I got Millennial'ed at Work

[monkeydelmagico]

Sounds like you got hit with an emotional reasoning type. Facts don't mean much to them. Doesn't help that she is in a protected class. Watch your ass buddy. Make sure HR has all the FACTS.

 

[mrjminer]

Pretty ridiculous.

Sounds like she is a dumbass that shouldn't be in the job to begin with. Even if you think you're right when you're wrong, you should always bring your options / criticisms out more questioningly and respectfully since it yields good information to help avoid being wrong in the future. She seems to think crying about it will be a solution. Might as well just recommend they fire her now, she's obviously unqualified and has a poor attitude / ethic about her.

Also, I would recommend to your HR / bosses that they put a woman as her lead so they won't get sued when they fire her for obvious incompetence.

 

[Humpy]

I am also a millienal.

That explains a lot.

You can't just talk to girls like they are all your mom.

You'll start to understand this as you get a little older. For now just apologize to your coworker and try to listen a little more.

 

[Rumpltzer]

I'm not offended that the OP generalized millennials. I get that he was trying to be humorous.

I work in a highly technical area. My company is huge, but I work in a smaller area and department with a lot of advanced degrees and strong personalities. If you're of particular usefulness, you generally become entrenched because you become too valuable to lose. There's not a well-defined technical track at my company, but there is a well-defined managerial track with many levels. Those who end up in managerial positions are often not technical powerhouses. Some are also insecure to the point where they prefer (and promote) underlings who go-along, make no waves, and won't argue with them.

In other words, I work in a place that's full of drama, insecurity, and BS. So I sympathize with the OP, and I understand that he came here to vent... and I'm here to provide that hug that he might need.

I've never understood the threat of "going to HR". I feel that adults (in most cases, including this one) should be able to work things out on their own. I mean, I understand that HR is needed in some cases, but I've been threatened more than a few times with the HR thing, and I've never seen it as a threat. I'd tell HR my side, and in most cases they saw it my way (or at least pretended that they did). From my perspective, HR mostly just wants problems to go away, and they do the least possible work to make it go away.

I suppose that I am fortunate; I made myself indispensable after less than 10 years at my workplace. If I have strong feelings about not wanting to work with someone, I have enough clout to eject that person from my work. It hardly comes up, though. I may not always be very nice about it, but I can accommodate most people... even the dumb ones. They are prevalent. Get used to it.

 

[MaxDepth]

As a senior person myself, I've run into this before. I just make sure I have the CYA email, copied to both bosses, where evidence is presented. If she is in the PM role, then let her fall. If she is just a business analyst assigned to the project, then ensure she is kept in the communications but allowed no interaction with the project until she get a thorough understanding of corporate guidelines and practices.

 

[angminas]

poped up

That explains a lot.

You can't just talk to girls like they are all your mom.

You'll start to understand this as you get a little older. For now just apologize to your coworker and try to listen a little more.

Did you miss the part where she stormed out of a meeting? That's insubordination, and it should usually get the person fired.

 

[dave_the_nerd]

So she's a crappy employee. It happens. I've seen the same sort of "lalalaicanthearyou" behavior from grizzled senior engineers, when their passion projects get taken down a peg.

If she excels in other areas, she'll probably be kept around, so make peace with it.

 

[Rifter]

Did you miss the part where she stormed out of a meeting? That's insubordination, and it should usually get the person fired.

I agree, insubordination is instant dismissal, period.

 

[Zorba]

So she's a crappy employee. It happens. I've seen the same sort of "lalalaicanthearyou" behavior from grizzled senior engineers, when their passion projects get taken down a peg.

If she excels in other areas, she'll probably be kept around, so make peace with it.

I work at a huge company, she could literally not do anything for years and she would still be around, basically no one gets fired. I do think she has probably pulled this crap before, based on how her lead was acting when I told him about it.

 

[angminas]

So she's a crappy employee. It happens. I've seen the same sort of "lalalaicanthearyou" behavior from grizzled senior engineers, when their passion projects get taken down a peg.

If she excels in other areas, she'll probably be kept around, so make peace with it.

What I read seemed to indicate that she doesn't excel and is nothing like a senior engineer.

 

[Mike64]

That explains a lot.

You can't just talk to girls like they are all your mom.

You'll start to understand this as you get a little older. For now just apologize to your coworker and try to listen a little more.

Holy carp! Did you just actually "say that out loud"? One should be able to talk to colleagues who happen to be "girls" (we are talking about a technically* fully-grown woman in a full-time job) the same way you talk to a male co-worker. And apologize for what? For not "allowing her to be 'right' " when she was 100% wrong? This isn't 1963, and the OP wasn't trying to get laid or having an argument with his girlfriend (and even then...) It's been almost twenty years, wake up and smell the 21st century, willya?

____________
* I say that not as a comment on her apparent emotional age, but my own advance toward old fartdom, which makes it increasingly difficult for me to see anyone in their early 20s as "fully-grown". Though otoh, I have no more problem with millenials than anyone else (in fact in some ways less) even if, as I advance toward old-fartdom, I find it harder to view most of them as "fully grown"...

 

[Darwin333]

Yup, fresh out of school, ready and willing to take on the world. We were all there once. Some ppl learn faster than others. Most don't even know how much space your giving them.

I dunno, I never would have thought of storming out of a meeting and saying "That is so offensive" in response to what was said. Hell if I somehow lost my damn mind and did pull a stunt like, that under those circumstances, I probably wouldn't have even went back to collect my last check out of extreme embarrassment.

