I lost my car keys

[Darwin333]

Nope. She said I was irresponsible.

Ouch, so you are a true eunuch? You poor poor man.

 

[Thebobo]

I found them!

 

[BudAshes]

I found them!

"And kids that's why we don't bring metal into the MRI room."

 

[pcgeek11]

I found them!

Ouch, Fuck me that looks bad.

 

[destrekor]

"And kids that's why we don't bring metal into the MRI room."

To be fair, this style of headlock is from a street brawl in India.

Also I love how Fox News is practically a tabloid these days:
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2018/04/23/man-cheats-death-after-being-stabbed-in-skull-with-key.html

That wasn't really ever going to be life threatening, except maybe from an infection. Maybe, with the worst luck imaginable (perhaps on par with getting a key stabbed into your skull in the first place...), that could induce uncontrollable internal bleeding/hemorrhaging - but really that's on par with countless cases of brain injury survivors. It was nowhere near vital regions of the brain to threaten life, so internal bleeding or infection were going to be the only potential causes of death.

 

[madoka]

Ouch, Fuck me that looks bad.

Could have been worse:

This kid made a full recovery.

 

[Paladin3]

I found them!

That's a 10 IQ point injury, at most. "Cheating Death" not found. He may not complete the NY Times crossword as fast as he used to.