I don't get the mentality of pathological liars, why?

[Lummex]

Some people just aren't able to handle the truth. They create little fantasies for themselves, that then become their reality. He probably told that same guy about YOUR 100" HDTV.

Just be grateful that he doesn't do anything more than annoy you.

I'd say it's a mix of this, as well as some kind of rush that most pathological liars get from lying. For some, the addiction comes from the high they feel when they get away with something/attempt to deceive someone and succeed (hence the addiction portion of pathological lying: feels good --> compulsion to continue behavior). This is probably more the case with pathological liars that lie about big things, the sorts that hurt others. Not sure how true this is for your friend, but it's probably at least a small part of what's going on.

 

[Hugo Drax]

Why do you associate with people like that to begin with?

 

[Sheep]

On the flipside, I know someone who tells a ton of stories about stuff that happened before I knew him that I thought was extremely improbable and likely exaggerated to make a better story. But since we've been friends for more than a decade now, I've been in some of those extremely improbable situations with him--some people really do experience the most unexpected stuff and they're not exaggerating or lying about it in any way. However, I suspect this type of person is much more rare than someone who lies about stuff to make themselves look better.

 

[HAL9000]

Why do you associate with people like that to begin with?

I've been friends with my one since I was 6, it's too late now.

 

[0roo0roo]

http://www.radiolab.org/2008/mar/10/

 

[IGBT]

more common then you think. Most liars usually engage in a relentless game of one up man-ship. They always have to "one up" you in a conversation which always results in lies.

 

[BTA]

We just call these people full of shit.

Harmless, but totally full of shit.

Usually make shit up to try and impress. Many times it's simple things like trying to look like they are an authority on a subject, or have good buddies who are important (when in reality they are mere acquaintances, or even more likely, known in passing, or simply knows their name).

This pretty much exemplifies most of the people on the internet though.

 

[BTA]

On that note, I will make shit up on occasion. Usually in an effort to get someone to leave me alone though.

 

[dennilfloss]

Some people just aren't able to handle the truth. They create little fantasies for themselves, that then become their reality.

I used to be one, and it all starts with something innocent so you can feel better about yourself. When you hang around the same group of friends all the time, a lot of the lies start snowballing and you just keep going.

I used to be a liar like that, even to the point of believing my own stories and there are parts of my past I am still not sure to this day if they really happened or if they are my fantasies that took on a life of their own. As a result, there is stuff I absolutely 'remember' but I'm not really sure happened. Lying is also a mechanism of self-defense, particularly if one was bullied as a youngster and wants to simply fit in with a crowd and not be different/inferior, for being different/inferior makes you a target for physical/verbal/emotional abuse. One can also lie to fullfil an agenda, with the best intentions. In most cases, you are deluding/deceiving yourself the most of all.

 

[lokiju]

Reminds me of some DB I knew for a number of years.

I got sick of all the non-stop pointless lies that weren't needed and no one fell for and would just start asking more and more questions and details about the bullshit.

A liar regardless of the type will always run into a dead end if asked enough questions.

His on going one that I just could not take anymore was about his BMW M5. I would say things like "man I can't wait to see how that M5 drives, when are you going to bring it around?" or even ask if he had any pics of it.

He'd go from "umm, oh...it's at my grandpa's shop where I "store" it" to "I don't have insurance on it" and on and on and on with lame ass shit.

One day he shows up somewhere a bunch of us are hanging out and makes his way on over to me and says "look I brought my keys for the M5 with me today!". I look and it's some damn house keys and a BMW keychain! I said to him "WTF would a M5 not have a keyless entry or keyfob? You can buy a keychain with any car brand symbol"

Totally blank on his face and he grabs his phone out of his pocket and puts it up to his ear and says "hello" then says "gotta take this call" and walks away.

His phone did not ring or vibrate, just so damn laughable yet sad.

That was probably one of the last times he hung out with our group of friends.

 

[Fritzo]

Reminds me of some DB I knew for a number of years.

I got sick of all the non-stop pointless lies that weren't needed and no one fell for and would just start asking more and more questions and details about the bullshit.

A liar regardless of the type will always run into a dead end if asked enough questions.

His on going one that I just could not take anymore was about his BMW M5. I would say things like "man I can't wait to see how that M5 drives, when are you going to bring it around?" or even ask if he had any pics of it.

He'd go from "umm, oh...it's at my grandpa's shop where I "store" it" to "I don't have insurance on it" and on and on and on with lame ass shit.

