I've decided that I should give up. The rational part of me believes I should because it knows me far too well.
I'm pretty unhappy right now. The only girl I've had real interest in in the past year just lied to my face when she knows that I hate people who lie. Then she belittled me even though we had become friends. I don't know what she was thinking, but she's definitely taken the best approach to make me hate her. So, now I am giving up on girls because that was the only one I've had any real interest in in a long time (Arguably the only one that actually mattered, the only one I had liked because of her personality more than her looks(she's cute too)). I have tried to pursue other girls that I wasn't really interested in just so that I could get over her. It never worked... So, now I have to give up.
Similarly, school. I can't deal with all this shit in my life (have the perma-sads essentially) and then be expected to 4.0 school. I'm going to try to stop worrying about whatever major I am going to be in and just deal with it.
Dancing stuff (My main social outlet). I was on my way to becoming an instructor and now I am not really interested in pursuing any of it right now. A lot of people up here think I am pretty good and there was some people willing to invest in me. It's also lead me to the most sad-moments because I meet girls there and they always lie. There's also a lot of disappointment in the community. A lot of people are very bad.
Friends. Trying to give that up. I've become quite tired of the bullshit most people say. I'm not going to actively pursue friendships anymore. It's not worth my time or energy because in the end: people will only be friends with me when they want to be friends with me more than I want to with them. And considering I've probably lost one good friend (the girl) thanks to her finally showing a side that I really wish never existed, then it's probably a good time to stop hoping people are going to be honest.
So, now I am here. Stuck in the sads and I have a lot of homework. A lot. Also, I woke up at 4:30PM today. Going to see a doctor about some sleep meds because I am tired of laying in bed.
I'm pretty unhappy right now. The only girl I've had real interest in in the past year just lied to my face when she knows that I hate people who lie. Then she belittled me even though we had become friends. I don't know what she was thinking, but she's definitely taken the best approach to make me hate her. So, now I am giving up on girls because that was the only one I've had any real interest in in a long time (Arguably the only one that actually mattered, the only one I had liked because of her personality more than her looks(she's cute too)). I have tried to pursue other girls that I wasn't really interested in just so that I could get over her. It never worked... So, now I have to give up.
Similarly, school. I can't deal with all this shit in my life (have the perma-sads essentially) and then be expected to 4.0 school. I'm going to try to stop worrying about whatever major I am going to be in and just deal with it.
Dancing stuff (My main social outlet). I was on my way to becoming an instructor and now I am not really interested in pursuing any of it right now. A lot of people up here think I am pretty good and there was some people willing to invest in me. It's also lead me to the most sad-moments because I meet girls there and they always lie. There's also a lot of disappointment in the community. A lot of people are very bad.
Friends. Trying to give that up. I've become quite tired of the bullshit most people say. I'm not going to actively pursue friendships anymore. It's not worth my time or energy because in the end: people will only be friends with me when they want to be friends with me more than I want to with them. And considering I've probably lost one good friend (the girl) thanks to her finally showing a side that I really wish never existed, then it's probably a good time to stop hoping people are going to be honest.
So, now I am here. Stuck in the sads and I have a lot of homework. A lot. Also, I woke up at 4:30PM today. Going to see a doctor about some sleep meds because I am tired of laying in bed.