I Hate My Kid

[narzy]

my dads an ass nut. my mom and I left him when I was four. we now live 3000 miles away and are happy with my new step father .

 

[flavio]

Originally posted by: imtim83
Well this is one reason not to have kids and why i never will. Thats 100% never btw.

How old are you? You seem awfully messed up in the head.

 

[kumanchu]

It seems to me like you need to put your foot down and really start disciplining her hard.

things like that and yanking the phone and all of that kind of stuff could get you into a lot more trouble too. My brother and I weren't necessarily the same as your daughter, but we were i guess rebelious around that age. my brother did the whole "i hate everyone" thing like your daughter while i did not. in anycase we are only a year and a half apart so i guess we went through the phase pretty much together. when we were "disciplined" we ran away from home. my brother was gone for about two months, and i was gone for about the same. afterwards we were locked up in juvenile detention centers and were in and out for about a year. true we weren't having trouble in school besides the abscences while we were in juvy, and we still attended somewhat regularly after leaving home. if any of you are in the MD VA DC area about 6-7 years ago you probably remember a huge rise in teen korean "organizations" (we were sort of the first asian youths in the area to get together in this fashion). we knew a lot of other people like us, all in the same age group of around 14-20.

what brought my brother and I back, was our parents understanding and support from the rest of our family, like our cousins and grandparents, aunts and uncles. to get to my point, the ones who were disciplined harder only got harder, those who were brought to their families with love grew out of the stage much faster. eventually your daughter will appreciate the things you do for her. at the moment i'm sure its hard like crazy to love her. but the more you love her now, the more she will appreciate you later. my family (my bro mom dad) is really very healthy now. we talk like normal people, we have nothing that holds us back or any pretenses between us. we are open and honest, and have reasonable responses and such. we ENJOY spending time together as well with extended family. true we may still go out more than we should, but we aren't getting into any trouble or anything anymore.

though i don't know how radically your daughter react, but it may be a good thing to keep this in mind if you are thinking about cracking down.

 

[WyteWatt]

flavio sure you think its not normal to not want to have kids, not to want to be married, not to ever want to go on a date, not to ever want to be engaged. Well guess what please define the word normal. There is no one.

 

[notfred]

Originally posted by: imtim83
Well this is one reason not to have kids and why i never will. Thats 100% never btw.

I wish your parents shared the same viewpoint as you, cause the world would be better off with on less moron in it.
However, I'd like to commend you on your chioce to voluntarily remove yourself from the genepool.

 

[WyteWatt]

notfred thank you. I wish no one reproducted hehe.

 

[flavio]

flavio sure you think its not normal to not want to have kids, not to want to be married, not to ever want to go on a date, not to ever want to be engaged. Well guess what please define the word normal. There is no one.

Yeah so what happened to you? You're a little wacky. Maybe you're just really young...how old are you? I'm glad you don't want kids....or to date. You might hear some "dirty words".

 

[WyteWatt]

Well for one i may be that too you but i am just very differenct thats all. I am sure there are other people in the world like me. I bet more than i even think. BTW i have always hated curse words and bad words. I never curse and never will. I just do not like those words. They do nothing for anyone.

 

[cavdraco]

carbo even though I dont now or are ever likely to have kids ( personal choice between my wife and I ) i wish you the best of luck with your daughter she is lucky to have 2 parents who love her

cav

 

[fjorner]

Originally posted by: Descartes
Isn't that somewhat typical of kids that age?

No, it's not typical of all kids that age. I wasn't that way. None of my friends were. My four brothers and sisters aren't. My wife wasn't. My wife's family wasn't. My wife's friends weren't. And we were two different people in high school.

My daughter isn't.

Don't damn all teenagers to being brats, but in the same don't allow any of them to walk all over you.

While I believe kids choose their own way in life, as I did in mine, we are raised by our parents.

 

[Koing]

Respect.

I think she has none for you. I would be much harder on her. Get her to get a job if she wants more money. You pay for everything for her. Have a system where if she wants something she has to pay half of it and then you pull in the other half. That to me seems fair. Then shes learning the value of money.

Be more strict with her. Your word is FINAL.