One day he shows up somewhere a bunch of us are hanging out and makes his way on over to me and says "look I brought my keys for the M5 with me today!". I look and it's some damn house keys and a BMW keychain! I said to him "WTF would a M5 not have a keyless entry or keyfob? You can buy a keychain with any car brand symbol"

Totally blank on his face and he grabs his phone out of his pocket and puts it up to his ear and says "hello" then says "gotta take this call" and walks away.

His phone did not ring or vibrate, just so damn laughable yet sad.

That was probably one of the last times he hung out with our group of friends.

Did it look like this?

 

[HamburgerBoy]

Sounds like a kid in the preteen to adolescent phase who never grew out of it. There was always some kid in my school saying his dad works for Nintendo and got him all 250 Pokemon (back when there were just 151), or how his uncle owns a Ferrari dealership and takes him for joyrides whenever he wants, or any number of things.

I figured people stopped doing that once they turned ~17 but apparently I was wrong.

lol, yeah, this is what I would have thought too. In 3rd grade there was this kid who always talked about how the cops were after him and that one day he egged a cop car from his attic window as it was driving by. He said that they then opened fire and that he would have died if he didn't have a grenade and kill all the cops or somesuch. Another time he built a catapult and launched a flaming boulder onto his friend's car or something. I like to think that he doesn't tell such stories today.

 

[lokiju]

Did it look like this?

Blocked url I guess?

Not sure what the **** are supposed to be...

 

[Doppel]

Can't stand them, avoid at all costs.

 

[Muse]

Well, I don't currently know a pathological liar. I think I tend to avoid people like that. There's a song, you know, "Let that Liar Alone." You've probably heard it, I heard it just yesterday.

It would drive me nuts to be friends with a guy like that. Myself, I'm very much a truth teller. Maybe it's a sign of diminished imagination. It takes a lot of imagination to be a good liar, well, to get away with it. The best liars have a lot of talent. There's not necessarily a lot of difference between a liar and a person who just makes up good stories. However, there are all kinds of liars including malicious ones, which is basically what that song's about. I think that some people are liars because fiction can be more interesting than reality. I think some of the best stand up comics started out like that. It can be a weird world!

 

[Muse]

Lying to get out of events/whatever is no big deal. We all do it.

Not really, I really don't lie. However, I do sometimes look for a way to respond that's less painful than others, but lie, no. And you know, there are benefits to being a truth teller. I used to have people think I was lieing and I didn't like it. It was aggravating and depressing. So, I decided to be a truth teller. It doesn't happen over night. You have to practice it for a while, maybe years, but eventually, people do not doubt you. You have an air of honesty about you. It's kind of cool. I know when I'm in a circumstance in which the person I'm communicating with would recognize that I might have something to gain by lieing. However, I never lie in those circumstances. Never. It really does make life easier for me. If you don't live that way you are asking for trouble.

 

[Muse]

I'm not sure. Especially with people who get under my skin, I will sometimes make up grandiose claims, stories, or experience to throw them off or deter them from their original goal. Maybe I should be a lawyer

But I should reiterate that I don't lie for pointless reasons (I have a BMW M3, I am a 1%er, etc)

Ah, I went through a period in my life in which if I thought a person was displaying insufficient imagination I would just put them on. I don't consider that lieing, I just would say something to lead them to a conclusion that was untenable and let them sort it out on their own. I thought that entirely justified. I wouldn't do this for personal gain, just as a ruse to augment the life of the imagination, both in myself and those I encountered (i.e. the "victims"). I suppose I can still do that if and when I care to, but my current life style doesn't put me in those situations so much. Putting people on is different from lieing to them. A liar doesn't want his victim to know he's lieing to them. If you put someone on you want them to know it, sooner or later! A good sense of humor really helps.

 

[Muse]

Because I thought I was going insane with my radar going off through so many of his fishy lies! Yet I had no real confirmation. I did it to confirm my sanity and validity of bullshit radar.

I think that's pretty harmless making that call.

 

[nanette1985]

Interesting thread. I dated a guy last summer that told a lot of pointless lies - for example he had to go out of town on business and he called to tell me he was in St. Louis - but later I talked to his business partner and found out he'd really gone to Minneapolis (of all the silly things to lie about? creepy! makes no sense. he was nice looking, great company, and so on - but I finally had to let go of him.

I don't have a good enough memory to lie.

 

[Muse]

I lie to get out of going places with people. I know why I do it though. I don't fucking want to go, I don't want to get into an explanation of why I don't want to go, and I don't want them to think I don't like them.

