yup, no such event was ever held.
4. He and his GF recently got broken up. I was there for him via phone and he was really appreciative. Today, I chat with him online to see how he's doing. Unprompted, he says
Went on a date saturday
me: ooo
Him: Went to barlola and then saw men of valor
Shes a nice girl
Extremely smart
Is a 2nd year associate lawyer at goodwin proctor
me: getting close already?
Him: Nah
1st date
We text everyday
She works from 8 am to midnight
And she worked sat and sunday too (ok? this is a good thing?)
I asked what her name is, he goes afk.
See, I'll provide a context. I know those liars do it out of defense mechanism or insecurity of sort. I'm NOT the one to make someone feel 'less' to trigger this kind of behavior. Actually, I know he does this to everyone. But I end up getting bothered by it personally.
What is wrong with him and other people like this? Being a collective forum, can you shed some light, I'm sure some of you are like this.