I Hate My Kid

[Michael]

I'm curious. How many of the posters in this thread have raised any kids, especially teenagers?

If memory serves me, Red Dawn has.

For the others, how the hell would you know what is the right thing to do?

Michael

ps - Carbo - good rant. I hope it helped to let some of it out. I'm willing to bet that it works out fine in the end. I have one daughter and another on the way and I'm thinking of building myself a bunker in advance so I can seek shelter during their teenage years.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Nitemare
2 words for you..
boarding school

She behaves this way because you allow her to

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Tell her No once and mean it. Take the phone away from her by all means. Ration her phone use. She has no discipline nor fear of reprisal, this is why she behaves this way. If you act fast you can avoid a repeat performance by child number 2.

FYI discipline doesn't have to involve violence.

You can apply the rod in more ways than the physical one, gopunk

just sort of wave it in front of them? the whole thing behind that is that if you don't physically punish your child they'll be spoiled. i mean, that's what a rod is for, right?

As opposed to telling them they better do something or else..telling them No and not meaning it, letting them walk all over you and totally disrespect their elders?

Sometimes physical punishment is necessary..

Cause and effect..I do this and I will probably get this done(either physical, paddling or having privileges removed) I see how kids are raised nowadays and their total lack of respect of the elders and their self righteous indignation that the world owes them..and I'm embarassed because of it. My child will not behave that way, nor will his/her friends once they enter my house.

 

[Red Dawn]

I'm curious. How many of the posters in this thread have raised any kids, especially teenagers?

If memory serves me, Red Dawn has.

3 boys (no Daughters thank God!). There was some of that entitlement BS but it really wasn't to bad. All 3 had jobs when they were teenagers so they had their own money plus they also helped with yard work. That's not to say there wasn't some tense times, but that's all history and I remember mostly the good times now. .

 

[pillage2001]

Did jerboy read this??

 

[Red Dawn]

Did jerboy read this??

Jerboy's lucky someone hasn't put him out of their misery.

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Nitemare
2 words for you..
boarding school

She behaves this way because you allow her to

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Tell her No once and mean it. Take the phone away from her by all means. Ration her phone use. She has no discipline nor fear of reprisal, this is why she behaves this way. If you act fast you can avoid a repeat performance by child number 2.

FYI discipline doesn't have to involve violence.

You can apply the rod in more ways than the physical one, gopunk

just sort of wave it in front of them? the whole thing behind that is that if you don't physically punish your child they'll be spoiled. i mean, that's what a rod is for, right?

As opposed to telling them they better do something or else..telling them No and not meaning it, letting them walk all over you and totally disrespect their elders?

Sometimes physical punishment is necessary..

Cause and effect..I do this and I will probably get this done(either physical, paddling or having privileges removed) I see how kids are raised nowadays and their total lack of respect of the elders and their self righteous indignation that the world owes them..and I'm embarassed because of it. My child will not behave that way, nor will his/her friends once they enter my house.

you confuse non-violent punishment with lack of punishment. you don't have to be violent to be a good parent. i see how kids are raised too, with a lack of punishment, and that sickens me. but what also sickens me is that some parents decide to resort to violence and fear to raise their child.

 

[pillage2001]

Wopz...DP

 

[Red Dawn]

i see how kids are raised too, with a lack of punishment, and that sickens me. but what also sickens me is that some parents decide to resort to violence and fear to raise their child.

Sounds like you are one sick dude!

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Red Dawn

i see how kids are raised too, with a lack of punishment, and that sickens me. but what also sickens me is that some parents decide to resort to violence and fear to raise their child.

Sounds like you are one sick dude!

haha yea i guess you could say that. ok, who wants to see my collection of human skulls?

 

[Nitemare]

you confuse non-violent punishment with lack of punishment. you don't have to be violent to be a good parent. i see how kids are raised too, with a lack of punishment, and that sickens me. but what also sickens me is that some parents decide to resort to violence and fear to raise their child.

Without punishment..all one has is anarchy
Look at the American Legal system. (Well outside of the rich and famous)

What if a murderer, rapist, thief or criminal knew that there would be no repercussions for their behavior?

All I'm saying is my child will not be brought up in the anarchy that is today's family raising of choice, and neither will his friends if they expect to come over and play. I do not advocate fear in child rearing, but sometimes it is required to maintain order...Mind you, this should be fear of doing something not ones parents...

 

[gopunk]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

you confuse non-violent punishment with lack of punishment. you don't have to be violent to be a good parent. i see how kids are raised too, with a lack of punishment, and that sickens me. but what also sickens me is that some parents decide to resort to violence and fear to raise their child.

Without punishment..all one has is anarchy
Look at the American Legal system. (Well outside of the rich and famous)

What if a murderer, rapist, thief or criminal knew that there would be no repercussions for their behavior?

All I'm saying is my child will not be brought up in the anarchy that is today's family raising of choice, and neither will his friends if they expect to come over and play. I do not advocate fear in child rearing, but sometimes it is required to maintain order...Mind you, this should be fear of doing something not ones parents...

even rapists and thieves are not subjected to violence (at least in theory) and hopefully your child isn't that bad. once again, you confuse lack of punishment with non-violent punishment. you don't have to be violent to punish! if you beat your child, they will fear you and they will learn that violence is a means to an end.

 

[gar598]

Someone needs a trip to the woodshed

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Nitemare

you confuse non-violent punishment with lack of punishment. you don't have to be violent to be a good parent. i see how kids are raised too, with a lack of punishment, and that sickens me. but what also sickens me is that some parents decide to resort to violence and fear to raise their child.

