I'm pretty sure he can find an E60 M5 in the low 30's.
Which is the easiest oil change you'll ever do by yourself. Open fill cap and dipstick, pump out old oil from dipstick hole, dump new oil in, close cap. Drive.
How do you reset the alert? When I asked about it a few years ago everyone just said it either can't be done or that I should buy the STAR service DVD for $800.