I need some advice.

[FoBoT]

move

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: luvly
Okay, before I proceed, Chaotic42, I'm dying to have some things clarified. You stated in another thread that you were protected from your parents because they were negligent/abusive (not physically). You said your mum used to take you to drug houses. So your grandparents adopted you.

Now, I am so confused, and I do not like to be! Therefore, my question is, are the parents you were referring to the same parents whom you mentioned one had gotten into an accident and later died, and the other is now old? It seems rather odd what you stated in the other thread about how glad you were that you were shielded from them. If they aren't the same parents, then were you adopted or what? Your stories are confusing.

Yeah, it's confusing. My birth parents are the bad ones. The people I call my parents are my maternal grandparents. They have been nothing but kind and loving. My birth parents may or may not be down there, but I will have no contact with them. When I say father, I mean my mother's father.

My advice: Go only if you really like the state of Mississippi (MS, right?). Reason: Your relative having a gf is a bad, bad news. He won't give her up in the event of a conflict and will probably often side with her. So be sure you're set to move out very quickly to avoid a bad relationship with you two. For this reason, you should be sure you don't mind a life in Mississippi.

I like Mississippi. I've lived there most of my life. I will be around my family and my old friends. I have a back up place to live (possibly) with my Uncle and his family in Louisiana.

Most importantly, you really want to be independent. I think it's time for you to do that. You may get more injured if you try to bond so much at this point in time, where you're trying to establish yourself. During holidays, you can visit your relatives or adoptive family. Personally, I would choose a state that I would love to explore. I would then "adopt" a family there.

I've been independant since I was 18. I went to college at 16, but I moved back home. I've been busting my behind, paying bills, dealing with things like getting the power cut off, all of that on my own.

I can't visit my family on holidays now. I'm 800 miles away and I have no days off.

I think I may not have been clear earlier:

Barring something terrible happening, I will be going to USM, 60 miles from Gulfport, MS no matter where I live. I'll be living there, at school, so I'll be near my family. My dilemma is should I move back home *now*, or should I just live in Indiana until I go to college in September 2004, at which point I'll be close to home.

Home that clears stuff up.

Thanks for the reply.

 

[Mermaidman]

I vote for move to MS because you like the area, have family, and plan to go to college there (qualify for in-state tuition). I do have a few questions:

What kind of accommodations does your cousin have in Gulfport? Is it spacious enough so that you can have your own space? I'm not talking just having your own room, but is the room on the other side of the house, etc.

Are you sure about landing a job there? Once Christmas is over, there'll be fewer jobs and more applicants.

 

[loup garou]

If I were you, I'd move to Gulfport to be closer to your father. Plus, I just like Gulfport. Perhaps you could get a job at one of the casinos? They pay better than McD's, I'm sure and if you're taking day classes, you could work nights. Good luck, Chaotic.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Mermaidman
I vote for move to MS because you like the area, have family, and plan to go to college there (qualify for in-state tuition). I do have a few questions:

What kind of accommodations does your cousin have in Gulfport? Is it spacious enough so that you can have your own space? I'm not talking just having your own room, but is the room on the other side of the house, etc.

Are you sure about landing a job there? Once Christmas is over, there'll be fewer jobs and more applicants.

Sad as it may seem, I'm a badass McDonald's employee. I've worked there before, they'll hire me immediately. As for the apartment, it's small, but I don't need much room. I can chill out at my relative's houses whenever I need a break from my cousin.

 

[Chaotic42]

DP

 

Hey, what's with the double post, Chaotic42? No one else seems to be experiencing it.

"I've been independant since I was 18. I went to college at 16, but I moved back home. I've been busting my behind, paying bills, dealing with things like getting the power cut off, all of that on my own.

I can't visit my family on holidays now. I'm 800 miles away and I have no days off.

I think I may not have been clear earlier:

Barring something terrible happening, I will be going to USM, 60 miles from Gulfport, MS no matter where I live. I'll be living there, at school, so I'll be near my family. My dilemma is should I move back home *now*, or should I just live in Indiana until I go to college in September 2004, at which point I'll be close to home.

Home that clears stuff up.

Thanks for the reply."