Shit, just tell them you like them but you don't want to go. It's too much trouble? Well, it's your life and I can't tell you how to live it. I like to put a spin on some things, I might say "well, I'll think about it." That isn't a lie. I'm careful not to lie.

 

[Muse]

I'd say it's a mix of this, as well as some kind of rush that most pathological liars get from lying. For some, the addiction comes from the high they feel when they get away with something/attempt to deceive someone and succeed (hence the addiction portion of pathological lying: feels good --> compulsion to continue behavior). This is probably more the case with pathological liars that lie about big things, the sorts that hurt others. Not sure how true this is for your friend, but it's probably at least a small part of what's going on.

This reminds me of a fantastic song by MC 900 Foot Jesus, "The Killer Inside Me"

He describes himself (a fantasy song with a great beat), pulling people's legs, talking their ears off, basically confounding them with his prodigious imagination spinning yarns and blowing their minds. They never get it what he's doing. Here are the lyrics:
- - - -

You've probably seen me hanging around
I'm a very familiar face in this town.
A day doesn't go by that I don't meet
a lot of my friends walking down the street.
I'm never too busy to stop by the way
and I've always got something pleasant to say.
Maybe some perceptive thoughts about the weather
or the latest news from Wall Street, whatever.
I could stand around all day making small talk
gushing platitudes, blocking the sidewalk
tying people up for hours with ease,
my one big talent is shooting the breeze.
When they start to squirm, I really get going
but only my happy-face smile is showing.
Why can't they see what I'm trying to hide,
I'm bustin' a gut, laughing on the inside.
It's in their smile when I say hello
I can see they think I'm a little bit slow.
But after a while with me, they look dazed
their eyes covered with a donut glaze.
I really start to cook when I see that look
I hit 'em with every cliché in the book.
Their knees wobble and they start to weave
it's like they're begging for permission to leave,
they think they are having a brush with stupidity
I don't laugh, even though it's killing me.
Watching them wilt like day-old flowers
Ticking off the minutes as they turn to hours.
They are wondering how much more they can take
I give 'em a friendly smile and a handshake.
We say goodbye very politely
Now say hello to the killer inside me

Now say hello to the killer inside me.
Everybody has their doubts about my sanity
But nothing happens 'cause they all feel sorry for me
I've got the whole town under my thumb
and all I've gotta do is keep acting dumb.
"Oh that boy Lou" they say "what a guy,
a little on the slow side but wouldn't hurt a fly"
"and such a gentleman!" "Oh yes I know.
he sure can talk your ear off though!"
I tip my hat and pretend I don't hear
grinning like a half-wit from ear to ear
I can think of a thousand ways to say hello
so I start through 'em all, and go real slow.
They listen hard, and act like they care.
How can they be so completely unaware
of the truth the answer is always denied me
So I introduce them to the killer inside me.

 

[Muse]

On the flipside, I know someone who tells a ton of stories about stuff that happened before I knew him that I thought was extremely improbable and likely exaggerated to make a better story. But since we've been friends for more than a decade now, I've been in some of those extremely improbable situations with him--some people really do experience the most unexpected stuff and they're not exaggerating or lying about it in any way. However, I suspect this type of person is much more rare than someone who lies about stuff to make themselves look better.

It's true some people can really blow your mind with their recollections of their experiences. I've met a several of these people. Meeting them in itself can be an experience of a lifetime, well, an experience you never want to forget, a mind expanding experience.

 

[Joseph F]

what's worse is the people who honestly believe it when they lie. Such as a event happens and they lie about it to the point they think the lie is true.

I actually did this, once.
When I smoked my first cigarette, I accidentally burned down my shen in the process. <= True story, bro.
After my parents figured out that I was the one who burned it down, I just told them that I was playing with matches and had a fire-starting problem. (Which I did, to some degree (Would strike matches outside out of boredom)
I told the story that way so many times, that I had almost started to believe it. D:

On pathological liars: My cousin was/is one. While he has mostly canned the bullshit over the years, he still has a tall tale or two to tell from time to time. (Say that three-times fast! )

 

[Baked]

Lying to get out of events/whatever is no big deal. We all do it.

Just you. It's unforgivable.

 

[Joseph F]

You're friends with FBB in real life?

As for you not getting it, that's the thing, I'm pretty sure its a psychological issue that they really can't control, kinda like tourrettes (sp?) or OCD (and not the dipshit Reddit OCD).

I wouldn't say that Tourette syndrome is completely uncontrollable.
When I get tics, I usually feel them coming on. And I can control them, somewhat.

Of course, I can't speak for the people who have it really bad, like every 30 seconds bad.