 

[Printer Bandit]

IS SHE HOT?

 

[Mike64]

I probably wouldn't have even went back to collect my last check out of extreme embarrassment.

And considered myself extremely lucky if I'd been there a short enough time to get away with leaving the place off my resume entirely... /

 

[Darwin333]

I am curious, did you at any time ask her to explain her position on the subject and why she thought what she thought?

I'm not sure exactly what they were arguing about but would you ask someone the same thing if they argued your math of 1+1=2 was wrong? I personally wouldn't, I'd just tell them they were wrong and show them why. Asking them to explain why they thought it equaled 3 wouldn't even cross my mind because just the fact they were arguing with me over the fact means I've already exceeded my recommended daily dose of dumbshit. An explanation would expose me to even more dumbshit which would put me in severe danger of dumbshit overdose which could have disastrous repercussions to myself and everyone in the general vicinity.

 

[Darwin333]

IS SHE HOT?

Ahh, this is indeed an important question as to why the "lead" (not sure exactly what position that is) would put up with her. Perhaps he is banging her, or hopes to be.

I have never worked a single job that you could storm out of a meeting under those circumstances and keep your job. Hell I've never worked with other people that would do so with any sort of dignity. She couldn't handle 10 minutes of one of my many weekly meetings.

OTOH, if she can't or won't be fired OP it seems like you have a pretty foolproofed way of getting rid of the dumbshit during meetings. Just stop giving a fuck that she stormed out and see it as the benefit that it is.

 

[Darwin333]

And considered myself extremely lucky if I"d been there a short enough time to get away with leaving the place off my resume entirely... /

Indeed, hadn't even thought of that but damn good point.

 

[werepossum]

Not sure why people always blame this sort of stuff on millenials these days. Maybe it's just convenient. This type of stuff has happened for just about forever.

Because these days millennials are the ones doing it. (Not being wrong, or being obnoxious, just being obnoxious about people pointing out that they are wrong.) Back in the day, older people certainly complained about those behaving badly at the moment, but since they didn't have Al Gore's Internet, peace be upon him, not many people heard them.

 

[HamburgerBoy]

I still alternate between living in my mom's basement and at my lab bench so maybe I'll end up another victim of millennialism, but as young relatives join the work force I'm hearing many anecdotes of princesses and dudebros realizing that decades of pampering and protection from work doesn't help in the long run. Spoiled children diagnosed with multiple personality disorders in elementary school, given meds and 1.5x exam time, coast their way through life on a cloud of rich daddy's connections and then can't hack it when forced to actually work on their own. Can't wait until China destroys our way of life and the futures of all these worthless degenerates.

 

[ImpulsE69]

I'm not sure exactly what they were arguing about but would you ask someone the same thing if they argued your math of 1+1=2 was wrong? I personally wouldn't, I'd just tell them they were wrong and show them why. Asking them to explain why they thought it equaled 3 wouldn't even cross my mind because just the fact they were arguing with me over the fact means I've already exceeded my recommended daily dose of dumbshit. An explanation would expose me to even more dumbshit which would put me in severe danger of dumbshit overdose which could have disastrous repercussions to myself and everyone in the general vicinity.

Depends on the actual scenario. Pretty sure that this was beyond something as simple as 1+1=2. I mean, one thing as the 'young one' on my team years ago I learned is that people who've been around forever get very set in their ways and are completely baffled by new concepts or changes to thought processes and refuse to listen. Heck I've been guilty of it myself. Not saying that is the case here or in every case, but I am always open to hear why someone else thinks what they think at least to at the minimum attempt to figure out wtf is going on in their head.

 

[Darwin333]

Depends on the actual scenario. Pretty sure that this was beyond something as simple as 1+1=2. I mean, one thing as the 'young one' on my team years ago I learned is that people who've been around forever get very set in their ways and are completely baffled by new concepts or changes to thought processes and refuse to listen. Heck I've been guilty of it myself. Not saying that is the case here or in every case, but I am always open to hear why someone else thinks what they think at least to at the minimum attempt to figure out wtf is going on in their head.

Oh I agree with your above post but from everything I got from the OP it was a "1+1=2" scenario where there was only a single right answer. If that isn't the case then I will quickly revise my position but regardless her response was completely uncalled for, again assuming the OPs account is accurate.

 

[yhelothar]

Well, she was offended after being told she was wrong and stormed out.

Did she even wonder why OP didn't storm out when she told him he was wrong?

My impression of girls is that they tend to be extremely self-centered.

Well, she was offended after being told she was wrong and stormed out.

Did she even wonder why OP didn't storm out when she told him he was wrong?

My impression of blacks is that they tend to be extremely self-centered.

Replace Millennial with any other demographics of people and realize how ridiculous your argument is. You're generalizing an entire demographic based off the actions of one person. It's incredibly stupid.

 

[96Firebird]

How old is this girl? You said she was a year out of college, which means she could really be either a late millennial or an early Gen Z. If she is indeed a Gen Z, your whole thread is built on a base of lies and you probably suck at your job, should be fired and work in a field that requires little brain power so you don't strain yourself.

 

[Ruptga]

Replace Millennial with any other demographics of people and realize how ridiculous your argument is. You're generalizing an entire demographic based off the actions of one person. It's incredibly stupid.

Well, not really. People in general are self-centered.

 

[IronWing]

Well, not really. People in general are self-centered.

Not me, I'm way off center.