Without punishment..all one has is anarchy
Look at the American Legal system. (Well outside of the rich and famous)

What if a murderer, rapist, thief or criminal knew that there would be no repercussions for their behavior?

All I'm saying is my child will not be brought up in the anarchy that is today's family raising of choice, and neither will his friends if they expect to come over and play. I do not advocate fear in child rearing, but sometimes it is required to maintain order...Mind you, this should be fear of doing something not ones parents...

even rapists and thieves are not subjected to violence (at least in theory) and hopefully your child isn't that bad. once again, you confuse lack of punishment with non-violent punishment. you don't have to be violent to punish! if you beat your child, they will fear you and they will learn that violence is a means to an end.

I, and numerous board members, were spanked as children and yet we didn't fear our parents then nor do we now..

You are confusing spanking with child abuse...

 

[ndee]

I find it somehow silly if ya can't handle a 14year old girl, but that's just me. (I'm 20)

BTW, you said both of you worked. Maybe you hadn't have enough time for the kid when she was smaller like Kindergarten-Age or anything? I noticed that kids, who didn't got enough attention when they were little, are really difficult teenagers.

Just my opinion.

 

[Angrymarshmello]

Carbo - I read all of that, and paragraphs are your friends. Anyway, that's somewhat of a typical teenager, although a bit spoiled. I would definetly cut off her $$ supply until she gets her act straight. Can't do much with friends when you don't have money.

 

[Sepen]

Originally posted by: murphy55d
And this is different from many other 14 year olds how?

Sounds just like my 16 yr old sister.

This sounds like my 16 and 17 year olds. The 19 is past the I owe her everything stage, although I did have to fix her car which reminds me that she hasn't repaid me the $230 yet! Hahahaha...tis be life, they get over it sooner or later.

I wish I had a Mom and Dad to hate now and then. They are both deceased.

 

[yourharddrive]

sounds to me like you're being a little too nice....put your foot down and tell her that if you are to pay for all the stuff that she wants then she's gotta start doing stuff that you want.....if that doesn't work well......there's always the belt

 

[amnesiac]

While I wish my parents had been more understanding and involved with my life, or even just LISTENED to me once in a while, I cannot deny that they have provided more for me than 99.999% of kids on this planet. They've paid for 12 years of private school from 1st-12th grade, 5 years of college, rent, car, etc. etc. Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm spoiled. But I don't take it for granted. I know the free handouts won't last forever and have prepared myself accordingly.

 

[Geekbabe]

Carbo,

I raised two daughters and am in the home stretch now with a son !!!

All I can tell you is that as teenagers both my daughters were difficult.I know you haven't asked for any advice and I won't attempt to give any, just offer you the support of somebody who's been in the trenches.
Hard as it is to believe it will get better !

 

[tkim]

not to say anyones situation is worse or better than the next but you all have to admit that there are some cases out there that dont fit the "normal" category.

teenagers will be teenagers. parents will be parents. however, there comes a point when it gets out of hand, a parent who is too harsh or strict and a child who is just out of control. not to anyones fault but it happens.

if anyones gotta b1tch about it, let them be. it's better than a mass shooting happening.

 

[datalink7]

Am I the only kid in the whole world who never fought with my parents and always accented to their will while I lived with them? I seriously never raised my voice once.

 

[etalns]

Just dont use physical means to show her what you mean... :S

 

[dafatha00]

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Nitemare

Originally posted by: gopunk

Originally posted by: Nitemare
2 words for you..
boarding school

She behaves this way because you allow her to

Spare the rod and spoil the child. Tell her No once and mean it. Take the phone away from her by all means. Ration her phone use. She has no discipline nor fear of reprisal, this is why she behaves this way. If you act fast you can avoid a repeat performance by child number 2.

FYI discipline doesn't have to involve violence.

You can apply the rod in more ways than the physical one, gopunk

just sort of wave it in front of them? the whole thing behind that is that if you don't physically punish your child they'll be spoiled. i mean, that's what a rod is for, right?

As opposed to telling them they better do something or else..telling them No and not meaning it, letting them walk all over you and totally disrespect their elders?

Sometimes physical punishment is necessary..

Cause and effect..I do this and I will probably get this done(either physical, paddling or having privileges removed) I see how kids are raised nowadays and their total lack of respect of the elders and their self righteous indignation that the world owes them..and I'm embarassed because of it. My child will not behave that way, nor will his/her friends once they enter my house.

I completely agree. Physical punishment is oftentimes necessary because the child is not always in the control of the parents. Once a child begins school and meets new friends, there are many new influences that will change a child's life. Many times, for the worse. This is the point where parents can resort to non-physical punishment or physical punishment. Unfortunately, the former is many times not taken seriously and the child begins to walk all over the parents.

I'm not advocating permanent damage such as scarring and such. But I do believe that depending on the situation, firm physical punishment may turn a child into a better person.

 

[datalink7]

Physical punishment isn't neccesary. Diciplin is still required, but resorting to violence doesn't have to be a factor in it. My parents never gave out corporal punishment, and I turned out (realitively ) fine.

 

[RudeBoie]

This is the kind of stuff that makes me worry about having kids. If most kids are this way, our world is in trouble. While Bernie Mac jokes around, if I had kids and they acted this way, I'd BEAT THE CRAP out of them. And that's being f'ing nice.