Edited version:
*** ALERT ALERT EVACUATION IMMINENT. INCOMING. ***
I sat down.
*** CODE RED ALERT DO NOT COPY DO YOU READ ME ***
The instant my cheeks made contact with the cold hard ceramic surface my anus felt like a Hoover Dam that just exploded. An
unrelenting torrent of fecal matter came out at ass-ripping speed. I had never felt something so good. It was a soupy mixture
- highly pressurized -
THE FLOOD GATES HAVE BEEN OPENED
but mixed in with the erupting soup were pellets, kernels if you will, of poo. It was like I was shooting a machine gun and a
Super Soaker at the same time - actually, more like a fire hose with some walnuts stuck in it.
BRAM
I stood up, while erupting, and bent over to see the geyser. Call me tubboy. But then i felt a sharp pain. ARGH! My anus was
being expanded to goatse-sized proportions. I noticed that a small Italian man was emerging from my chasm. I didn't recall
eating an Italian man, but you never know. I _do_ remember eating a rather large and greasy French fry the night before.
IT WAS MARIO! - and he said "It's-a me, Mario". Then master chief busted through the stall door and killed Mario for jumping
from universe to universe because we live in a multiverse and Mario is a terrorist.
The end