I need some advice.

[Chaotic42]

As much as I hate asking AT for advice P), I need a neutral party. I, of course, won't be simply following what you post verbatim, but new insight is always good.

I'm 21. I'm from the coastal Mississippi area, around 80 miles east of New Orleans, 60 miles west of Mobile, AL. When I was 19, I lived with some "friends" who screwed me out of a couple of thousand dollars. My friend moved to Orleans, Indiana. I couldn't make enough to live (I made $6.50/hr, rent was $560, I had other bills, etc), and his mom got me a job in a nearby town. In late December 2001, I moved up here.

So now I live in Bedford, Indiana, working 7 days a week, getting by, but I'm not happy. At least I'm not dead.

My father is 74. He's not in good health, in fact he had a minor stroke tonight. He's ate up with skin cancer from being in the military, and he has something called COPD. My mother died when I was 16, I was in college and didn't get down there in time to talk to her. She died a few days after I got there.

I have no family here in Indiana. My roomate's family has pretty much adopted me, and while I'm appreciative of their kindness, it's just not *my* family. I had been planning to go to USM in Hattiesburg, MS in 2004.

My cousin wants me to move in with him in Gulfport, MS. I would pay him $100/mo rent. The thing is that his girlfriend lives there. I've met her a few times, but I would just feel weird.

I would also be making $1/hr less at McDonalds (there is always the possibility of a better job), but I would have fewer bills. There are ~600,000 people in the area, it's like a huge supercity made out of little cities. Here there are ~14,000 people.

I'm just looking for any guidance or comments you guys may have. It will cost about $700 to move everything down there, it might just be cheaper to sell everything and buy new stuff there.

Any comments are welcomed.

 

[Squisher]

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
My cousin wants me to move in with him in Gulfport, MS. I would pay him $100/mo rent. The thing is that his girlfriend lives there. I've met her a few times, but I would just feel weird.

Why? At worst it could be temporary.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Squisher

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
My cousin wants me to move in with him in Gulfport, MS. I would pay him $100/mo rent. The thing is that his girlfriend lives there. I've met her a few times, but I would just feel weird.

Why? At worst it could be temporary.

Living with people I don't know would be weird.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Squisher

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
My cousin wants me to move in with him in Gulfport, MS. I would pay him $100/mo rent. The thing is that his girlfriend lives there. I've met her a few times, but I would just feel weird.

Why? At worst it could be temporary.

Living with people I don't know would be weird.

 

[Squisher]

You don't know these people, at all?

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Squisher
You don't know these people, at all?

Well, I know my cousin, and I've met his gf, like I said. It would be the three of us. I've never lived with someone who wasn't a close friend/relative.

 

[Squisher]

It doesn't sound like too uncomfortable of a situation, but it wouldn't hurt to spend some time on the phone with this cousin to check out the situation.

Small strokes are bad news.

I would think this is worth the chance.

Would you have a backup plan if this didn't work out?

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Squisher
Would you have a backup plan if this didn't work out?

No, and that's what concerns me.

 

[Cuda1447]

Well worst comes to worst you could move back up to Indiana ya?

I think a more important question is are you out of college now? Plans for a career, and a chance to be able to support yourself and a family eventually? Where is the better area for a chance at a career, I mean Im sure you don't want to be working at McD's the rest of your life right? If I were you, I would *want* to move to the big city and take a chance. No risk = No reward.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Cuda1447
Well worst comes to worst you could move back up to Indiana ya?

I think a more important question is are you out of college now? Plans for a career, and a chance to be able to support yourself and a family eventually? Where is the better area for a chance at a career, I mean Im sure you don't want to be working at McD's the rest of your life right? If I were you, I would *want* to move to the big city and take a chance. No risk = No reward.

I went to college earlier, now I'm going back. I have no degree. Right now I work at a radio station. I would probably be at McDonald's in the larger city. I don't believe it would be possible to move back to Indiana.

The thing is, I've "taken a chance" like 4 times and it's come back to bite me in the butt really badly every time, except this time. Now I'm settled. I have stablility in my life for the first time in 7 or 8 years.

 

[Chaotic42]

Edit: Man, what's up with the forums?

 

[CanOWorms]

So is one of the decisions to move to your cousin's and decide to not go to college? Or are you going to just move and live there for a little while and then go to college?

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: CanOWorms
So is one of the decisions to move to your cousin's and decide to not go to college? Or are you going to just move and live there for a little while and then go to college?

Yeah, I'm going to college either way. I'll just be there until September. This is assuming that something doesn't go horribly wrong.

 

[Cyberian]

My cousin wants me to move in with him in Gulfport, MS. I would pay him $100/mo rent. The thing is that his girlfriend lives there. I've met her a few times, but I would just feel weird.

Would you have your own room/apartment?
Personally, I would move in with him while I finished school.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Looney]

My cousin wants me to move in with him in Gulfport, MS. I would pay him $100/mo rent. The thing is that his girlfriend lives there. I've met her a few times, but I would just feel weird.