Ah, I see! Much clearer now! Thanks for the clarification . . . I should have known you were referring to your grandparents as your parents, but you know old men have kids too!

Anwyay, well, if you are set on this path already, then I would say you should stay in Indiana and move back home about a month to two before school starts. You want to readjust to your environment. You might be lucky to find yourself able to stay on your own. I understand you've been "independent", but I mean this time might be one to be close to your family but not actually live with them. I don't know . . . maybe I'm just not the Southern type with the crazy tight and extended family. Hehe! Well, at least you do have your uncle as an option. Maybe the first semester with your cousin would be nice; then move to your Uncle's.

Good luck!

 

[ssmithBH]

First of all, congratulations on your decision to complete college, a very intelligent choice. Getting the sheepskin shows a prospective employer that you can get a tough job done.

Since you're returning to college, your options for housing are limited. While I understand your reluctance to move in with Cousin and GF (from personal experience, three is NOT company), it looks like your best choice location wise, money wise and family wise. If this doesn't work out, there are always other housing options around a college.

As far as local (MS) job until college starts and while in college, can your cousin and other relatives and friends from the area do some classified ads searches for you? Headhunter? Perhaps with assistance, you can find a job that is not at McDonald's level, but actually something related to your future college major? Whether you go to MS with a job in hand, or go and search when you arrive, I think that getting re-established in MS is your best bet.

Best of luck and Happy Holidays! Hope your grandpa is doing better.

 

[ssmithBH]

First of all, congratulations on your decision to complete college, a very intelligent choice. Getting the sheepskin shows a prospective employer that you can get a tough job done.

Since you're returning to college, your options for housing are limited. While I understand your reluctance to move in with Cousin and GF (from personal experience, three is NOT company), it looks like your best choice location wise, money wise and family wise. If this doesn't work out, there are always other housing options around a college.

As far as local (MS) job until college starts and while in college, can your cousin and other relatives and friends from the area do some classified ads searches for you? Headhunter? Perhaps with assistance, you can find a job that is not at McDonald's level, but actually something related to your future college major? Whether you go to MS with a job in hand, or go and search when you arrive, I think that getting re-established in MS is your best bet.

Best of luck and Happy Holidays! Hope your grandpa is doing better.

 

[Chaotic42]

Well, I won't be living with family when I go to college. I'll be in a dorm or an apartment near college.

I've never been super close with my family, but I know that I don't like being so far away.

Also, I don't like Indiana.

I'm going to weigh my options over the next week. I'm getting fed up with my job up here, and I'm lonely. Working alone 7 nights per week in a town of 10,000 old folks isn't the best way to get a social life.

 

Hey, someone just did a double post too! So I'll take back the tease!

Oh, one more thing: I should have added that I think it's conditional. If you are open to the idea that you may not find living with your relatives conducive, then you should move early. Not right now, but at least five months earlier than school start date. You would be able to assess the situation. You would also have made enough to afford first month's rent with a roommate. If you like it with your relatives, then you know you're there to stay.

On the other hand, if you're almost closed to the idea of living elsewhere, then just wait in Indiana until about 1-2 months, or maybe 3 months, before school starts. You need time to prepare and adjust. You can make Indiana a pleasant place to stay if you really want to. It doesn't control your life, destiny or happiness; you do! Find something to make the time left in Indiana pleasant; for the longer you're away from your family, the more they'll appreciate your return!

Edit: Ah, I must be in a confused state this morning. I just read your last post. So you are saying you're going to be living in the dorms or elsewhere. Oh, okay. If so, then move out of Indiana now! Go have some soul food with your Southern family . . . sorry, I'm not familiar with the lifestyles. But really, go enjoy your family's company now.

 

[Mermaidman]

What about qualifying for in-state tuition? Is that a non-issue for you?

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: Mermaidman
What about qualifying for in-state tuition? Is that a non-issue for you?

I'm less than 22, so I have until May 12 to decide. In MS, whatever state your parents live in, if you're less than 22, is your state of residence. Even though I live in Indiana, according to MS, I'm a resident of MS for school purposes.

It's crazy, I know.