I had no problems with my parents really. I've grown to respect them much more as I got older and matured and being less of a lazy ass kid. I offered to mow the lawn on Sunday actually felt really good. Will be cutting it everytime it gets long.

My parents do a lot for me so its the least I can do. She should be thinking along the lines of this attitude towards you. Some how teach her how shes VERY LUCKY to have the things she has, food, good health etc. I came from a very poor country and had to start England with nothing with my parents. I know not having things and such so I value everything that I have today.

I work at my parents shop 5 till 9 EVERY Friday and Saturday nights. Sure its a bit of a killer on me going out but its one of the things I do. I just go out a bit later. I'm still going to carry this on when I at University this September. I told them this and they were all very shocked that I'll be commuting back then going to work. About 1hr round trip to go to work. But I figure its not bad I'll make loads of friends and just go out after work and get back in to London. But at the end of the day my parents need me to work so I'll do it. They are paying for all of my Uni fees, acomodation and food So I'll come back and work.

I definately think its a respect thing. I respect my parents alot so I'm not so bothered about missing out on some things.

 

[narzy]

opps hehe, wrong quote. now I have to re read to find the right one :Q.

 

[UltraQuiet]

It wasn't all that great, no reason to post it twice.

 

[Chrono]

you know, that's a horrible daughter. I say, disown her, j/k. Uhm... sounds very typical...
looks like she's taking advantage of dear old dad...

 

[badluck]

who wants to read all of that crap? condense!!!

 

[munruss]

In my opinion, kids today don't realize how good they have it until they actually loose it. Maybe if Mary knew how bad other kids have it, her attitude might change. Then again, it might not.

 

[Mursilis]

It is of course wrong to blame the parents for raising a child improperly - most parents don't raise thier own children anymore; babysitters and daycare workers do!! Because the typical modern parent usually isn't the adult the child spents the most waking hours with during the day, it's totally unfair to blame the parent, who simply funds the child's care and nurturing, but has no other signficant role in it! :disgust:

 

[bugsysiegel]

Holy crap, if my parents asked me to do something twice, it was with a belt the second time. I'd get the wooden spoon across the head if I said anything smart to Ma, until it broke, then she bought a metal spoon, which she bent on my grape, several times, and made me bend it back!

Of course, I grew up in a day before little a-hole kids were allowed, by our grossly-incompetent legal system, to sue Mom and Dad for smacking their smart, little mouths for them. (This was also in a day when morons who bought coffee at McDonald's actually expected it to be <gasp> HOT!)

I dunno, sounds like you need to smack her once or twice. If my kid ever made my wife cry because of her/his attitude, I'd surely not sit idly by.

IMHO, of course.

 

[DaddyCool]

If I had a dime for every time she cried, ?That?s not fair.?, I?d have more money than Bill Gates.

Bill probably has more daughters than you do. Just kidding about the wealth factor.

I don't have any kids, yet. The handle is just my nickname by my wifie.

After an attempt at remotely understanding your emotions, it made me contemplate about my life as a teenager, a rather "charmed life".

Thanks Mom & Dad.


disclaimer: my personal opinions....

On a side note: I think it has something to do with the laws of this country.

I grew up respecting my parents in everyway, even raising one's voice was a No-No.
Raised in a typical family of Daddy Breadwinner & Mommy Homemaker, disciplining came from both of my parents - tho I must say more disciplining was done by Dad.

Dunno how I'll bring up my children or even IF I'll bring up my children in this country.

Name ONE other country in the world that arrests you for spanking your own kid!
Almost all the countries in the East, as well as teenagers residing there accept or are tolerant of parents disciplining their kid/s.

On a contrasting note: In America, one can beat up your spouse but as long as the spouse is not willing to press charges, everything's sunshine & rainbows. What gives? What recourse does a MAN have when physically abused and financially dependent? What protects the abused?

Re children & income: Children were not expected to earn any income no matter how poor the family, except until they get married and/or decide to live on their own.

Other factors that make raising a kid harder in America I guess is when both the Mom & Pop works - result? Neglected, undisciplined kids. But the motivating factor behind both parents working I guess is the kind of lifestyle that afford the kids as well as the parents.

On an advisory note, I think there's some sorta medical insurance oriented for the self-employed... I forget the term now, but I think it's close to having cooperate ins coverage. You might wanna look into that.

