Originally posted by: her209
From Cartalk.com
The Joys of Being a Teacher
Actual answers and spelling on a 6th grade history test:
1. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
2. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
3. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
4. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
5. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
6. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
Originally posted by: her209
From Cartalk.com
The Joys of Being a Teacher
Actual answers and spelling on a 6th grade history test:
1. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
2. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
3. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
4. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
5. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
6. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
There's no way in hell a 6th grader wrote that. Either way, it's incredibly funny
Originally posted by: aphex
'Near Miss' always bothers me.... Shouldn't it be 'Near Hit"?
Originally posted by: alkemyst
The funniest people are the grammar nazis though, most of them (the ones that feed off it) use word to edit their posts or an inline spelling/grammar checker.
Originally posted by: KillerCharlie
Originally posted by: Tiamat
Originally posted by: boomerang
Had a co-worker who never had an idea, he always had an ideal.
hah, i haven't heard that one, although I have heard people have eye deers...
I've noticed that people from New Zealand always say "idear" instead of "idea." It's the most annoying thing.
Originally posted by: redly1
"Can I ask you a question"
Can I axe you a question"
Originally posted by: pulse8
Coming down the pipe (instead of pike)
Originally posted by: jonmcc33
When someone says "could of" or "should of". It's "could have" or "should have" you illiterate freaks!
Originally posted by: kranky
'em" when he couldn't remember the word for something. "Hand me that what-do-you-call-'em." But he would slur it all together as "whatchacall'em". And for years I had no idea where he got such an odd saying, because I thought he was saying "watch column". I think I was in high school before it dawned on me what he was really saying.
Originally posted by: Mojoed
Could of
Should of
Would of
I can't stand any of the above. I don't understand how anyone can make it through high school and STILL make those errors.
I'm normally not a grammer natzee, but it makes me shake my head when I see people type stuff like that.
Originally posted by: dugweb
not really written, but people that say "tuh" instead of "to" or "fer" instead of "for"
"what's that fer?" "oh, it goes tuh... uh... this piece her'"
Originally posted by: Mojoed
Originally posted by: LoKe
Originally posted by: Mojoed
Originally posted by: LoKe
Duck tape. =/
I hear ya, but Duck Tape is an actual brand now.
Oh God.
Not sure if you misunderstood me or not.
To clarify, I agree with you. I can't stand when people say Duck tape either even though it is a real brand.
The origin of the term "duct tape" is the subject of some disagreement.
One view[11][12] is that it was called "duck tape" by WWII soldiers because it was made from cotton duck, which their tents, tarpaulins, ponchos and other equipment were made from. The word "duck" was commonly used for camping equipment fabrics until synthetics replaced cotton. Some suggest that the waterproof quality of the tape contributed to the name, by analogy to the water-shedding quality of a duck's plumage. Under this view, soldiers returning home from the war found uses for duck tape around the house, where tents were forgotten and ductwork needed sealing, not ammunition cases. Other proponents of this view point to older references to non-adhesive cotton duck tape used in Venetian blinds, suggesting that the name was carried over to the adhesive version. The OED says that perhaps "duct tape" was originally "duck tape." This view is summarized most notably in a New York Times article by etymologist William Safire in March of 2003. Safire cites use of the term "cotton duck tape" in a 1945 ad for surplus government property.
The other view is that "duct tape" is the original term, since there are many documented uses of that term which pre-date all documented uses of the term "duck tape" for the adhesive-backed product (other than Safire's 1945 ad), and that there is no written evidence supporting the WWII story.[13] Some proponents of this view accept the idea that there was an earlier non-adhesive "duck tape", but claim that people have just confused the effectively identical pronunciation of two similar but unrelated products through the process of elision, and that the rest of the "duck" etymology is folklore or fabrication. This view was summarized most notably in a Boston Globe article by etymologist Jan Freeman, also in March of 2003.
Originally posted by: DangerAardvark
Originally posted by: Izusaga
This isn't rocket surgery.
That's usually intentional. Like "bass ackwards" or "Alfred Einstein".
Originally posted by: dighn
Originally posted by: flxnimprtmscl
Originally posted by: her209
From Cartalk.com
The Joys of Being a Teacher
Actual answers and spelling on a 6th grade history test:
1. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.
2. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
3. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
4. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
5. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
6. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx Brothers.
There's no way in hell a 6th grader wrote that. Either way, it's incredibly funny
Yeah. 3 and 6 are simply masterpieces that cannot happen through incompetence.
Originally posted by: her209
Along the same lines, I can't stand it when people say give me a:Originally posted by: LoKe
Duck tape. =/
Coke/Pepsi when they mean soda, soda pop, pop, etc.
Band-Aid when they mean bandage, gauze, etc.
etc.
Originally posted by: jagec
Originally posted by: aphex
'Near Miss' always bothers me.... Shouldn't it be 'Near Hit"?
Not necessarily...it is certainly colloquial, but ultimately it's referring to a miss (not a hit) which is near (close to the person/object which was in danger of being struck).
English grammar can be ambiguous that way.
Originally posted by: alkemyst
The funniest people are the grammar nazis though, most of them (the ones that feed off it) use word to edit their posts or an inline spelling/grammar checker.
I seriously doubt that. Word's grammar checker is worse than your average sixth grader.
Some people just use good grammar. No machine necessary.