 

Hope you read my edit, Chaotic42! I'm sorry I seemed so confused . . . I was just in a chaotic state. :Q I think now I got the complete gist. Based upon the clarification, I do think you should move back to MS now. If your relationship with your relatives is decent, then there's a lot to enjoy for that period. You may want to make peace with Indiana, though, before leaving. Make your last month the best, so you would almost for a second think of staying there. As I said, I think you make your experience fun or miserable. It is easy to fill that void by convincing yourself that life would be much more fun if you were with your relatives. . . .

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: luvly
Hope you read my edit, Chaotic42! I'm sorry I seemed so confused . . . I was just in a chaotic state. :Q I think now I got the complete gist. Based upon the clarification, I do think you should move back to MS now. If your relationship with your relatives is decent, then there's a lot to enjoy for that period. You may want to make peace with Indiana, though, before leaving. Make your last month the best, so you would almost for a second think of staying there. As I said, I think you make your experience fun or miserable. It is easy to fill that void by convincing yourself that life would be much more fun if you were with your relatives. . . .

Hmm, well, I would leave on good terms. You never know when I might need a job again, and I might have to move back here.

I really do like the nature up here, there are more deciduous trees than in MS. Lots of cool parks and whatnot.

Being a Southern boy in a Northern town with a dead end job, sub zero temps, and no culture isn't all that great.

It's going to take some more reflection.

 

[Blieb]

I think you need to balls up and do it.

It sounds like you need a plan. Start over, go do it, it'll be good for you ...

 

[PanzerIV]

Chaotic42 as you may recall I am in MS too about 2 1/2 hours from where you may be living. Although I'm really a transplanted Northerner and MS isn't my cup of tea, I do enjoy the milder weather and the coast reminds me of my beloved Florida (except the crappy water..lol).

If you're unhappy and you wish to pursue this opportunity at USM I say by all means do it. Given your situation I am surprised you aren't in a depressed funk right now! I know I'd rather live here than Indiana any day.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: PanzerIV
Chaotic42 as you may recall I am in MS too about 2 1/2 hours from where you may be living. Although I'm really a transplanted Northerner and MS isn't my cup of tea, I do enjoy the milder weather and the coast reminds me of my beloved Florida (except the crappy water..lol).

If you're unhappy and you wish to pursue this opportunity at USM I say by all means do it. Given your situation I am surprised you aren't in a depressed funk right now! I know I'd rather live here than Indiana any day.

Heh, yeah.

If you want pretty water, book a ferry to Ship Island. There's a casino owner who wants to blow up the barrier islands so that the water is blue. It may happen, you never know.

 

[PanzerIV]

Originally posted by: Chaotic42If you want pretty water, book a ferry to Ship Island. There's a casino owner who wants to blow up the barrier islands so that the water is blue. It may happen, you never know.

Yeah, I went to Ship Island once around '96 and have been wanting to go back ever since. I love the boat ride out there and when we went some dolphins were following us. The waves were great and it gets deep not far from shore at all as opposed to the coast where it seems you can walk a half mile out and it's only up to your waste

 

[EagleKeeper]

Recommend that you pack you items into a U-Haul and pull them down to MS.

You do not sound happy in Indiana.

Do not sell you items, the $$$ will not be as much as you expect.
$700 seems awlful steep to move your stuff - unless it is a professional doing it. If so, do it yourself.

Make sure the the cousin GF is OK with you staying there. You do not want to ruin the relationship.

As soon as you can start looking for work and living near where you wish to go to school.

 

[Azraele]

I can't tell you what the right decision is. Weigh the pros and cons carefully and lend an ear to what your heart/gut says and go from there.

 

[Chaotic42]

Originally posted by: EagleKeeper
Recommend that you pack you items into a U-Haul and pull them down to MS.

You do not sound happy in Indiana.

Do not sell you items, the $$$ will not be as much as you expect.
$700 seems awlful steep to move your stuff - unless it is a professional doing it. If so, do it yourself.

Make sure the the cousin GF is OK with you staying there. You do not want to ruin the relationship.

As soon as you can start looking for work and living near where you wish to go to school.

I can't pull my stuff down. I might be able to work something out with my family members getting a truck.