To conclude,

Don't worry too much Carbo, your children will appreciate you as they get older & wiser............

Good luck.

 

[Carbo]

Thanks for the input, DaddyCool. I agree wholeheartedly that a large portion of the problem with kids today is that our society encourages such behavior. Does anyone think there is another country in the world where a kid will threaten a parent with a law suit if the parent smacks their ass? Preposterous! By twelve, these lil' spits learn such behavior from the other lil' spits they hang with.
My wife is from Colombia, and although she is in this country now about nine years, she still has trouble accepting the American culture when it comes to child rearing. So much so, in fact, we are contemplating a move to Europe of South America, where sitting down at a table for a slow, leisurely meal is the norm. Where 185 channel televisions are not a "required" part of a kids bedroom. Where eleven year olds with cell phones and pagers are unheard of.................

 

[sciencetoy]

Hey Carbo - no advice, I wouldn't dare. Just a mature nod of the head, yeah, this parent thing can be a drag. I often want to trade my kids in for some of those "perfect" kids they have on touchy-feely TV shows. A lot less wear and tear on the old man.

One of the bad parts is all the well-meaning advice you get. Don't worry about it. You're doing the best you can. This parent thing isn't like installing a chip in a computer, there are no right or wrong ways, there's no instruction manul, and the only time you get a final answer to "how's it going" is when you or she dies. It's just, survive.

Actually, your daughter sounds pretty good, considering. My 18-year-old was the quiet, nice, polite, helpful type when she was that age. Now, she's got a 9-month old. She's still quiet nice, polite & helpful, she & her crazy boyfriend just decided they wanted a family. Life's full of surprises.

Hang in there, it's quite a trip.

 

[Miramonti]

Tough situation - reasons why I'm scared of becoming a parent.

Somehow a parent has to be strong and draw the line and not take any crap while at the same time needs to do their best to make sure the kids always feel loved by the parents. That must be an enigma tho.

 

[Miramonti]

Originally posted by: Mwilding

if you ask me, i think your whole attitude is pathetic.

This is the very definition of the SKOORB EFFECT. Dumbass...

Be easy on him Mwilding, if you know french you know that he warned you in advance.

 

[huxley1]

haha, gotta love daughters man. They always say that boys are hard to take care of under ten years old and girls are harder and 10x worse to take care of above the age of 10

Myself? I had a brother and a sister. Brother was one year younger than I and my sister was a year and a half my elder. I am currently 20 years old. God do I remember my sister at that age, HELL HELL HELL, me and my brother werent the perfect kids but my sister was/is a complete bitch. She thought the world revolved around her...hell, she still thinks that. She would not do any house work, she would ask how come me and my brother dont have to do the dishes (when we just got done shoveling 2 feet of snow from our quarter mile long driveway) and then when my mom would tell her that, she would say it doesnt matter!!!

Basically, all of her hollering and fighting drove me to be an alcoholic at the age of 14 and my brother was a drug abuser and went to rehab at 14, not that I want to completely blame it on her...but I kind of do. Just sit in the basement and drink liquor while she was upstairs yelling so I could escape I guess. She is still a complete biyatch, asks my father to pay for her groceries and a bunch of other things when she moves out (she is 22 now and still lives at home and just finished 4 years of college and graduated) and I ask my parents only for what i really need or if I am in a lot of trouble financially since they arent rich (not poor either)

Anyway, she thinks she deserves the world because she does well in school (3.5 gpa and i have like a 3.64 at the same school she went to) I work full time as well as go to school full time yet she thinks she deserves everything....she has backed into my car 4 times in the driveway because she did not look behind her and half the time i dont even want to get money from her because i would have to listen to the complaining all the time.

Anyway, hope your daughter doesnt turn out like my sister, she used to get bad grades up until high school, so maybe you can at least look forward to that...but the biyatch in her has never changed and not to mention the boyfriends and birth control at the age of 15 haha, good luck man...guess this post turned into something else than was intended, but, doesnt really matter

 

[UltraQuiet]

Tough situation - reasons why I'm scared of becoming a parent

Anyone who isn't scared sh!tless is a friggin' idiot.