I would definitely feel wierd about this as well... but just use it as a chance to get started. I say go for it.

 

[GalvanizedYankee]

1. Make a pro/con list for staying and moving.

2. Consider some factors, such as your respective housekeeping standards, noise level tolerance (given your need to study and sleep), smoking, drug/alcohol use, partying....

3. Are they students, too?

4. Pro's/con's of living closer to your father

5. Make out a budget for staying/moving

6. Will you have your own room/privacy?

7. Take just essentials in your car or rent a U-Haul truck or trailer. Be ruthless and trash lots of you decide to move.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: galvanizedyankee3. Are they students, too?

She is, he's an engine mechanic for the USAF

4. Pro's/con's of living closer to your father

No cons, really.

5. Make out a budget for staying/moving

I'll do that.

6. Will you have your own room/privacy?

I'll have my own room. That's all I need, really.

7. Take just essentials in your car or rent a U-Haul truck or trailer. Be ruthless and trash lots of you decide to move.

I can load everything into my car. Renting a truck will be $675, so I can just buy everything new there for less money. I'll be living with them until college, when I'll move up to the University.

 

[Chaotic42]

Bump

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Chaotic42
Bump

Again.

 

[Rob9874]

Sorry, no advice here, but I'm from Vincennes. I know Bedford because when I was in high school, every Hoosier fan knew where Damon Bailey was from. Has his hype there died down yet? Or is it the town's claim to fame still?

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Rob9874
Sorry, no advice here, but I'm from Vincennes. I know Bedford because when I was in high school, every Hoosier fan knew where Damon Bailey was from. Has his hype there died down yet? Or is it the town's claim to fame still?

No, I hear about him about once a week. I made the mistake of asing who he was once.

Next time someone talks about him, I'm going to say something like "Wasn't that the communist sympathiser from Bedford." or "Isn't he that guy in jail for child molestation."

I hate Bedford.

Brutuskend is from here though.

 

[Rob9874]

Well, I moved to Phoenix, as I hated the small town Indiana life (when I was 20). Now I'm 29, and miss Indiana. If I didn't have such a great job (Intel), I'd move back in a second. Probably not a small town like Vincennes or Bedford, but Indianapolis in a heartbeat. Of course, I guess I had to move to the city to see what it was like. I always thought I was better than the sheltered small towners, and all I talked about was getting out and living it up in the big city. But it loses its appeal. I miss family, Colts & Hoosiers fans (woo hoo Colts won today!!!), cold Christmases, etc. Our plan is to move back east in the next 5 years.

So I guess my advice is, you're gonna move away regardless if you hate it there. But you'll get homesick. It depends on what opportunities come up for you. That's how you know where you're supposed to be. It's funny how life's doors open and close for you, kind of guiding the way. Call it God's will, or fate, but I think everyone has a plan.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Rob9874

So I guess my advice is, you're gonna move away regardless if you hate it there. But you'll get homesick. It depends on what opportunities come up for you. That's how you know where you're supposed to be. It's funny how life's doors open and close for you, kind of guiding the way. Call it God's will, or fate, but I think everyone has a plan.

Well, I'm homesick for the south, but Bedford isn't my home at all. I've been here two years and I've been miserable since day one. Living in Indiana has made me appreciate the south so much more.

It seems like things have been pushing me away from Indiana. I'm becoming more homesick, more angry, and I'm less and less happy at job. It seems like it's time to move.

 

[Chaotic42]

Bump

I'm reaaaaaaaly thinking about it now.

 

Okay, before I proceed, Chaotic42, I'm dying to have some things clarified. You stated in another thread that you were protected from your parents because they were negligent/abusive (not physically). You said your mum used to take you to drug houses. So your grandparents adopted you.

Now, I am so confused, and I do not like to be! Therefore, my question is, are the parents you were referring to the same parents whom you mentioned one had gotten into an accident and later died, and the other is now old? It seems rather odd what you stated in the other thread about how glad you were that you were shielded from them. If they aren't the same parents, then were you adopted or what? Your stories are confusing.

"I have no family here in Indiana. My roomate's family has pretty much adopted me, and while I'm appreciative of their kindness, it's just not *my* family. I had been planning to go to USM in Hattiesburg, MS in 2004.

My cousin wants me to move in with him in Gulfport, MS. I would pay him $100/mo rent. The thing is that his girlfriend lives there. I've met her a few times, but I would just feel weird."

My advice: Go only if you really like the state of Mississippi (MS, right?). Reason: Your relative having a gf is a bad, bad news. He won't give her up in the event of a conflict and will probably often side with her. So be sure you're set to move out very quickly to avoid a bad relationship with you two. For this reason, you should be sure you don't mind a life in Mississippi.

Most importantly, you really want to be independent. I think it's time for you to do that. You may get more injured if you try to bond so much at this point in time, where you're trying to establish yourself. During holidays, you can visit your relatives or adoptive family. Personally, I would choose a state that I would love to explore. I would then "adopt" a family there.

I hope my input made sense.